Monday, October 11, 2010

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Where the Wild Things Are'

this may get me some serious hate mail.... but i have to speak my mind.

'Where the Wild Things Are' was one of my favorite books as a child.... it sparked my interest in writing.... and it was the first script i ever wrote.... as i transposed it for the stage and it was put on at the local library.... i was a child at the time.... so you can see that i loved this story and was curious to see how Spike Jonze would bring it to the screen.... i got excited when i started seeing the stills.... and the reviews were all good.... so i got even more excited.... tonight i saw the movie.

this movie was depressing.... dark.... the soundtrack was done by Karen O and she was the wrong choice, the WRONG choice.... this was not a movie for kids.... not a movie for adults.... it was a big waste of money.... the boy who played Max was unlikeable and i hated the fact that he took such a beloved character and made him into a terrible brat with little to no redeeming qualities.... sure the wild things looked amazing.... but if you don't care about the main character and the way the movie was put together just makes me not care how good they looked.... i just kept hoping the movie would get better.... and the joy that i had with the book as a child would somehow leap off the screen, it never happened.... as a matter of fact, i just kept wanting it to end.... i'm sorry to all of you who felt this was a wonderful movie.... i just think that Spike Jonze missed the mark by a mile.... and turned the book into a sour tasting hateful lemon....
1 out of 5 stars.... and i don't recommend this to anyone.... i feel the loss of a wonderful childhood memory thanks to Mr. Jonze and his whiny, bratty, hateful, ADHD Max.... his dark and depressing storytelling.... and the artsy fartsy un-childlike background music by Miss Karen O.... oh and my kids didn't like it either.

don't watch this movie.... just read the book and leave it at that

Sunday, October 10, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'I Need That Record!'

how many of you have ever set foot in an independent record store....? i'm guessing most of you buy online, .mp3 or from a "big box store".... am i right....? well, you're missing out.... it's not just a shopping trip.... it's an experience.... something that you can't achieve anywhere else.... but sadly they're dying off.... one by one they close down or get run out of business by bigger and larger places that they just can't compete with.... so if there is still one left in your town, go now before you can't go ever again.... that's what this wonderful love letter of a documentary is about.... and, me personally, having worked at and managed a real record store for 6 years this is something near and dear to my heart.... and the store i worked at, Val's Halla Records in Oak Park, IL, was forced out of their original locaion.... but has moved and is still alive.... thank god for that.... because i loved every minute of my time that i worked there.... and learned more in those 6 years about people, music and life than any other place i've ever worked.... hell, i learned more than in my everyday life.... or school....! i can't explain it to you.... but if you're a music lover or junkie, a record store is your dream location to be.... i know it was for me....
this is a documentary so again there isn't really a plot.... more of a narrative about the current state of the indie store and the how's and why's of what's killing them off.... it's very in depth and pulls no punches.... it also touches on the slow demise of the record industry and the rise of the internet in making both regular and indie music easy to find and buy for everyone.... but part of the joy of the record store was having to search for that one thing that you've been looking for.... if you can just get whatever, whenever where is the fun in that....? it makes collecting boring.... granted, you can more than likely find everything you've ever wanted.... but true collectors want the thrill of the hunt.... the joy of the find and that's it.... this documentary was bittersweet and made me realize that the trend of indie stores is happening here just as much as anywhere else.... and it's not just record stores, but anything owned by someone, not some corporation.... i don't expect that i can save the world or the independent retailers and i doubt this documentary can either.... but it stands as a record (no pun intended) of a soon to be extinct kind of place to go.... a sad reminder of where we've gone as a country.... it's on Netflix OnDemand and i highly recommend it.... 4 out of 5 stars....

to all those who own their own business, no matter what it is, i wish you all the best and commend you for living your dream.... godspeed to you all.

don't watch anything after this.... grab a phonebook and visit your local independent retailers

my very brief thoughts on.... 'The Morgue'

imagine you're a screenwriter.... you've got a great idea for a movie.... so you write a script.... you get the money to get it produced.... you get not one, but TWO directors for it.... you get one name star.... and you make your dream movie.... your dream has now come true.... and that brilliant idea that started it all is now on celluloid for all the world to marvel at too.... amazing.

