my brief thoughts on.... 'The Human Centipede (First Sequence)'

if you scroll down this page a bit, you'll find two reviews.... one for the 'August Underground' trilogy and one for 'Srpski Film aka A Serbian Film'.... if you have convinced yourself, based on what you've heard, that this movie is the most disturbing movie you'll see this year.... think again.... those two movies make this one look like a Disney take on 'Frankenstein'.... granted, Tom Six the director, created a very disturbing concept and pulled it off with amazing results.... and i can say that i've NEVER seen anything like this movie.... and the concept is nothing that i've ever considered in my wildest dilusions.... so hats off to him for making something that's not a remake or reboot.... it's proof that all the ideas aren't used up....

if you don't know about this movie.... the story involves two young women who run out of gas on the way out to party.... they go for help and end up at a home where the kind man inside lets them inside to use the phone.... instead, he drugs them and next thing they know, they're in his basement and being told that they're going to be turned into a giant centipede.... there's another man in the room with them, but he's soon killed as he just doesn't 'fit' with the others.... soon an Asian man is kidnapped and brought into the basement too.... he doesn't speak any english.... but that doesn't stop the kind man, who turns out to be a mad doctor of sorts, from explaining his diabolical plan.... he plans on attaching each one of them ass to mouth in a series where they create a centipede like creature with one digestive system.... as you can imagine, the first time the first link in the centipede has to, um, poop.... things get real.... and the second person in the group puts on an amazing performance that will make you as uncomfortable as you can possibly be during a movie.... and nothing is shown, it's all implied.... the rest just goes down hill from there....
they say that Tom Six has intended this to be a trilogy, with the next movie being 'The Human Centipede (Full Sequence)'.... i don't know if he can carry off two more movies, because this first one is a stretch.... but i'll admit he pulls it off and kept me interested the whole time.... and the man who plays the doctor, Dieter Laser, puts on an amazing performance that deserves a cult following.... he steals the show from the 3 part human centipede.... and it's worth it just to see him act.... i think if you can overcome your fear that's been created by over the top critics, you might just enjoy this little roller coaster of a ride.... granted, you can't unthink the things this movie makes you think.... as so much is implied and subtly hidden that it's so much worse because it's left up to your imagination.... and that's so much more powerful than any special FX that could have been created.... it's currently available OnDemand from Netflix or to rent as well.... think it over, it's something i don't regret in any way.... and i don't think you will either.... unless you have a weak stomach. (3 out of 5 stars.)

if you like this, watch: a daisy chain porno or 'The Human Sexipede (First Sequence)' (the XXX parody movie).... they're the closest things i can think of to sort of match up with this movie

my brief thoughts on.... 'The Prowler'

this is a movie i've been hearing about for a long time.... Joesph Zito directed and Tom Savini did the special effects.... it's considered to be some of the best work Savini has ever done.... and it is pretty impressive.... especially based on when thi was released.... this movie, in some circles, it's considered a classic of the slasher genre.... not too mention it was released in 1980, the beginning of the golden era of the genre.... it was right when they came up with the formula.... you take a person who's wronged in some way.... they have a screw loose.... they find some kind of costume, mask or outfit and they go on a killing spree.... perhaps starting with the trigger of their rage, but then going off the deep end and they continue to kill....

in this movie, the story begins in 1945 with a woman breaking up with a G.I. via a hand written letter.... her name was Rosemary.... on the night of the Graduation Dance, Rosemary and her boyfriend go out to a secluded area where they are promptly killed by a man in an army uniform.... presumebly the ex of Rosemary.... fast forward to 1980.... the first Graduation Dance is being held since that night.... some people are wary of holding it due to what happened the last time.... but it goes forward.... meanwhile the sheriff heads off to a fishing trip, leaving only the deputy on duty for the entire town.... of course, the killer returns and people start to die.... that's as much as i'll reveal....
all in all, not a bad entry in to the genre.... i gave it 3 out of 5 stars for it's overall feel and execution.... (no pun intended).... the ending was a bit questionable.... but the special effects, the main bad guy and the hero and his girl are all likable and the movie is worth it just for those things.... one funny thing about this was the promoting of the actor Lawrence Tierney.... most of you would know him as 'Joe' from 'Reservoir Dogs'.... but as far as his role in this movie....? you see him in a long shot in a window watching the dorms.... and then he grabs a girl as she runs away from the killer.... that's it. hardly a starring role.... anyway.... long story short.... this is worth your time if you like slasher flicks.... it's above average and should be checked off your list at some point.... then make the decision for yourself about it's classic status....

if you dig this, you may also enjoy: 'My Bloody Valentine' (1981), 'Friday the 13th' (1980) and 'Madman'

my thoughts on.... 'I Spit On Your Grave aka Day Of The Woman'

first off, i just have to clarify one stupid point.... the cover of the DVD used here is NOWHERE to be seen in the movie....! it's a stock shot to sell the movie based on a sexy half naked woman.... which actually kind of defeats the purpose of what the director was trying so hard to make the focus of the movie.... the power of a woman bent on revenge.... not how sexy she looks with a knife.... but that's marketing for you.

