my thoughts on.... 'Drive Angry'

So.... you want to watch 'Drive Angry'? Why yes, yes I did. Actually, I heard so many mixed things about this movie I was a bit hesitant. A lot of it was negative, but I have to say that I think a lot of it was either ungrounded or due to overly high expectations. If you walk into 'Drive Angry' with an open mind and the desire to see something new and fun, then you'll walk out happy. It is a prime example of over the top, balls out, big and silly, dumb and mindless fun. This movie does not claim to be Shakespeare or anything classic. 'Drive Angry' just is what it is, unapologetic. I'm actually kind of surprised it got the greenlight. It is an oddball story that might not fly with everyone. However, I would expect no less from the writer, Todd Farmer ('My Bloody Valentine 3D' and 'Jason X') and director Patrick Lussier ('My Bloody Valentine 3D' and the upcoming 'Halloween 3D'). Maybe that's why it got such mixed reviews? I personally feel that it had to do with 2 things. 1) the CGI leaves a bit to be desired and 2) Nicholas Cage is kind of over the top in the the best way. He usually shines when he's playing oddball, out of control characters. There also is quite a few people who don't feel that he's a good action hero and should stop making these types of movies. I agree, in some respects as he is getting older and sometimes seems kind out of place. (see 'Bangkok Dangerous')(which I haven't seen yet, just the trailer.) Anyway....

Here's the strange, yet funtastic plot: (from IMBD.com) "John Milton is up against the clock: Jonah King, the leader of a Satanic cult, has murdered Milton's daughter and kidnapped her baby. In three days, King and his followers will sacrifice the child at midnight. Milton picks up the trail in Oklahoma as well as rescuing a waitress named Piper from her brutal, two-timing fiancé. There are odd things about Milton: his driver's license is out of date, he has a very strange gun, and he's being pursued by a man in a suit who carries FBI ID and calls himself the Accountant. Piper, who's lived a life on the sidelines, has to piece things together on the fly as they close in on King." What they failed to mention there is that there is some serious other wordly stuff going on. As in heaven and hell kind of stuff. That's all I'm going to say about that.Well, it's obvious that I dug this popcorn flick. From start to finish, it was a damn fun ride that I would love to take again. Even with all of it's little flaws and unbelievable action, you can't help but just lose yourself in all the goofiness. I was actually kind of sad to see it end. If I was to classify this movie, I would absolutely call it a "man" movie. It's chock full of muscle cars, big guns, half naked chicks, good vs. evil and blood guts and gore. What more can you ask for out of a movie? Really, what more can you ask? Nothing.

At the end of the day, I ultimately can only cough up 3 out of 5 stars for it. I would seriously give it 4 out of 4 if it wasn't for two things. 1) The horrible CGI in the opening sequence. It was just so obvious and dumb that it felt like an entirely seperate movie. Kind of like the CGI in Disney's 'Aladdin'. (minus the flying carpet.) 2) The horrible CGI at the end of the movie. It's exactly as bad as the stuff from the beginning. I mean, I watched 'Battle: Los Angeles' and 'Skyline recently.... two movies that also have questionable reputations as good movies. However, they both have pretty killer CGI. Why can't this movie have spent a little more time getting quality people to work on it, rather than just settle for CGI from 1996? Ah well, I'm just picking on the little stuff at this point. I just say that you watch it with an open mind and a lack of expectations and you'll feel good when it's over. That's all I have to say about that.

If you like this, check out.... hmmmm, I'm at a loss for other movies like this one. I guess, just re-watch 'Drive Angry' again.

well, here it is.... my 300th post....!

So, 300 posts on this silly little blog and I'm still going strong. Who would've thought that was possible? It's been a crazy journey, but one that's kept me sane. In celebration of that, I'm including some contact information reminders for me and for my friends. This blog isn't just about me and my ramblings, I like to think of it as a jumping off point for people to chat and to find other cool things out on the net'. Because of that, you'll find some of my favorite links. Check them out, it'll be worth your time and here's to another 300 posts! Let's start with my info, which I think i've shared here before, but to anyone who's new.... here you go. If you want to find me on Facebook, you can locate me here: (and be my friend?)
http://www.facebook.com/joelunitardshow
I also have a dedicated page for this blog, where I put updates when new posts go up and where, hopefully, people can talk with each other about movies and other things. You can find that, here:
http://www.facebook.com/amomentarylapsewithjoel#!/pages/A-momentary-lapse-with-joel/198969670132513?sk=wall&filter=2
if you need to e-mail me to talk more about movies or have general questions.... you can use my email address from my former podcast The Awful Show.... you can send the e-mail to:
joelawfulshow@gmail.com
Now, in a different kind of medium.... you can find me podcasting on 'The Undercover Unitards'. So if you've ever wanted to hear my lovely voice on a weekly basis talking about my week, movies, TV, video games, stupid stuff on the internet and porn (including she-males).... then maybe you should check us out. You can find us on iTunes or directly at our site:
http://undercoverunitards.podbean.com/
I am very thankful for all of my friends, listeners and readers that check out my blog on a regular basis and that take their time to write their own or to podcast. As I promised earlier, here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!:

http://gettingmyheadonstraight.blogspot.com/
This is my cousin's blog and where I've guested with a blog post of my own and he wrote one for me as well. Good stuff.

http://sayviorssermons.blogspot.com/
This is my friend, Jeff's blog. He's a fellow movie reviewer and he also has a podcast with another friend, Jason. It's called 'Creepercast' and i'm sure you can guess what it's about. I've been a guest a couple of times and it's a fantastic show. You can find them on iTunes, Facebook and at the main site here:
http://www.facebook.com/creepercast
http://www.creepercast.com/

My friend Mike has a podcast called The Tikigeeks. I've been a guest on the show and it's a damn good time. Check them out at the link provided, you won't regret it!:
http://javakat.com/wp/

A fellow reader of this blog, a regular to add comments and a good person, King Uke has a blog. Reviews written from across the pond. Good stuff! Head over there, here:
http://theukuleleblog.blogspot.com/

Being a big fan of horror, here is The Horror Blogger Alliance. A comprehensive site for all things horror blog releated. This link is:
http://horrorbloggeralliance.blogspot.com/

If you're getting the writing bug, it all starts with a site and a desire to write. My host is Blogger.com. I've been happy with how easy it is and it seems to be pretty popular with other bloggers. They're here:
http://www.blogger.com/

If there is anyone that I've missed or forgotten, I'm sorry. I will be happy to add more folks to the list! Just drop me a line with the link and I'll get it up right away. The best way to get your voice heard is with cross-promotion with other like minded folks. And there are a lot folks out there with stuff to say.

