Friday, December 28, 2012

"It's on like Donkey Kong.".... or the new episode of 'The Sunshine Happy Kpants Hour'....!

The 44th episode of 'The Sunshine Happy Kpants Hour' is uploaded and now available through iTunes, Talkshoe and streaming LIVE right here!

Well, it's a show. Hopefully, this will entertain you for a few minutes.... but the talking bits are kind of lame, sorry. Next week, right? This weeks topics include: sports in my life, females heroes and the backgrounds of each band played. ENJOY?

Songs played this week:

1) Jerk Lessons by Apocalypse Hoboken

2) Ethel Merman by Archers Of Loaf

3) 15 Seconds by astroPuppees

4) Lion's Mouth by Big Chief

5) Today Will Be Yesterday Tomorrow by Big Hello

6) Bird, Pt. 2 by Blinker The Star

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

my thoughts on.... 'Silent Night' (2012)

It's Christmas time and what better way to celebrate than with a Christmas themed horror movie? After remembering 2006's surprisingly enjoyable 'Black Christmas' remake, I figured I'd give this direct to DVD movie a shot too. (However, I wasn't sure if it was a remake or what it was, before I watched it.) I also had to weigh in the fact that I've seen just about every other Christmas horror there is, I needed something new and something outside of the usual holiday fodder. Going a little further back in this story, I originally saw this movie on the shelf at Wal-Mart. Before that, I hadn't heard anything about it. With the sheer amount of stuff coming out direct to DVD and direct to certain retailers, it's hard to keep up. The box cover intrigued me and the cast was interesting enough to make me send a reminder text to myself to research it later. It looked like a gritty, slasher with no real in depth storyline, just a 'check your brain at the door' popcorn movie. The reviews were decent and the trailer and screen caps ultimately made my decision. Somehow, this one wasn't in high demand on Netflix, so I was able to get it for the week before Christmas. Upon settling in and starting the DVD, I got a little nervous. The opening sequence basically gave up the face of the killer Santa. The girl, tied up and bloody, turned me off and the first kill involving Christmas lights, was kind of silly. What happened as time went on was a curiosity to see how the rest of it would play out. That and the fact that I realized it was a reboot or re imaging of the classic 'Silent Night, Deadly Night' from 1984. The realization came during a scene where a young man was talking to a senile, mute old man. The old man suddenly becomes very animated and verbal and warns him of the deadly, killer Santa. This scene is almost carbon-copy from the original. However, the original scene was much more frightening. I'll let you in on a little secret though, I only caught about one more directly copied kill in this movie.... but I'm not an expert on the original.

The basic plot line here, goes like this: Small town police officer Aubrey Bradimore (Jaime King) is tormented by something in her past and is supposed to have Christmas off. She awakens to a call from her boss, Sheriff Cooper (Malcolm McDowell) wanting her to come in to work. It would seem that the officer that was supposed to be working her shift, has strangely not shown up. Soon she discovers that he and another woman have been murdered. However, it doesn't take long to realize that the murderer is dressed up like Santa and seems to have an ax to grind. (ALL pun intended.) The bodies start to pile up, but no real leads. There is an annual Santa parade in town that has created an overflow of men in red suits with beards. The only possible lead that they have is a man by the name of Santa Jim (Donal Logue). After taking him in to custody, Sheriff Cooper thinks things are all wrapped up, but things are about to get so much worse. Aubrey realizes that all of the murder victims are 'guilty' of something and have been sent a gift before getting murdered. Worse yet, her father received one of those gifts too! But her father is a good man and a former cop, why would he be targeted? The plot thickens. All of this is leading up to a big climactic showdown at the police head quarters involving Santa, the sheriff, Aubrey, Santa Jim and a flame thrower. No, I'm not kidding.

Before I go any further, I have to point out one thing with this movie. I'm guessing that the director, Steven C. Miller ('The Aggression Scale') must be a Rob Zombie fan. The use of a shaky cam during kills, was intended to show the power of the killer Santa. Rob Zombie used the same tactic, to much better effect, in his 'Halloween' remake. In this movie, it just gets kind of annoying. Too much of a good thing, I suppose. Back to the review.... The opening scene gives you a small taste of who the killer is, without giving up all the goods. As the story moves on, it becomes more and more clear who's behind the crazy Santa get up. But, by the end, if you TOTALLY missed the reveal.... there's a complete explanation of everything. I don't know if that was a good thing or not, but it exists and that's that.

It may sound like I didn't like this movie, but it's kind of the opposite. I actually quite enjoyed it. 'Silent Night' had a nice little cast, the Santa costume was genuinely creepy and the story was solid (although a re-hash). The biggest problem with this movie was the shaky cam and the somewhat silly kills. The wood chipper was the worst dum-dum moment. I suppose you could qualify it as an homage to 'Fargo', but it really came off as a complete waste of film. It was unbelievable and over the top and put this movie in the b-grade category because of it. This part also made me wonder how many damn Santa suits this killer had? Because by the end of the wood chipping, he was covered in blood. Either he is a dry cleaner on the side or he owns stock in a Santa suit only costume store. (I'm guessing he also made several more masks, but they just don't show him doing it.) All in all, a 3 out of 5 star outing for Christmas time. A movie that I would recommend, if you're all done with family time and want to take out some aggression. It is your typical 80's style slasher movie.... complete with revenge back story, a good mask, original kills and a little nudity for fun. I would actually consider adding this one to the collection, just to have it around for next year's Christmas break. This would fit in well with 'Santa's Slay' and 'Black Christmas' (2006). Don't let anything else you've heard about this sway your opinion, this is a simple and solid horror movie for fans of horror. Just enough cheese to top your nacho's and just enough gore to not make you throw them up. Merry Christmas!