too bad it sucks.

this movie deserves less than 1 star, but that's not possible on Netflix.... and to be honest, i barely made it through this mess of a movie.... the only reason i even added it to the queue and was so quick to watch it was because of the fact that Heather Donahue (The Blair Witch Project) was getting top billing....! i couldn't wait to see her again.... little did i know what i was really in for.... good lord.... she only had about 20 minutes of screen time.... maybe total.... and i honestly i didn't care about any of the characters in this movie.... not even hers.... not even a little bit.... and what's the point of a horror movie or any movie if you don't give a rats ass about the characters involved....? i was hoping that maybe i'd get lucky, after about 15 minutes of the movie, that something would go drastically wrong at Netflix and i'd never be able to finish it.... oh well, that never happened....
here's the genius plot: a girl works at a morgue with only one other person, the nightwatchman. a family of 3 run out of gas and show up. two guys, who've been in an accident, show up. we keep getting flashbacks about a mortician who killed himself and has come back for his revenge. no one is safe. everything gets confusing and horribly edited. people start dying off one by one as the group tries to find a way to escape. but where's the nightwatchman? he's not the killer, but he's strangely missing and aloof. then the twist at the end happens. OOOO a twist.

do not waste one minute of your time to watch this.... stay away.... the twist is pulled off horribly.... it's kind of confusing at first.... and the script and editing job don't help things much.... honestly, who gives a damn anyway....? just thank god it's over.... i'm not demanding my time back.... i at least got to see Heather for awhile.... and she does so few movies it was nice.... but other than that.... garbage on film.... i have no idea why this was even made....? it should have stayed a script on someone's coffee table.... safe from the world.... anyway.... at least i can warn you.... don't even hope for the bad/good factor.... this is just bad/bad/bad.... 1 out of 5 stars, in case you didn't get that from my earlier comment.

in closing, it's like having your teeth pulled really slowly while under a mild sedation that causes things to be blurry.... but you still feel every pinch, pull and tug.... and your dentist is Stevie Wonder. got it....?

watch ANYTHING else.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'National Geographic - Killer Wave: Power of the Tsunami'

ever since the Tsunami of 2004 in Sri Lanka, i've been intrigued by them.... something that disturbs me in a lot of ways as i have a fear of drowning.... yet something i will never have to deal with living in Colorado.... but the whole concept and science behind it is crazy.... the fact that an underground earthquake can set off a chain reaction that causes giant waves that can take out whole cities, villages and towns.... and i think the other thing that increased the interest was the mass amount of footage from the one in 2004.... because any that had occured before that was before the dawn of cell phone cameras, digital video recorders, etc.... there's just so many ways to get coverage on a disaster these days it's amazing.... it's almost like there's nothing that the average viewer can't see.... not just Tsunami's.... but anything....
i came across this National Geographic special by accident and didn't realize that it was produced before the Sri Lanka disaster.... so the footage was limited to some fascinating old school news footage and camera shots.... also a lot of paintings from ones back long before there ever was a way to photographically catch any of this.... it covers the history and science of the Tsunami.... but not in the great detail i was hoping for.... it seemed like it was designed for grade schoolers to learn the basics.... i guess i just expected more from it.... there's nothing really new to learn here.... and that's why i only gave it 2 out of 5 stars.... nothing to write home about.

if you want to see what a Tsunami truly can do, just look up Sri Lanka 2004 Tsunami on YouTube and you'll have more than enough to satisfy your curiousity

(there is no trailer for this movie to embed.)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen'

before i get started, i just want to point out that The Minutemen were not skinheads, despite what the picture above would possibly lead you to believe.... they weren't punk rockers.... they weren't arena rock stars.... they were just The Minutemen.... and this documentary is their story....