Thank you, again, for all of the support. I will continue with this blog as long as I have something to write about and hopefully some people to read it.

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Barb Wire'

I went into this expecting nothing. I was told, by some, that it was a good/bad movie. What I quickly learned in about 10 minutes of the movie was that this was going to be complete crap. I didn't enjoy a single thing about this movie. I don't like Pamela Anderson, she's a waste of space and truly overrated. I can't say anything nice about this movie, so I won't say anything more.

1 out of 5 stars. The best part of this movie is when it ended. 1996 must have been a bad time for action movies. I think I blocked it out or maybe it was just this one.

If you like this.... you need help.

my thoughts on.... 'Machete' (2010)

It's been awhile since I posted a review, but things have been hectic with school and I've been sick.... possibly more on that in another post. That being said, I continue my 'Grindhouse' film festival with the Robert Rodriguez opus 'Machete'. I think this is the first starring vehicle for Danny Trejo and after watching 'Machete', I can see why he doesn't generally carry a film all by himself. It's not that he's bad in it or un-charasmatic, it's just that he's more of a character actor than a leading man. (sorry Danny.... don't hurt me.) [Side note: If you want to see one of my favorite roles for Danny Trejo, check out his portrayal of the young Michael Myers caretaker in Rob Zombie's 'Halloween'. He is spot on perfect in that role.] He does, however, sell the character of a former federale that has been forced into a situation he doesn't want to be in. He may not be the tallest guy in the world, but what he lacks in size.... he makes up for in attitude. He is such a menacing presance when he wants to be. He is a guy you wouldn't want to meet in a dark ally, especially if he's packing some sort of a weapon. What was a bit of a shame was that the rest of the cast just wasn't as strong as Danny was. Especially Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal and Lindsay Lohan, they were just so dull and uninspired. I don't understand their appeal and no matter how much I tried, they just kept drawing focus away from the movie and not in a good way. On the flip side of that, Don Johnson, Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin stole the show. I only wish that Cheech couldn've done more double shotgun wielding action throughout the flick, he was pretty badass.

The plot of this shakes out pretty much like the 'faux' trailer from the original 'Grindhouse' film. Robert Rodriguez actually used the original footage to tie it all togther and then, of course, added a whole lot of new stuff. I'd say that he got about 90% of the original actors from the trailer to make the final film. Anyway, Danny plays a man nicknamed 'Machete'. He's a former federale from Mexico who's life was destroyed by a very overweight and akward Steven Seagal. Fast-forward a few years and we find that America is at war with the illegals pouring over the border from Mexico. We establish several characters that will tie in directly with Machete's primary plot. We have Jessica Alba's Mexican girl gone illegal alien hunter. Michelle Rodriguez's taco stand vendor/illegal alien warrior. Don Johnson's over the top border patrol agent gone bad. And of course, Danny's relative and priest Cheech Marin. Danny is hired by Jeff Fahey to kill Robert DeNiro's politician character, but is double crossed. He becomes a man hunted, but he vows to get back at those who wronged him. The rest of the film is an all out, over the top action flick for those who love their films big and silly.

The thing that I love and hate about Robert Rodriguez movies are the fact that he pumps them out so quickly and with such reckless abandon. He does it in such a way that he doesn't have time to second guess if his ideas are original and fun or over the top and stupid. That is left up to the viewer to decide in the end. I know that he's capable of amazing things, we've all seen the 'El Mariaci' trilogy or 'Sin City' right? He has skills. He just gets so wrapped up in trying to make every single idea that he has into a movie that he loses sight of quality vs. quantity. I think he needs to learn that sometimes less is more. Take his movie 'Sharkboy and Lava Girl in 3D', this was a movie that was literally written because of a dream that his kid had. He made an entire movie based on the imagination of a child, no filter. I think this is charming and sweet and could have been something pretty keen, but instead.... he just spit it out at top speed and ended up with a big turd of a movie. A really big turd.

All in all, I think 'Machete' suffered a bit of Rodriguez-itis. It was put out as an after thought to a one off faux trailer that people loved and he felt obligated to make the full feature. With a bit more time, I think he could have tweaked this to be legendary. I still feel it deserves 4 out of 5 stars for it's ridiculous campiness and bloody action. I think he also deserves a lot of credit for calling in a bunch of favors to get a pretty big cast of stars. I also want to thank him for giving a character actor the chance to shine in a leading role and he couldn't have picked a nicer guy to give that chance. Who doesn't love Danny Trejo? So if you're bored and want to check out on real life for an hour and a half, this is THE film to watch. If you're looking for a film with minimal death's caused by lowrider's and fat Steven Seagal portrayal's of Mexican bad guys, than you should probably stay away from 'Machete'. Now let's see if Robert sticks with his promise at the end of this to make 'Machete Kills' and 'Machete Kills Again'. If I know him like I think I know him, he's already dreaming up the storylines and will have them both out before the end of 2013.

If you like this, check out: 'Planet Terror', 'Death Proof' and 'Hobo With A Shotgun'

my very brief thoughts on.... 'The Bounty Hunter' (2010)

Gerard Butler kind of snuck onto the scene and has since made himself into a household name.... Jennifer Aniston, of course, has been a big name for years.... the idea of putting them together seemed good at the time.... but if you're going to cash in on the success of two big name stars, you'd better have a good script and a good director.... i just don't know that this one quite hit the mark.... there are the occasional moments where i giggled or smiled, but it never was laugh out loud funny.... i was generous in my 3 out of 5 star rating.... i can say some of that goes back to my long term enjoyment of Jennifer Aniston's previous work.... i also have a bit of a man-crush on Gerard Butler and that doesn't hurt.... so that makes me a bit biased.... in my rating of the movie itself, if they were replaced with different actors, i think it might have been more like a 2 star rating.... i don't think i'll ever watch it again.... i don't feel like i wasted my time either.... it's one of those movies where you are home sick on the couch and you check out what's on cable and this movie pops up.... you don't have anything else to do and nothing else is on, so you end up watching this movie.... you feel no better or worse at the ending, you just feel like an hour and a half has gone by and you got to watch two pretty people be silly.... it's OnDemand right now, so if you're at home sick and have some time on your hands, check it out.... just don't expect too much and you'll probably feel satisfied at the end.... i did.

