my thoughts on.... 'Machete' (2010)

It's been awhile since I posted a review, but things have been hectic with school and I've been sick.... possibly more on that in another post. That being said, I continue my 'Grindhouse' film festival with the Robert Rodriguez opus 'Machete'. I think this is the first starring vehicle for Danny Trejo and after watching 'Machete', I can see why he doesn't generally carry a film all by himself. It's not that he's bad in it or un-charasmatic, it's just that he's more of a character actor than a leading man. (sorry Danny.... don't hurt me.) [Side note: If you want to see one of my favorite roles for Danny Trejo, check out his portrayal of the young Michael Myers caretaker in Rob Zombie's 'Halloween'. He is spot on perfect in that role.] He does, however, sell the character of a former federale that has been forced into a situation he doesn't want to be in. He may not be the tallest guy in the world, but what he lacks in size.... he makes up for in attitude. He is such a menacing presance when he wants to be. He is a guy you wouldn't want to meet in a dark ally, especially if he's packing some sort of a weapon. What was a bit of a shame was that the rest of the cast just wasn't as strong as Danny was. Especially Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal and Lindsay Lohan, they were just so dull and uninspired. I don't understand their appeal and no matter how much I tried, they just kept drawing focus away from the movie and not in a good way. On the flip side of that, Don Johnson, Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin stole the show. I only wish that Cheech couldn've done more double shotgun wielding action throughout the flick, he was pretty badass.

The plot of this shakes out pretty much like the 'faux' trailer from the original 'Grindhouse' film. Robert Rodriguez actually used the original footage to tie it all togther and then, of course, added a whole lot of new stuff. I'd say that he got about 90% of the original actors from the trailer to make the final film. Anyway, Danny plays a man nicknamed 'Machete'. He's a former federale from Mexico who's life was destroyed by a very overweight and akward Steven Seagal. Fast-forward a few years and we find that America is at war with the illegals pouring over the border from Mexico. We establish several characters that will tie in directly with Machete's primary plot. We have Jessica Alba's Mexican girl gone illegal alien hunter. Michelle Rodriguez's taco stand vendor/illegal alien warrior. Don Johnson's over the top border patrol agent gone bad. And of course, Danny's relative and priest Cheech Marin. Danny is hired by Jeff Fahey to kill Robert DeNiro's politician character, but is double crossed. He becomes a man hunted, but he vows to get back at those who wronged him. The rest of the film is an all out, over the top action flick for those who love their films big and silly.

The thing that I love and hate about Robert Rodriguez movies are the fact that he pumps them out so quickly and with such reckless abandon. He does it in such a way that he doesn't have time to second guess if his ideas are original and fun or over the top and stupid. That is left up to the viewer to decide in the end. I know that he's capable of amazing things, we've all seen the 'El Mariaci' trilogy or 'Sin City' right? He has skills. He just gets so wrapped up in trying to make every single idea that he has into a movie that he loses sight of quality vs. quantity. I think he needs to learn that sometimes less is more. Take his movie 'Sharkboy and Lava Girl in 3D', this was a movie that was literally written because of a dream that his kid had. He made an entire movie based on the imagination of a child, no filter. I think this is charming and sweet and could have been something pretty keen, but instead.... he just spit it out at top speed and ended up with a big turd of a movie. A really big turd.

All in all, I think 'Machete' suffered a bit of Rodriguez-itis. It was put out as an after thought to a one off faux trailer that people loved and he felt obligated to make the full feature. With a bit more time, I think he could have tweaked this to be legendary. I still feel it deserves 4 out of 5 stars for it's ridiculous campiness and bloody action. I think he also deserves a lot of credit for calling in a bunch of favors to get a pretty big cast of stars. I also want to thank him for giving a character actor the chance to shine in a leading role and he couldn't have picked a nicer guy to give that chance. Who doesn't love Danny Trejo? So if you're bored and want to check out on real life for an hour and a half, this is THE film to watch. If you're looking for a film with minimal death's caused by lowrider's and fat Steven Seagal portrayal's of Mexican bad guys, than you should probably stay away from 'Machete'. Now let's see if Robert sticks with his promise at the end of this to make 'Machete Kills' and 'Machete Kills Again'. If I know him like I think I know him, he's already dreaming up the storylines and will have them both out before the end of 2013.

If you like this, check out: 'Planet Terror', 'Death Proof' and 'Hobo With A Shotgun'

my thoughts on.... 'Hobo With A Shotgun'

4 years and 3 days ago, a film was released that proved to be one of the best movie going experiences that I've ever had. The film was 'Grindhouse'. It was a fun ride that lasted several hours and the entire audience was involved, not something that is seen too often these days. One of the fun little side effects of that film was the 'faux' trailers that were at the beginning and middle of the films. Robert Rodriguez's trailer for 'Machete' has already been made into a full length movie and released to some pretty good reviews. One of the other trailers was a fan-made one that only played in certain cities.... it was called 'Hobo With A Shotgun'.