Roger Ebert and the late Gene Siskel both felt that this was the worst kind of garbage to be ever put on the screen.... and the extra features boast their entire reviews for you to read.... i guess in a way it's kind of a badge of honor.... it also shows a list of the cast, producer and director's filmographies and for most of them, this was the only movie they ever made.... it ruined some careers.... have i peaked your interest yet....? and i haven't even scratched the surface.... this movie also has the dubious honor of having the longest gang rape sequence in movie history.... granted, it's not over 30 minutes of the poor woman being raped over and over again by the 4 evil men.... it's more of a chase, rape, chase, rape situation.... which makes it no less abhorrent.... it actually makes it that much worse in my opinion.... because every time you think that our heroine is safe, the men re-appear and do more horrific things to her.... and Camille Keaton (great grand daughter of of Buster Keaton) makes it so believable that you almost feel like you're watching a snuff film in the making.... the only other rape scene that ever bothered me more was the 9 minute unflinching rape scene in 'Irreversible'.... that one still wins the prize for most disgusting and hard to watch.... (i dare you to watch that film and not feel sick by the end.... it's purposely designed to make you ill.)

now let's take a short break from everything and talk about the plot.... a woman from New York heads out to a cabin on a lake to write her first novel.... the townsfolk all seem extremely nice.... too nice.... and over time they become increasingly more and more involved in her life and she soon realizes that perhaps it's not kindness on their minds.... one day while sunning herself in her canoe, two of the men drag her and the canoe to a remote location where they meet up with the other two men who proceed to chase, taunt, rape and brutalize her.... once it's finally over, they leave her for dead.... but what they didn't realize is that she survived the attack and for the next two weeks begins to plot her revenge.... and boy does she exact an eye for an eye.... okay.... so we've covered some of the major points of this movie, but what we haven't discussed was the director's intentions and why he made the movie in the first place.... Meir Zarchi set out to make a movie about the power of a woman.... he even called it 'Day Of The Woman' because of this.... but the studio felt that it wasn't punchy enough.... they wanted something that would sell tickets, thus 'I Spit On Your Grave'.... and as far as this movie goes.... i have to admit, despite my sickness with the subject matter of rape, i understand the point he was trying to make.... perhaps he didn't go about it in the right way....? who's to say....? ultimately the woman did hold all the power.... and she knew how to weild it.... her biggest weapon being the power of sex itself.... (and some choice weapons, including a gun a knife, some rope and a speedboat).... she used her own body and lure to get the men to trust her so she could in turn destroy them.... why didn't she call the police....? why didn't she just leave after it happened so it didn't possibly happen again....? it seems that she felt like the only real justice had to be carried out by herself and no one else.... this was her way of regaining her power as a woman.... and to prove that no man had control over her or her body....

as a movie, it is 100% 70's low budget horror/thriller.... the production values are fairly low and the film itself doesn't have too difficult of a plot.... however, it was so influencial that it started a wave of rape/revenge movies.... yet another way for Hollywood to cash in on something over the top and that caught the media's eye and pervert it into a cash cow.... it's slow in some places, but never dull.... the acting is above par.... especially Camille Keaton.... i can't say that i hated it.... but i find rape disgusting and very difficult to watch, even if it's just pretend on a movie screen.... so all in all it earned 3 out of 5 stars for me.... however, i knew a lot about it going into it, so i knew what to expect.... that's part of the reason i'd been putting it off for years.... i'd seen some of it's offspring in my youth and just never found them too appealing.... granted, i enjoy a good revenge movie as much as the next guy.... but let's leave the rape out of it.... however, i'll make an exception in the case of this movie and 'Irreversible'.... as it served a purpose and there was an end to the means.... does that make it right or does that make the actions of the women in the film right....? no.... but it gives the power back to those who've lived through something like this and never had the chance to exact their pound of flesh.

if you enjoy this: just throw a rock at a wall of 70's movies and you'll hit two more movies that are very similar to this one.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Waiting For Guffman'

i've already seen this movie.... but i enjoyed it and decided to watch it again since it was OnDemand.... if you haven't seen it, it's worth watching at least once.... Christopher Guest always has a biting bit of satire on a certain segment of society.... in this one he targets small town theater.... and in some way, theater in general.... granted it's not nearly as classic as 'Hamlet 2'.... but what is....? this still received high reviews from me for just how quaintly funny it is.... there's something sweet about it.... it's not mean spirited in any way.... and is very enjoyable....