if you want some movies starring Jennifer or Gerard, check out: 'Leprechaun', '300', 'Office Space, and 'Reign of Fire'

my brief thoughts on.... 'The Expendables'

what person, that was alive in the 80's, did not cream in their jeans when they heard about this movie....? it was like a class reunion for all your favorite action stars from the last 3 decades.... the movie was in production a long time and was teased for years.... when it finally was in post production, the hopes were high for the possibility of the best action movie ever made.... or at least one of the most satisfying.... i think that since its release, it has garnered a lot of praise.... i just don't know how much of that was for nostalgia's sake and how much was honest praise for the movie itself.... either way, i had to wait until it hit DVD to watch it.... i was one of those fanboys that was really excited about this.... Sylvester Stallone has been doing good things recently.... Dolph Lundgren was due to be back on the big screen, as well as Jet Li.... Jason Statham is a bit oversaturated right now, but as a supporting role it took some pressure off of him.... Mickey Rourke is always good.... Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Eric Roberts, Steve Austin, Terry Crewes, and Randy Coture.... a fun list of folks.... so what did i think....? first, the plot....

a group of ragtag hired guns are sent to overthrow a South American group.... when they get involved, they find out there is a lot more going on then what was originally expected.... things start blowing up after that....
i gave it a 3 out of 5 star review.... i liked it, but it wasn't amazing.... maybe my hopes were so high that nothing could ever match them....? i had fun.... it just seemed to be your run of the mill action movie.... nothing new, nothing special.... seeing all those guys was entertaining.... the story was a re-hash of other stories already told.... the action was mediocre.... it just felt like something you've seen before, but with new faces.... i guess it accomplished what it set out to do.... it was designed to be a vehicle for Stallone and his friends to get together and play action her for a while.... everybody was given the chance to shine.... a good one-liner.... to blow something up.... to play against type.... i think that's all you really could have wanted.... maybe on a rainy day in the future i'll watch this again and find out that i was missing the point and i'll fall madly in love with it.... who knows....? all i do know is that Mickey Rourke stood out with his over the top performance.... and that Dolph Lundgren proved that he's still a menacing bad ass that will kick your in the butt if you mess with him.... i think i'm going to go watch 'The Golden Girls' now to get some of this testosterone out of my system.

other action movies starring some of the cast: 'One Man Army', 'Rambo', and 'Crank 2'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Predators' (2010)

as long as the 'Predator' has existed on celluloid, the debate about 'Aliens' or 'Predators' has existed.... and me personally, i have always been an 'Aliens' guy.... but i've watched all of the 'Predator' movies and even both of the 'Alien vs. Predator' movies as well.... it's not that i hated the 'Predator'.... i dug all the movies.... (except 'Alien vs. Predator: Requiem'.... nobody liked that movie.).... but when i heard that Robert Rodriguez had finally got the green light for his version of the 'Predator' that he'd been pitching for years, i was excited.... even though he ended up only producing the movie and not actually writing or directing it, i was sure it would still have his stamp on it.... the cast kind of threw me a bit.... who's ever heard of Adrian Brody as a lead in an action movie....? i had my doubts.... despite all of my reservations about the movie and whether it might be good or not, i went into it with an open mind and a bit of excitement....

the nice thing about this movie was that right off the bat they were going for a new twist on an old theme.... it opened with our heros in freefall and just waking up from being knocked out.... once they've "landed" on the ground, the fun begins.... all of the people that survived the freefall begin to run into each other and eventually band together.... as they try to figure out where they are and why.... each of them has a weapon or two, but no memory of how they got there.... soon they realize that they're being hunted and a few other surprises and then the fun begins....
the end result of this re-boot or 3rd installment in the 'Predators' catalogue was a good one.... the plot is simple enough, but fills you up.... Adrian Brody stepped up and played the hero quite well.... he kind of channeled his inner Christian Bale ala 'Batman' persona.... the action was good.... the 'Predators' were well done and took me back to the first movie.... and that excitement i had watching this new lifeform hunt Aronld in the jungle.... i came to the conclusion that even with how much i enjoyed this little sci-fi/action romp, it still only added up to a 3 out of 5 star outing.... it was such a simple and straight forward story that could have expanded the 'Predator' universe a bit more, but instead just relyed on a steady diet of action and aliens.... you'll have to rent this movie if you want to see it.... but if you're already a fan of the 'Predator' or this is your first experience with them, it's a winner either way.... this is a nice little slice of bloody goey goodness.

if you like this, also watch: 'Predator' (1987), 'Alien vs. Predator', and 'Predator 2'

my extremely brief thoughts on.... 'Samurai purinsesu: Gedô-hime aka The Samurai Princess'

i'm going to keep this short.... this movie looked promising, but sucked big time ass.... it's shot on a really low budget, with piss-poor special effects.... just stay away like the plague.... even though it's available OnDemand, don't waste your time.... just look at the poster at the top of this post.... it's better than the movie.

1 out of 5 stars.... and that's being generous.

if you want a gory, Japanese movie, watch: 'Tokyo Gore Police', 'The Machine Girl', or 'Stacey'

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Jimmy and Judy'

the cover of the DVD for this movie declares that "This is the film that 'Natural Born Killers' wanted to be!" (the name of the reviewer is so small you can't read who said it, i wonder why).... if this is the movie that 'Natural Born Killers' wanted to be, then i'm glad it didn't get its wish.... not that 'Jimmy and Judy' was terrible, because it wasn't.... it just wasn't anywhere close to what 'NBK' was.... this movie is another in the long line of first person filmmaking.... it came out in 2006, so it was a bit before the boom hit.... but it still is a bit cliched.... i think the saving grace of thie movie is Edward Furlong and Rachael Bella.... they work so well together that they ended up getting married in real life.... they sell their rolls as Jimmy and Judy.... i can't say you end up rooting for them, but you can't take your eyes off of them.... i know that i wanted to see how they ended up.... and being a fan of Edward Furlong, it was nice to see him in a lead again.... he's an untapped talent....