It was a sweet little piece of heaven written and directed by a gentleman named, Jason Eisener. Due to the reception of this 2 minute opus, Mr. Eisener was given the greenlight to make a full length version. I had the pleasure of seeing it last night and I have to say, I loved it! I can't think of the last time I saw a Rutger Hauer movie that I enjoyed. I also wasn't sure that this concept could carry a full one and a half hours and still be worthwhile.... I was wrong.

Today it seems like studios are cranking out remakes and reboots and very little original material. And when it is original, it's not always 'original' if you know what I mean? That's what made 'Hobo With A Shotgun' so damn fun! Not only was it original, but it was truly an original concept and one that was so incredibly simple that it was genius. It just proves the point that there are new ideas still out there in Hollywood and you don't have to create the next 'Star Wars' saga to make a good piece of cinema. What I mean is that this is a film, literally, about a hobo with a shotgun. No more, no less. You don't have to find a deeper meaning, although I think there is one here.... you can just sit back, eat some popcorn, root for the vigilante and check your brain at the door. You get as much or as little out of this film as you want. It's not begging for your approval, it just is what it is. It's chock full of blood, guts, gore, violence, comedy, one-liners, 70's style cheese, pretty ladies, nasty villans, gritty cinematography, big guns and a hero for the new age. I may be heaping way too much praise on something so basic, but I had so much fun watching this from the get-go that I can't help but want to pass the joy along to anyone else who'll listen. This film is an example of why I love film and why I love to write about film.

The plot? Read on....

An unamed hobo wanders into town on a railroad car. What he finds is a town in ruins. The law is currupt, criminals are everywhere, money is scarce, people are willing to do anything for a dollar and there is little to no hope of a future. The few people that still have a good heart are forced to do terrible things or are so afraid of the bad guys that they have to hide. Despite all of this depression and gloom, our hero only wants to get enough money to buy a lawnmower and make a decent living cutting peoples grass. After he wittnesses one too many violent crimes, he decides that he's had enough and he has to step in. So while being held up at a pawn shop, he takes down a shotgun off the wall (that he eventually pays for) and proceeds to blow away the three criminals that are robbing the place. From this point forward, he's out to clean up the town one shell at a time. Along the bloody path towards redemption, he meets a good hearted prostitute and she befriends him. Meanwhile, the head villan turns the entire town against him by having them all go out to kill the hobo.... not just the one hobo, but all the hobo's, just in case. Things go from bad to worse as two hired killers get involved and things turn into a bloody battle for justice. What happens in the end? You'll have to find out for yourself! Watch, 'Hobo With A Shotgun'.... Rated R.

If you decided to delve into this film, think 'Mad Max' meets 'Death Wish'. Rutger Hauer turns up the intensity factor in this film.... all the way to 11. As a matter of fact, this entire film is at an 11, the whole time. It starts out with a 5 minute intro that lulls you into a comfortable place, but then all hell breaks loose and it doesn't let up for another hour and a half. I felt exhausted by the time it ended, but in a 'cigarette after sex' kind of way. Something that you may be thinking by the simple plot is that this can't have a good script, you would be wrong. I don't know how Jason was able to pull something so smart out of something so basic, but he does. I also figured that the acting would be sub-par since this is a kind of throwback to a simple time, I was wrong there too. Everyone in this film turns in a quality performance. It's as good as anything that you'll see in a "serious" film. This might just mark the return of Rutger Hauer and the rise of Molly Dunsworth. I can only hope that the critical reviews of this film are as glowing as mine, however I kind of doubt that everyone will see this the way I did. Hell, maybe you won't even agree with me about this. I just hope that if you do watch this little gem, please have an open mind and a clear head.... that's all I ask. Also, make sure you have a strong stomach, this has some VERY graphic content. Lots of blood and things being broken or ripped off of bodies. That's about all I have to say, I guess. Let me just sum this review up by saying that I give this a rare 5 out of 5 star rating. It deserves nothing less than that and I cannot wait to see what Jason Eisener has coming out next. That and I want to see where this takes Rutger Hauer. Even if neither of them do anything else for the rest of their lives after 'Hobo With A Shotgun', this film will stand as a testament to all that is right with filmaking and all that is wrong with the world.

Since there are no other films that I want to relate to this, I'll leave you with the classic speech from this film:
Hobo: [to a group of newborn babies] "I used to be like you. A long time ago. All brand new and perfect. No mistakes, no regrets. People look at you and think of how wonderful your future will be. They want you to be something special, like a doctor, or a lawyer. I hate to tell you this, but if you grow up here, you're more likely to wind up selling your bodies on the streets, or shooting dope from dirty needles in a bus stop. And if you're successful, you'll make money selling junk to crackheads. And don't think twice about killing someone's wife, because you won't even know it's wrong in the first place. Maybe... you'll end up like me. A hobo with a shotgun."

Side note: This film has officially been added to my list as one of my top 50 films of all time. Nuff' said.