a flamboyant director begins to work on a plan on the history of the small town where he's located.... and they learn that a famous man named, Guffman, would be coming to see the show and that it could possibly make it to Broadway.... so they put on the best show that they possibly can.... and what happends next....? you'll just have to watch it to find out.... damn it.if you like your comedies subtle and funny.... this is one you should see.... 4 out of 5 stars.... a 'classic' in it's own right.... and one of the better of Christopher Guests movies.... throw it in the queue.... what have you got to lose....?

if you like this, check out: 'A Mighty Wind', 'Best In Show' and 'This Is Spinal Tap'

my brief thoughts on.... 'It's Alive' (1974)

Netflix summary of this reads that it's full of "giggles and gore".... i found no giggles and no gore.... as a matter of fact it's rated PG....! it's kind of dull, dated and slow.... the baby was done fairly well, but that was about it.... the only saving grace of this movie was the last line.... otherwise it wasn't really worth the time to invest in it....

a mutant baby is born.... kills all the doctors and nurses in the birthing room.... escapes.... goes on a killing spree.... the entire police force are out looking for the baby mutant.... things happen and it ends....2 out of 5 stars.... the extra star is strictly for the final line of dialouge.... otherwise not worth the time.

this movie has sequels and a remake, if you're interested: 'It's Alive 2: It Lives Again', 'It's Alive 3: Island of the Alive' and 'It's Alive' (2008)

my brief thoughts on.... 'Mother's Day' (1980)

this is a Troma Team release, so you already know what you're getting.... violence, nudity and a low budget.... and that's exactly what this has to offer ie: the usual 80's horror movie themes.... it's nothing new or special.... it came about as part of the trend of making movies based around holiday themes.... although, truth be told, this movie DOES NOT take place on Mother's Day.... not that it really matters.... i have to admit i was enthralled with this movie.... i'm not sure why.... i guess i'm just a sucker for the cheesy 80's horror....

3 former college roomates go on a camping trip and get kidnapped by a couple of psycho hillbillies who love their mother.... they torture the women, but eventually the women escape and have their revenge.... and that's about it....not a hard sell for fans of the genre.... but still only a 2 out of 5 star attempt.... the ending was piss poor.... and could have been much better.... however, it was just an example of what the 80's was.... there are a slew of these types of movies out there that are easy to find and are all about the same.... so if you're into that kind of thing.... this may be the movie for you.

other examples: 'My Bloody Valentine' (1981), 'April Fool's Day' (1986) and of course, 'Friday the 13th' (1980)

my thoughts on.... 'Meat Market' and 'Meat Market 2'

bad movies are bad movies.... low budget movies are low budget movies.... and many times the two are usually tied together.... in this case, the rule is not the rule.... granted this movie is shot on a home video camera and the production values are not great, but you can feel that this director had the passion for the project and it shone through the limitations of his budget.... and that goes a long way.... if you believe in something enough, go for it.... live the dream.... these movies have a lot going for them.... there are some parts that are a bit lame and confusing.... but you take the little bit of bad to overcome the overall good.... but if you do decide to invest the time in these movies, be warned they are VERY low budget.... the acting isn't great and the special effects are pretty poor....

the running story involves the take over of society by zombies.... pretty basic.... and our main characters are just struggling to survive the apocalypse as best the can.... and along the way they gather up some other survivors who are also sharing the same goal.... throughout the story we find out that the zombies were created because of a government experiment that was rushed along involving tiny nanobytes (i think that's what they were called.).... we also find out the three of the suvivors that join our heros are vampires who're out for the same goal of destroying the zombies, because they're taking up all of their food supply and i guess zombie blood just tastes gross.... at the end of the first film, there's a showdown and we're left with a bit of a cliffhanger.... as the second movie opens.... it's a year later and the plague just keeps getting worse.... they soon find a commune type area where a group is trying to rebuild society, in the worst way possible.... almost in a third reich kind of way.... and the rest goes on from there.... i don't want to spoil the ending, but it feels pretty fresh even though the director borrows heavily from other zombie classics....
there are plenty of WTF moments in the movie.... and some obvious attempts to shock for shocks sake and to have nudity just to have nudity.... but if you can see beyond that and the low quality, it's a very engrossing set of movies.... i found myself caring about the characters and rooting for them to succeed.... not to mention, i can say i saw this directors first movies before he became famous.... (if that should ever happend.).... overall, i really enjoyed the time i spent in his world of zombies and vampires....