Jimmy is a loner who has a secret love for Judy.... he videotapes everything that's 'important' in his life and eventually shows her his recordings of her.... and then he shows her the recordings he made of him taking revenge on the people who've hurt her.... and that seals the deal, she falls in love.... soon they leave home and begin a small crime spree across the country trying to stay one step ahead of the law.... eventually they end up at a sort of commune run by a crazy guy.... some things happen and the rest is for you to see on your own....
i gave this 3 out of 5 stars for the love affair of Jimmy and Judy.... and for the starring role of Edward Furlong.... the movie itself is not fantastic.... it's a lot of previously used ideas and sequences that are strung together into a new story.... there's not much new to see here other than the fact that it's all filmed in the first person.... i woudn't tell you not to watch this.... it's worth the hour and a half of time to watch it.... and it's available OnDemand right now.... so how can you lose....? it's not high art, but it is entertaining.

other movies that are better than this, but similar in theme: 'Natural Born Killers', 'Badlands', and 'Bonnie and Clyde'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Legion' (2010)

from the time this was released, i've heard nothing but bad things about it.... there were a few positive things, here and there, that they pointed out in the movie but overall it was a failure.... this movie was intended to be a trilogy, however it's doubtful that this will happen now.... i'm a man that will give just about any movie out there a day in court.... some sooner than others, but eventually they will be seen.... and i stayed away from this one for quite a while because i was biased against it from the reviews.... i needed to give it some time and distance so that i could watch it with clear eyes.... (however, when it came out on Netflix OnDemand.... i can never refuse that.... so i watched it before i was totally unbiased....).... once i finally sat down to view this, i had very low expectations still, but the trailer showed some promise so i had a faint glimmer of hope.... i can honestly say that from the first scene on, i was intrigued.... and the further into the movie i went, the more interested i became.... it felt like a zombie movie, but with angels....

the basic story wasn't new, however the bigger storyline was something that i hadn't seen before.... i believe that this movie really could have been something.... i'm not sure what i can pinpoint that killed it, but i felt the ending could have been done much better.... that's the biggest thing that bothered me.... that and what i call 'the 'Stigmata' effect.... a movie that basis itself in religion, but disregards religion and just makes it up however they want.... or however will fit the best in the movie....

to keep the plot breakdown as simple as possible: angels come to earth, in human form, to stop the birth of a child that will save humanity.... but a small group of people, including the pregnant woman, barricade themselves in an old diner.... the only thing that can protect them is the angel, Michael, who gives up his place in heaven to save the child and humanity.... (that wasn't as simple as i would hope....)

the cast really puts on a good show and does the best with everything they have.... the special effects are done fairly well.... i enjoyed the action sequences.... i mean, who doesn't love massive amounts of guns firing....? the hordes of angels are frightening and change the way angels are thought of.... (part of the changes made to religious icons to meet the needs of the storyline).... it's a very dark movie that had a lot of promise.... i could see how this got greenlit to be made, i just wonder how it could go so wrong....? maybe i'm missing something....? or perhaps i'm just a simple guy who is easily entertained....?

i gave it 3 out of 5 stars and even watched it a second time.... i really think they should have re-thought the ending.... and perhaps the casting of Lucas Black as one of the leads.... not that i dislike him, but he just doesn't sell the storyline.... and i can't say i'd want to see him in a sequel.... maybe that's what happened....? i don't know.... maybe the world will never know.... either way, i recommend to check this out.... just close your eyes at the end or shut if off before the last 15 minutes play out.... it's a fun little time waster....

if you like this, watch: a zombie movie.... it's kind of what they were going for i think.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Aeon Flux'

i remember watching this cartoon on MTV and thinking WTF half the time.... granted, i enjoyed it.... but it was just so different from anything else out there.... so that when i heard that they were making a live action movie, i was skeptical.... some of the stuff that Aeon does in the cartoon goes WAY beyond anything a real person could do or be capable of.... therefore a live movie just seemed way to ambitious.... i think that's why i stayed away from this so long.... i figured at some point i'd give it a shot.... and once it hit the OnDemand section of Netflix, i figured now was as good as time as any.... not too mention, i saw Charlize come up on a list of badass action chicks.... and this is the only example of a movie she's been in where she was an ass kicker.... so all the more reason to watch this.... however, my expectations were really low....

its 400+ years in the future and mankind was wiped out.... only a few survived and were walled up in a utopian city where they can live and thrive in safety and peace.... meanwhile, outside the walls, nature has taken over the earth again.... man hasn't laid a finger on it since they were nearly made extinct.... strange things are happening and people are disappearing.... and there is a small renegade group of people aware of this and fighting against the problems with the system.... Aeon Flux is one of those people.... the movie unfolds in such a way that everything is explained slowly over the course of the movie.... intertwined with some sci-fi action and adventure....
overall, i wouldn't say it was a waste of my time.... i enjoyed it for the most part.... but i really think it could have been so much more.... there was such an in depth storyline that it could have been a bit longer and dealt more with all of the sub plots.... but it all seem pre-packaged to meet a certain time frame for the big wigs making the movie.... Charlize does a good job in the role.... and i enjoyed watching her kick some ass.... but again, a little more would have been better.... everything just seemed a little vague.... it's like a recipe that could have been the best food ever, but just wasn't seasoned right.... i gave it 3 out of 5 stars for a strong effort to convert such a difficult cartoon onto the big screen.... i think they managed pretty well overall.... for a straight sci-fi movie, it was worth the effort.... all in all.... a decent movie to spend a Friday night watching....

if you like this, check out: 'Equilibrium', 'The Matrix' and 'The Fifth Element'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Operation: Endgame'

once again.... a couple of quick notes about this poster.... 1) the movie should be called 'Project: Endgame' as that's the way it's referred to in the movie.... not 'Operation: Endgame'.... 2) there are a LOT of guns in this movie poster.... and let me say that only one gun is fired in the movie and it's nothing like any of the ones featured in the poster.... this is hugely misleading or false advertsing.... as i was expecting something like 'The Tournament' and got nothing like that.... all the weapons used are improvised.... anyway.... that being said.... that was a major gripe with this movie.... the poster.