i'm sure a handful of you will know who they are already.... but the majority of you will have never even heard of them.... which is a shame.... granted, they are an aquired taste.... you really have to be into the music scene at that time.... however, you should take a chance and check them out.... read their lyrics.... watch this movie.... if you weren't a fan before, you just might be afterwards.... i've known about them for a long time.... but it took me quite a bit of time to appreciate them for what they were.... like a lot of bands over the course of music as a whole who have been influencial, this is one of those bands.... like them or not.... and this documentary is so well done that it really lets the band shine.... the filmaker blends iterviews followed by a song followed by interview and so on.... it keeps the pace of the movie strong.... and while you're learning about the history of the band and all of their followers, you see them in action at the same time.... it's a good idea and a good blend.... that's what really makes this work....
D. Boon, Mike Watt and George Hurley are The Minutemen.... D. Boon and Mike were friends since high school and although George went to the same school and graduated with them, they never knew each other.... but after all was said and done, they got together and formed the band.... and magic happened.... or so the critics would say and the die hard fans.... and i mean some very prolific and well respected musicians share their thoughts and feelings about the band.... this entire movie is one big love letter to the band and everything they produced and the legacy they left behind....

i truly enjoyed this movie.... from start to finish i was fully invested in the bands story.... they were charasmatic, energetic and the music was something unique.... it made me appreciate them that much more.... even if you've never heard of them and may not like their music, it's still such a well done documentary that its worth watching regardless.... i gav it a strong 4 out of 5 stars.... and i think it stands as an excellent musicial document of a period in time and one bands part in it....

i won't recommend any other options, rather i'll just say to watch this.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Awful Normal'

it's a sad number of children who've been molested.... and an even sadder number of those who've never reported it or were ignored by their parents or guardians.... so many people have gotten away with destroying the lives of others, only to keep doing it and doing it without them ever being brought to justice.... this documentary focuses on a families journey to confront the man who molested the two daughters and was never held accountable for it.... it was instead swept under the rug by a casual attitude towards the issue in the 70's.... one of the women came up with the idea and is the one who set up the whole plan and made the decision that this was the way she was finally going to be able to get on with her life and have some resolution.... granted, it would never make it go away.... but it would release the ghosts of her past....

when the two sisters in the family were in their preteens, the best friend of the family took advanage of his situation of being so trusted and molested each of the girls seperately.... the details are brought to light to the family of this man and are revealed to us the audience.... this is merely the set up for the time when the two sisters and their mom confront the man.... and demand answers....
this is not an easy film to watch.... it's heart wrenching to see what these women have gone through, especially the primary filmaker.... she's by far the most damaged.... and to hear them tell the story of what happened from their own lips as well as the lips of their molester is horrific.... i've know victims of molestation and i'm sure there are more out there who've just not admitted it.... and perhaps this may not be a movie i would recommend that everyone watch.... due to the subject matter.... and may cause some viewers to relive something they don't want to.... or perhaps it will bring some closure to them.... or maybe allow them to have the courage to do the same thing the filmaker did.... therefore, you have been warned....

i gave it 3 out of 5 stars.... although i think it's hard to rate something like this.... it's not about watching something to be entertained.... it's about something so much deeper.... so i just gave it something generic.... it's a well put together documentary and thought provoking.... and that's all i have to say about that.

there is nothing like this i've ever seen.

Monday, October 4, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'Dead in 3 Days'

think of the Austrian version of 'I Know What You Did Last Summer', but with more artistic merit.... and it's in German.... that's pretty much all i can say about this.... it was 3 out of 5 stars for the filmaking.... however it was way too close to the afformentioned movie for comfort.... i suppose you could add a dash of the original 'Friday the 13th' from 1980.... but not that good.

i wasn't all that impressed.... the cinematography.... that was about the only worthwhile part....

if you watch this, you might also want to watch: 'I Know What You Did Last Summer', Friday the 13th' (1980) and 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Thankskilling'

this movie is AWESOME....! i'll start out by telling you that i gave it 4 out of 5 stars.... this movie is so freaking fun and funny that i can't help but love it.... it's on par with some of the best of the Troma movies.... it's terrible, however it's terrible in a wonderful way.... i mean it's about a killer turkey....!!!! how can you not love this....?!?! the turkey talks and has one liners out the butt.... he swears like a sailor.... and this movie starts out crazy and just keeps going from there.... i mean the start of the movie involves a pilgrim woman with her breasts hanging out being chased by the killer turkey and he says his one liner and then kills her.... it's amazingly strange and enjoyable.... it's obvious that the turkey is a giant puppet.... the filmakers don't even try to hide it.... the scenes are over the top and gross and odd.... things that you would never think of happening, happen in this movie.... like a turkey having sex.... a turkey using a shotgun.... a turkey getting pissed on by a dog.... have i peaked your interest yet....? if not, why the hell not....!?!? go add this to your queue NOW....! it's OnDemand.... you can watch it tonight if you want....!