If you dug this one and one some other non-traditional suggestions, let me recommend 'Santa's Slay', 'Die Hard' 1 and 2, 'Black Christmas' (2006), 'Gremlins' and 'Christmas Evil' (for some varied holiday themed movies)

Friday, December 21, 2012

Happy Horrordays! 'The Sunshine Happy Kpants Hour' is here and just in time for Christmas....

The 43rd episode of 'The Sunshine Happy Kpants Hour' is uploaded and now available through iTunes, Talkshoe and streaming LIVE right here!

Happy holidays everyone! Another week, another episode in the books. This is my annual Christmas show and I hope you dig it. My topics include artistic inspiration, concerts and what Christmas should be about. It's possibly the last hour this year.... ENJOY!

Songs played this week:

1) It's Christmas Time by A Band Called Quinn

2) Call Of Duty Christmas by The Energy Commission

3) Give Me A Second Chance For Christmas by The Candy Butchers

4) Here Comes Christmas by The Nadas

5) Halloween Is Awesome by Hyper Nonsense Music

6) Chistmas Is Over by 2 Drunks And A Guitar

Saturday, December 15, 2012

my thoughts on.... 'Apartment 143'

Good lord, where do I begin? First off, I really dig the 'found footage' movies that are out there. There have been a few pieces of garbage, but overall, they're pretty solid. 'Apartment 143' was suggested to me by a friend and falls vaguely into the 'found footage' sub-genre. Secondly, It was billed as a 'Paranormal Activity', but with the action those films were missing. Sadly, it was missing all the good stuff from those films and the action they were talking about was horrible.... at best. It showed its low budget shortcomings loud and clear. I've seen countless films that had little to no budget that have pulled off amazing things. This one obviously had some money behind it, but they must have spent it on milky white contacts, instead of a good script or decent actors. Everything felt stiff. It was like watching paint drying on cardboard. This movie was really just an exercise in trying to cash in on a proven sub-genre. The only really new things it brought to the table were.... nothing.

The plot was centered around a guy and his two kids that moved to an apartment. The house they used to live in became haunted after his wife (the kids mother) died suddenly. However, once they moved.... the spirt moved with them. So, they got involved with a paranormal investagative team and soon the team was hunting ghosts. There's some vague sub-plot about murder and possilbe incest. None of it ever really goes anywhere. There is some backstory with the investagators that is bland and unfinished. That's about it. Good guys win.... or do they?

All in all, this movie was a turd. Maybe I missed the hidden nuggets of candy that were wedged in the middle of the movie? Maybe I was not in the right mindset to watch a movie of this type? Maybe it just sucked? I think so. I didn't care about the characters. I lost interest in the movie after about 20 minutes in. The special effects were poor. They location was okay, but there are tons of apartments out there that are kind of creepy. And to top everthing off, there's a little 'surprise' at the end. I only wish I'd turned it off before that part happened. It made an already terrible movie, that much worse.

I think what the reviewer must have missed about the difference between this movie and the 'PA' films was the stuff you didn't see. I hear that said a lot about movies and films that rely on your brain over CGI. 'PA' is so successful because it plays on our fears and only we know what those fears are. So, if you have a fear of spirits or the things that go bump in the night, then you can relate to the films. And since you never really see what's haunting the characters in the film, then you can make that horror anything you want. 'Apartment 143' laid all its card on the table and left you with no room to imagine the horror within. Because what you are afraid of in your mind is FAR scarier than anything a guy behind a computer can create. But if you are someone that has to SEE the scary parts, the maybe 'Grave Encounters' is more for you. It falls into the same sub-genre as 'Apartment 143 and the 'PA' films. It also shows you the stuff you're scared of. The big difference between 'Apartment 143' and 'Grave Encounters' is, the ghosts in 'GE' are unique and actually quite frightening. There's suspense and terror there. 'Apartment 143' just re-hashed every ghostly cliche you've ever seen. Another one that is in the same boat is 'Paranormal Entity'. It's really just a 'PA' knock-off, but it succeeds on so many more levelas that 'Apartment 143'. It feels like something you've seen before, but it still creates tension and horror. I'd recommend that one over this one any day of the week. That's it.... plain and simple. 'Apartment 143' sucked.

All in all, I give 'Apartment 143' a 1 out of 5 star rating. It's a ghost story with no real scares and no re-watchability. If you decide to watch it, keep your expectations low and you bottle of Jack Daniels even closer.

Other films that 'Apartment 143' wanted to be like: 'Paranormal Activity' 1 through 4, 'Grave Encounters' and 'Paranormal Entitiy'

Friday, December 14, 2012

I'm not dead yet! ....a BRAND NEW episode of 'The Sunshine Happy Kpants Hour' is uploaded and ready!

The 42nd episode of 'The Sunshine Happy Kpants Hour' is uploaded and now available through iTunes, Talkshoe and streaming LIVE right here!

I'm BACK! This episode is kind of a re-boot. In the episode I explain what the heck is going on, have William S. Burroughs take the mic and some background info on the music. It's a big one. ENJOY!

Songs played this week:

1) The Remedy by Abandoned Pools

2) Red Wine by Alcohol Funnycar

3) 99 Red Balloons by Angry Salad

4) Drugs by Ammonia

5) City Song by Animal Bag

6) Anything For You by Another Girl

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

not quite dead yet....?

If any of you are still checking this blog out, it may not be dead just yet. I'm in the process of trying to jumpstart my creative life after taking a big break. Moving, a new job, etc. killed all of my time. I'm working on making things happen again.... so keep you eyes pealed.... things may get posted here soon! Thanks!