this movie has a huge cast of comedians and a few action stars.... (as you can see from the poster).... Rob Corddry being the coolest of the bunch.... he should make an actual action flick.... i'd pay to see it.... his character is by and large the most likable character in the movie.... this movie is enjoyable to watch, but kind of falls short on overall plot.... i mean, the plot is interesting enough, however i just don't know how much i care about it overall as there are so many characters to follow and a lot of plot to shove into a small amount of time.... i mean the movie has a less than 1 and a half hour running time.... this really needed 2 hours to make it work.... i really wanted to get into some of the other characters.... as there was some good strong bases to build on.... just too damn short.
the plot centers around two groups of government agents who aren't really friendly.... both are overseen by a man by the name of the 'Devil'.... and all of their codenames are based on tarot cards.... nobody uses their own names.... it's the first day for an agent named the 'Fool'.... and during his first day the 'Devil' is killed and soon the two groups realize that the 'Project: Endgame' program had been started.... which meant that the entire complex was going to be vaporized.... so the two groups team up with each other and soon it's dog eat dog.... as they slowly began killing each other.... so you never want to get to attached to any main character, because they may not last long.... and during all of this, they're trying to find a way out....

this movie had so much potential.... but it was all wasted on a short running time.... i don't know if money was an issue or just bad screenwriting.... but it ruined what could have been something pretty kick ass.... i just left the whole experience wanting more.... and it wasn't there.... not too mention the ending was a let down.... enough of it was interesting enough to give it 3 out of 5 stars.... but it was just barely 3 stars.... i can't say i would push you to run out and watch it.... however, i suppose it's a Saturday movie to kill time with.... maybe on cable or if it ever comes OnDemand.... other than that.... watch 'The Tournament' again....

the only other movie that i can relate this too is: 'The Tournament'

my thoughts on.... 'Kick-Ass'

i had THE worst day.... and i was so happy when i came home and found 'Kick-Ass' in my mailbox from Netflix.... i made sure i got it the day it came out, because i wanted to see it since i first heard about it.... and let me just start by saying.... this movie does exactly what the title suggests.... it kicks ass....! it had bloody action, comedy, cool superheros, great storytelling, a good plotline.... everything that a superhero movie should have.... and with the new trend of making these movies for adults, not just for kids.... it brought this to a whole new level.... i thank god often for 'R' rated hero movies.... this wouldn't have been the same if it was PG or PG-13.... not the same at all.... and i was so happy to see my heroine from 'Witchblade' Yancy Butler in a minor role.... it floored me.... but that was just an added bonus.... everyone else in the movie was perfectly cast.... right down to Nicolas Cage.... for once he made sense as an action hero.... which i think is the way he's been trying to go for years now.... but with not much success.... they made the hero's costumes realistic.... something that someone could actually make and wear if they wanted.... granted their are people running around in this world dressed as superheros and doing good deeds (look it up on the net').... but nothing quite like this i think.... or if they are, they're pretty quiet about it....

our hero, Kick-Ass, is just another faceless kid in high school who longs for something more.... he's a comic book loving bit of a geek kind of guy.... who dreams about his fantasy girl.... oogles his hot teacher.... jerks off a lot.... is on the internet constantly and yet it's not enough.... he wonders why no one has ever tried to be a superhero.... so he takes it upon himself to be the first.... granted, he's wearing a wetsuit.... but it looks pretty damn cool.... we see him go through the growing pains of becoming a hero.... and some pretty serious ones at that.... more so than most heros when they're starting out.... soon other heros begin to emerge and we find out that there's a bigger plot behind everything.... involving a major crimelord.... and throughout the entire movie we watch Kick-Ass go from zero to true hero.... and we see the reality of putting yourself in this position.... no candy coating here.... what i really enjoyed about this movie is the wide range of characters.... granted you find several stereotypes portrayed.... but what do you expect from this kind of movie....? and since this is based on a comic book, i think that's why it has such a rich storyline.... i just wonder what they had to leave out to make this fit into it's 2 hour time limit....? and they even left it open for a sequel (which is in the works already).... i loved this movie from start to finish and it ran the full range of emotions.... and never had a dull moment.... it almost makes you want to become a hero yourself.... granted, after seeing what happens to the heros in this movie, i'm not sure it's the wisest move.... you'll find out what i mean.... unless you've already seen it.... i'm just glad that i finally had the chance myself to see it....

i give this a strong 4 out of 5 stars for originality and grit.... it's what 'Spider-Man' could have been if he didn't have super powers and was just Peter Paker in a suit without the special abilities and the movie was 'R' rated.... this one will be added to my DVD collection as soon as money floats into my hands and i can afford it.... between this and 'Watchmen', it's renewed my faith in the genre.... granted i'm leaving the 'Dark Knight' out of the mix here.... and i probably shouldn't.... i think it helped to open a lot of doors for the darker superhero movies.... and i'm sure they're more to come.... as a matter of fact, i know there is.... in summary, if you haven't seen this already.... you're missing out.... it's got something for everyone and i can't say enough good things about it.... i've already got it in the Netflix envelope, but i think i may just hang on to it a bit longer so i can watch it again.... yes, it's that good.... plain and simple, it kicks ass.

if you like this, watch: 'The Dark Knight', 'Watchmen' and 'Punisher: War Zone' (although none of these are funny.)

my thoughts on.... 'The Tournament'

i've said this before, but it's always a pleasure when you find a gem of a movie in the wasteland of straight to DVD junk.... and when this recommendation came along from a friend of mine, i decided to check it out.... i was not disappointed.... as a matter of fact, i watched it twice before i returned it.... that's saying something.... yes, i thought it was that good.... in my opinion, it had really high production values.... almost on par with your theatrical releases.... the action was kick ass.... the story was original.... the acting was fun.... overall a good way to spend an hour and a half....

the storyline goes that every 7 years there's a competition held to find out who's the best hired killer in the world.... they pit 30 hitmen against each other and rich onlookers bet on who they think will win.... sounds pretty simple....? everything is going to plan, when a priest accidentally becomes involved and everyone thinks he's one of the killers too.... it just gets bloody and action packed from there.... actually the whole movie is action packed and the blood is over the top.... lots of blood splatter and explosions, including people.... the whole movie oozes excess.
well, it's pretty obvious that i enjoyed this flick.... i'd love to add it to the DVD collection, as i'd like to watch it again.... Ving Rhames is at his bad ass best.... Kelly Hu (a very underrated action star) is in top form.... and Robert Carlysle plays the drunken priest to the hilt.... the rest of the cast is fairly unknown, but everyone works really well in their roles....