3 out of 5 stars for both.... i can't go much higher because there were some aspects that were very unecessary.... and the 2nd movie doesn't hold up the high standards of the first.... at least not the whole way through.... regardless, i recommend this for someone who wants a fresh feeling zombie flick and has the time to watch them.... they're free to watch on Netflix OnDemand.... but you MUST have an open mind if you're going to view these.... it's just that simple.

if you like this, check out: 'Shatter Dead', 'Dance of the Dead' and 'Undead'

my thoughts on.... 'The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day'

before i even start this review.... what in the hell happened to Sean Patrick Flanery....?!?! he looks NOTHING like he did in the first film.... i kept thinking they just couldn't get him back for the sequel so they replaced him with someone who looked sort of like him.... but they didn't....! it was actually him....! and i didn't realize it until the credits rolled and i saw his name at the top.... so i ask again.... what in the hell happened to him that made him look so differently....?

so onto the review.....

i remember the first time i saw 'The Boondock Saints' and how cool i thought it was.... it was a good little movie with some cool gunfights, some cool characters and a fairly interesting storyline.... it had the makings of a cult classic.... but then nothing happened after that.... Troy Duffy (Director, Writer, Actor, etc) just kind of disappeared.... then i heard of a documentary called, 'Overnight'.... a fascinating look at someone's almost overnight rise to fame.... and how he handles it.... and he's really kind of a jerk.... he starts to believe his own hype and the more he tries to make 'The Boondock Saints II' the less likely it seems to be that it'll ever happen.... and that's kind of where we're all left.... and Troy Duffy just sits in limbo with no other projects and he drifts off into no where land....

fast forward 10 years later.... and it's finally here.... 'The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day'.... and i got excited to see where the characters have been all this time.... and as i sat down to watch it, i was instantly thrown back into the characters, the settings and the film itself and was reminded why i loved the first one to begin with.... and as the movie went on, there wasn't much new to see.... but i don't think Mr. Duffy was out to break new ground.... i think he just wanted to finish what he started.... and at that, he succeeded.
the saints have moved to Ireland and live on a sheep farm with their father and have been hiding out all these years from the law.... you might say they were on the "lamb" (yuck yuck).... when suddenly they get wind of a copycat killer back in their hometown who's trying to call them out by copying their style of killing, but on a priest.... this causes the boys to go back home ready to right the wrong and kill everyone involved that gets in their way.... of course during the trip, we run into all the old cast of characters.... including some new ones that have a familiar feel.... it's like going back home again and meeting some new friends and seeing some of the old ones.... it was comfortable....

it's not the original, but i really enjoyed it.... i was a little let down by the ending and could have used a strong finale.... however, i'm not Troy Duffy and these aren't my characters.... it'll be a part of my collection and i'm sure i'll have a Boondock Saints marathon and watch them back to back.... i'm not really sure i would want to see a 3 installment.... i think it's gone about as far as it can go.... so what did i think overall....? i'll be generous and give it 4 out of 5 stars (the same rating i gave the 1st movie).... because it's exactly what i wanted it to be.... something like the first movie, but something different.... it was like that new pair of shoes that's replacing the exact same pair of ones you had before.... they feel the same in ways, but they're not nearly as comfortable.... however, you know in time they'll be just as comfortable as the old ones you just need to give it time....

if you liked the first movie at all, i recommened you see the sequel.... end of story.

if you enjoyed this movie, also watch: 'The Boondock Saints', 'Equilibrium' and 'The Big Hit'

my thoughts on.... 'The Hangover'

hype can make or break a movie.... and in most cases it tends to break it.... but every so often a movie lives up to the hype and it's well deserved.... with 'The Hangover', i don't know that i'd say it lived up to the hype.... but it was a pretty funny movie and worth watching once.... i mean i laughed out loud a couple of times and found myself smiling at quite a few spots.... was it the best comedy of the year....? nah.... but it wasn't the worst....

so you take 4 guys and put them in Vegas for a bachelor party and fill them with booze and what do you get....? 1 and a half hours of confusion and comedy.... three of the guys lose the 4th guy and end up with a baby in the closet, a tiger in the bathroom, a missing tooth and a whole lot of unanswered questions as they can't remember what happened the night before.... not one thing.... and that's the plot in a nutshell.... it's the guys putting together the last nights events as you join in and learn as they learn.... it's well put together and fairly original.... but i wouldn't recommend watching 'Bachelor Party' the same night.... (the Tom Hanks movie.)
i'll give just about any movie a shot.... and hype or no hype, every movie deserves some kind of an audience.... i mean, someone put a lot of time, energy and love into making it.... so why shouldn't at least a few people watch it, right....? this movie felt fairly fresh.... although i think with any other cast it might not have been nearly as enjoyable.... you almost needed smaller caliber actors to make it more believable.... plus you get Mike Tyson singing Phil Collins.... what more could you want....?

i'd give this a solid 3 out of 5 stars.... and would probably watch it again.... it's worth a second or third viewing and i think it will hold up to the test of time.... i would recommended it to anyone who likes their comedy with a dose of gross and a tad bit of screwball-ness.... however, you might think twice about your next plan to go on a bender....

if you liked this movie, check out: 'Bachelor Party', 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' and 'Out Cold'