4 out of 5 stars.... well worth the rental from Netflix.... or wherever you can get it from.... i'm sure at some point it'll be OnDemand, but for now.... go and rent it....! if you like bloody over the top action films, this one is for you.... i wish that there were more movies out like this.... a great stress relief and good to the last drop. (of blood).

if you like this, check out: 'Starship Troopers', 'Hard Boiled' and 'Rambo' (2008)

my thoughts on.... 'Law Abiding Citizen'

i think Jamie Foxx is overrated.... i didn't care for 'Ray' and i love biopics.... i'm just tired of seeing him in serious roles.... he needs to branch out a little.... however, i like Gerard Butler.... i've enjoyed everything he's done to date.... and my wife, Amy, loves him as most women seem to do as well.... so i was 50/50 on this movie.... the storyline intrigued me.... it was written by Kurt Wimmer who wrote 'Equilibrium' an amazing film that not many people have seen.... it was also directed by F. Gary Gray, who directed 'Be Cool' which i find hilarious.... so all of that overuled my hesitations about Jamie Foxx.... and to be honest i'm glad they did.... i really enjoyed this movie.... it had an original concept, the plot was carried out extremely well.... and it was a fun ride....

it starts with Gerard living the perfect life.... a happy family with a wife and a daughter when a sudden home invasion takes all of that away from him.... he's left completely alone and bitter.... when Jamie Foxx, his lawyer, plea bargins down despite Gerard's desire to take it to trial.... it creates a hatred in the criminals and the legal system that cannot be quenched.... fast forward 10 years later.... one of the criminals is put to death by lethal injection.... the other is free and has slipped back into his old ways.... soon Gerard is on the warpath.... with not only the criminals, but everyone involved in his travesty of a trial.... without providing more information than is necessary as i don't want to spoil the ending.... but it's well worth the time and energy to invest in this story....
my only real issue with this film is that by the time the explaination is given as to why Gerard is the way he is and how he accomplishes all of the things he's done.... it's kind of far fetched and you really have to suspend your disbelief to continue to enjoy what's going on in film.... and i wanted it to be something more than it was.... and perhaps that's my personal hang up.... however, i guess it all comes down to each individual viewer.... and for me it lost a bit of steam.... never the less.... this movie has a lot to offer and pays off in spades....

i gave it 4 out of 5 stars, despite my hang ups.... and i would watch it again, just to relive everything this movie has to offer.... it still doesn't change my opinion of Jamie Foxx.... and nothing probably ever will.... but it continues the winning streak for Gerard Butler, who seems to have just stormed the Hollywood scene not that long ago and just keeps getting better.... and in reality it's probably been more than a decade.... but a slow burn.... do i recommend it....? yes. as a thriller i highly recommend you check it out.... it's original and worth the effort.... just check your brain at the door....

if you like this, check out: 'The Brave One', 'Death Sentence' and 'Death Wish'

my thoughts on.... 'Hard Revenge Milly' and 'Hard Revenge Milly: Bloody Battle'

i stumbled across this set of movies while searching out recent Asian action movies.... they're very much in the vein of the 'Gun Crazy' movie series, where they target a VERY specific audience.... in the case of 'Gun Crazy': good looking women with two guns blowing away all of the bad guys.... in extreme ways.... and 'Gun Crazy' spawned 3 sequels after the first one and each one only runs about an hour or so.... and so it goes with 'Hard Revenge Milly'.... the first one clocks in at only 43 minutes.... not much longer than your average sitcome episode, but with a lot more blood, guts and gore.... along with some kick ass sword fights, gun battles and kung fu action.... they jam a lot into the short period of time they're given.... granted the story is simple and the plot of the movie is just as simple.... that's not why they made these movies.... they seem to be part of almost a b-grade action sub-genre.... where they slap together a fairly good action movie and target specific audiences and then throw it out there and see what sticks.... it's not that different than porn.... and not something that you see much of in America.... a fascinating trend to say the least....

the basic plot is that a gang called the Jack Brothers murder Milly's husband and baby in horrific ways and stab her to the point where she should have died.... i mean she was nothing but a big hunk of meat by the time they were through with her.... she takes two years to train in weapons, martial arts and a little suprise you don't see until the end.... then she sets out to exact her revenge.... and as you can guess.... since there is a sequel, she doesn't die and the end of the movie show that someone has survived and wants her dead now.... thus part 2....

i wouldn't go any higher than 3 out of 5 stars on this one.... it's a fun little time waster but no real substance to it.... and i don't think they ever planned on it having any.... i think it was just to spawn sequels and break even.... and they did just that.... so if you have a little time and Netflix OnDemand and don't mind a tad silly ending.... check this out.... see what i mean.... now onto part 2.....

okay.... so they took a slightly different angle on this one.... they slowed the pace down a bit and took more time with building up the storyline.... this one clocked in at an hour and 14 mins.... so you can tell they wanted to step up their game a bit.... i think that between the two movies, this was a step in the right direction and i would watch a 3rd in the series, if they make it.... (which they set it up for another one.).... the action was just as good.... the weapons were new.... they took out a tad bit of the silliness at the end of the first one.... they introduced a lot more bad guys to kill.... and overall just increased the stakes for this movie.... you learn a lot more about the future that Milly is living in.... the Japan of the future.... and it expands the world into a much more interesting place, a place you want to know more about.... a dark future....

cohorts of Jack are after Milly, who has built herself a bunker to hide out from all those who want to kill her.... a woman wanders into the warehouse where it's located looking for her help.... it seems that the womans lover was killed and now she wants revenge and was pointed in Milly's direction.... soon the bad guys come a calling and all hell breaks loose.... it just builds the tension from there as Milly and the woman become entangled in the final battle with those who want to kill Milly for her rampage on Jack and his gang....

3 out of 5 stars again.... it does what it sets out to do.... to entertain and get you pumped up with all of the action.... it also introduces cool new gadgets to get excited about.... all around it's evolution in the series and helps to create the possability of a franchise.... i don't know how far this series is going to go.... 'Gun Crazy' only seemed to make it through 4 movies total, but none of them got a rating as high as Milly did.... so i think she has a better chance at a longer possible run.... but what happens after everyone tied to Jack and his gang are dead....? Milly's only pupose for living is to get her revenge.... after that, there's nothing left.... will that leave anything left for us the viewer....? only time will tell.

if you like this movie, check out: 'Gun Crazy', 'Tokyo Gore Police' and 'Machine Girl'

my thoughts on.... 'Chocolate'

"The feel good Thai-fu movie of the year!" - Joel.... or that's how it would read if i had to sum it up in one sentence.... granted it's not 100% true.... but it has a good heart at the center of all of the action.... and the action is something to write home about.... it's some of the best i've seen in a long time.... and from what i hear about 'Ong-Bak', it seems the Thai have cornered the martial arts movies.... i wasn't even aware....?!?! anyway.... the movie had endless action, a unique storyline and decent acting.... all in all, i left feeling good and was impressed by the martial arts.... and from what i hear there were no stunt doubles.... supposedly the actress was trained specifically for the role as it was written just for her.... that's dedication....

a man and a woman fall in love.... but there in the middle of a Yakuza turf war.... and they're told by the boss to stay away from each other or there would be severe consequences.... but in true Romeo and Juliet fashion, love conquers all.... for a while.... soon the woman finds out she's pregnant and tells the man to go back to Japan where he's from, not telling him about her baby.... she ends up having and raising the baby on her own, but the baby has one thing different than most babies.... she's autistic.... and it would seem she has the uncanny knack to copy anything she sees perfectly.... and her favorite thing to do is watch kung fu movies.... obviously you see where that's going.... soon her mother becomes ill with cancer and her and friend start to try anything to raise money to help with her medication and hospital bills.... after a while they discover a ledger showing a large group of people who owe money to her mom.... so they try to start collecting.... and that leads to the girl resorting to her martial arts to get it back.... and the rest goes on from there....
there's a lot of wonderful things about this movie.... granted it feels the same as a lot of other movies.... but it doesn't matter.... it's so enjoyable, you can't help but love it.... the fight scenes are well chorographed.... the acting is the usual over the top kung fu movie style.... there's a great bit in the first fight scene where our heroine pays tribute to one Mr. Bruce Lee.... it's awesome.... this movie is rated R, but i'm unsure why.... there's no real blood or gore.... the fighting is almost in the style of Jackie Chan.... i guess the rating system is held to a different standard in Thailand....

anyway.... i gave it 4 out of 5 stars.... and i wouldn't mind watching it again.... it was a fun little hour and a half romp.... i don't know if it would be included in my collection, but i don't own too many chop sockey movies.... unless Jackie Chan, Jet Li or Chow Yun Fat is involved.... i like em' though.... and i plan to see a few more of the recent classics i've missed.... and my queue is at the ready with at least 4 more.... i'm starting to feel like this review is just getting redundant.... so i'll end it here.... but i recommend if you like good martial arts flicks and want something a little off the beaten path, then this one is for you....

my thoughts on.... 'Iron Man 2'

this movie is an excercise in excess.... plain and simple.... after the success of the first one, they had to step it up to making it bigger and badder in every way possible.... more big name actors, more bad guys, bigger explosions and lots more Iron Man.... now in some cases that may be a bad thing.... but in the case of 'Iron Man 2' i think it was almost needed.... i mean, the first one was done so well that it would be hard to top without going over the top.... granted the storyline isn't quite as good.... but who cares....? i loved watching War Machine come to life.... i loved to see Mickey Rourke do his thing.... i could have done without the Scarlett Johansson, but i think anything she's done after 'Ghost World' has been mediocre and i don't quite get the whole fascination.... (sorry guys.)....

the plot involves Mickey Rourke's character coming from Russia to get revenge on Tony Stark for his fathers sins.... meanwhile the government wants Iron Man turned over to them for use in the military.... and another weapons manufactorer, played by Sam Rockwell, is out to get the Iron Man suit to mass produce for themselves.... meanwhile Tony Stark is slowly dying.... S.H.I.E.L.D. is trying to recruit people for the Avengers project.... and that's just the broad overview.... there's a lot more of a lot more going on amongst the big bangs and pows....
i personally found this to be a fun romp at the cinema.... something to be seen on the big screen and something for the summertime.... it's not going to win any awards other than for it's special effects.... but you don't go into a super hero movie expecting Shakesspeare.... or at least i don't.... there are rare exceptions, but very rare.... i really enjoyed all aspects of the movie and will be adding it to my DVD shelf right next to the first one.... and will do a double feature at some point.... it's a well put together film with a lot going for it.... i've read negative things about it.... however, i wonder if the critics are just expecting too much from a comic book action movie.... i was impressed and felt like a little kid again enjoying the cool stuff that was going on right before my eyes and i suspended disbelief so i could become that much more involved....

i give this 4 out of 5 stars for the fun factor and kick ass effects.... not too mention i loved almost every actor involved.... Jon Favreau went out of his way to check my list of favorite actors and pick out some of the top ten.... this is the perfect example of what a blockbuster should be.... and i hope that they consider a third film with Favreau at the helm.... he's proven himself yet again as a good director and with the characters and world he's established, i want to go back there again and again.... to hear the mechanics whir in Iron Man's suit to the clang of his fist hitting the metal of other robots.... it's all just a blast and a good way to cleanse your brain every once in awhile from the bad movies, cerebral movies and the movies that you just need to escape from.... i highly recommend this to people who loved the first one and who like a good popcorn action flick.... not too metion it's fairly safe for the kids too.... a little bit of language here and there.... but it's over run by the action going on that you hardly notice it unless you're listening....

i'm looking forward to seeing it again.... if for no other reason than to see War Machine kick some ass.... oh and one final thing.... stay until the end of the credits again.... there's a suprise waiting for you.... and if you're a comic book fan, you'll dig it....

my thoughts on.... 'Watchmen'

i remember when comic book movies were just for kids.... and to find one that appealed to adults or was even close to some of the more adult oriented comics was impossible.... gradually over the years this trend has changed.... i think that the studios understand that you can still have a hit even if it's not just PG-13.... and if it's a bit more graphic than you're average comic book film.... i think it's about damn time.... there are some exceptions to the rule.... but many of them suffer from the Hollywood syndrome.... ie: they sellout the original story to meet some kind of demographic.... or they re-write the ending to make it more happy.... so when i heard that the classic comic book 'Watchmen' was being turned into a film, i was skeptical.... when i heard it was being directed by Zack Snyder i started to have a glimmer of hope.... and when i heard it got an 'R' rating, i was stoked.... i finally had a chance to watch this last night.... and not since the 'Dark Knight' have i been so engrossed in a comic book film.... from the opening credits to the closing song, i was lost in a world not my own.... an alternate reality of 1985.... i was fascinated by a group of characters that aren't always likeable, but you can't take your eyes of them.... it seemed to me that this may be another fine example of pitch perfect film making.... but we'll get to that later....

the storyline is rich and deep and anything i could write here would not do it justice.... it's just something you have to experience..... so instead, i'll give you the broad strokes.... one of the superheros, The Comedian from the group called The Watchmen, is murdered and suddenly there is a concern that someone is out gunning for supers.... meanwhile, all superheros have been banned and although they try to lead normal lives, some of them just have a hard time letting go.... and overshadowing the whole storyline is the fact that the US and Russia are on the brink of nuclear war and everyone is on edge and no on feels truly safe.... and that's just skimming the surface.... there's so much more underneath.... i can't emphasize enough that you need to see the movie to get the whole story.... or at least read the comic.... but if you want the whole shebang, do both.... you won't be sorry.
this film has extremely well developed characters.... an interesting storyline and more than enough action and intrigue to satisfy even the most passive filmgoer.... it's one of those movies that transcends it's genre.... if you took the fact that they were superheros out of the storyline and just told the story without that little factor.... you still have an amazing story that has depth.... the superhero angle just makes it that much more interesting.... i may sound like i'm gushing, but it's not very often that films like this come along.... and when they do, they deserve as much of an audience as they can get.... this is a film that i would recommend to just about anyone over the age of 18.... and even more so if they're film lovers or comic book lovers.... chances are though, if they're in either one of those categories, i'm sure they've already seen it or own it....

so what rating do i give it you might ask....? well, that's where things get strange.... despite all of my high praise and love of this film.... i kept feeling like there was something missing or something that i missed.... it just felt slightly off.... so therefore i give it 4 out of 5 stars.... but before you go off and rail on my judgement hear me out.... i have a deep seated feeling that upon a 2nd or 3rd viewing this will change to 5 out of 5 stars.... there was just so much going on that i think it takes repeated viewings to truly enjoy this in it's entirety.... it's just that simple.... i know that it will end up in my movie collection and be a welcome addition.... i've also planned on going back into my comic book archieves and digging out the original comics so i can remember the joy i felt when i first read it.... but now i can see it through fresh eyes and put voices to the characters.... and i feel it'll be that much more enjoyable to read....

end of review, see this now. do not pass go, do not collect $200.... just go out and rent or buy it and sit down and delve into the world of the Watchmen for almost 3 hours.... it's well worth every minute of your life.... thank you to everyone involved with the making of this movie for bringing something to life that deserved a wider audience.... the end.

if you like this movie, you might want to watch: 'Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter', 'The Dark Knight' and read the comic book series

my thoughts on.... 'The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day'

before i even start this review.... what in the hell happened to Sean Patrick Flanery....?!?! he looks NOTHING like he did in the first film.... i kept thinking they just couldn't get him back for the sequel so they replaced him with someone who looked sort of like him.... but they didn't....! it was actually him....! and i didn't realize it until the credits rolled and i saw his name at the top.... so i ask again.... what in the hell happened to him that made him look so differently....?

so onto the review.....

i remember the first time i saw 'The Boondock Saints' and how cool i thought it was.... it was a good little movie with some cool gunfights, some cool characters and a fairly interesting storyline.... it had the makings of a cult classic.... but then nothing happened after that.... Troy Duffy (Director, Writer, Actor, etc) just kind of disappeared.... then i heard of a documentary called, 'Overnight'.... a fascinating look at someone's almost overnight rise to fame.... and how he handles it.... and he's really kind of a jerk.... he starts to believe his own hype and the more he tries to make 'The Boondock Saints II' the less likely it seems to be that it'll ever happen.... and that's kind of where we're all left.... and Troy Duffy just sits in limbo with no other projects and he drifts off into no where land....

fast forward 10 years later.... and it's finally here.... 'The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day'.... and i got excited to see where the characters have been all this time.... and as i sat down to watch it, i was instantly thrown back into the characters, the settings and the film itself and was reminded why i loved the first one to begin with.... and as the movie went on, there wasn't much new to see.... but i don't think Mr. Duffy was out to break new ground.... i think he just wanted to finish what he started.... and at that, he succeeded.
the saints have moved to Ireland and live on a sheep farm with their father and have been hiding out all these years from the law.... you might say they were on the "lamb" (yuck yuck).... when suddenly they get wind of a copycat killer back in their hometown who's trying to call them out by copying their style of killing, but on a priest.... this causes the boys to go back home ready to right the wrong and kill everyone involved that gets in their way.... of course during the trip, we run into all the old cast of characters.... including some new ones that have a familiar feel.... it's like going back home again and meeting some new friends and seeing some of the old ones.... it was comfortable....

it's not the original, but i really enjoyed it.... i was a little let down by the ending and could have used a strong finale.... however, i'm not Troy Duffy and these aren't my characters.... it'll be a part of my collection and i'm sure i'll have a Boondock Saints marathon and watch them back to back.... i'm not really sure i would want to see a 3 installment.... i think it's gone about as far as it can go.... so what did i think overall....? i'll be generous and give it 4 out of 5 stars (the same rating i gave the 1st movie).... because it's exactly what i wanted it to be.... something like the first movie, but something different.... it was like that new pair of shoes that's replacing the exact same pair of ones you had before.... they feel the same in ways, but they're not nearly as comfortable.... however, you know in time they'll be just as comfortable as the old ones you just need to give it time....

if you liked the first movie at all, i recommened you see the sequel.... end of story.

if you enjoyed this movie, also watch: 'The Boondock Saints', 'Equilibrium' and 'The Big Hit'