a powerful native american shamen creates this turkey to avenge the wrongs that have happened to his people.... and every 505 years the turkey comes back to exact more revenge.... and 5 kids on Thanksgiving break just happen upon the demonic turkey and the hunt is on.... he slowly tracks them down one by one (i have no idea how.) and kills off the kids.... and after each one or during it, there's always a silly one liner....
i think that the writer just got high and had fun with this.... he had no boundries and just let everything fly.... just look at the poster and you'll understand.... one of my favorite scenes involves one of the kids father, who is a sheriff.... the turkey comes to the house with Groucho glasses and a nose on and the sheriff thinks he's one of the friends of his kid.... they have coffee and talk.... it's a strange scene.... and why the sheriff never notices that this is a giant talking turkey, i'll never know.... and then he kills the sheriff and makes his face into a mask.... and puts on his hat.... when the kids come to the house to try and find a book on how to kill the turkey, they don't notice that the turkey is already in the house and dressed up like the sheriff....?!?! it's hilarious....! i cannot recommend this enough to fans of good/bad movies.... Troma movies.... and just dumb movies in general.... this one is a winner in a big way.... so stop reading this and go spend the one hour and six minutes required to watch the whole movie and then come back and say thank you when you're done.... end of story.

there is nothing else quite like this, except movies in the Troma catalog.

Friday, October 1, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'Hit and Run'

i think this movie was mistitled.... it should have been called 'Dumb'.... plain and simple.... i don't know how much more clearly i can put it.... this movie was silly and pointless.... and not in a fun way.... but damned if i wasn't transfixed throughout the whole movie.... i couldn't stop watching it no matter how terrible it became.... and it just kept getting worse and worse.... i kept hoping that things would turn around, however that was wishful thinking.... it starts out with a bang, literally.... it keeps seeming like it's going to end, but it just keeps going and going and going.... and just when you think that you've seen the dumbest part of the movie, it gets even dumber.... it's basically turd in a DVD case.... (well, it's OnDemand.... so a turd OnDemand.)

here's the story, if you can call it one.... a young woman on spring break leaves a bar, swerves to miss something in the road, hits a man with her car and doesn't realize it.... so she goes home and later in the evening finds out that a man is impaled on the front of her jeep.... so she checks on him and he grabs her, she freaks out and hits him with a golf club and thinks she's killed him.... and not sure what to do, she goes and buries the body in a shallow grave.... the only person she tells is her boyfriend.... soon he's involved.... and when they go back to get the blanket she wrapped the body in, because of fear of getting caught.... her boyfriend gets there first and when she arrives, he's dead.... the man is gone.... and then the man attacks her.... he straps her to the front of the jeep and begins to terrorize her.... it just goes downhill from there.... or i guess i should say, further downhill....
this movie has no point.... no good plot.... no suspense.... no horror.... it's just a big ball of poop.... there's nothing redeeming about it.... i kind of wish i never watched it.... but maybe you'd enjoy it....? it was not recommended to me by a friend, however i didn't listen and took the time to watch it anyway.... time i'll never get back.... and how Kevin Corrigan got involved in this i'll never know.... i thought he was better than that.... and the ending....? i think the writer had a heart attack and died and they got a monkey to finish the script.... honestly.... stay away.... for the love of god, stay away.... 2 out of 5 stars only because i couldn't stop watching it no matter how bad it got....

if you would rather watch a better version of this, watch: 'Stuck'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Nightmares in Red, White and Blue'

there are several documentaries out there about the horror genre.... some are specific to a type of horror.... some are specific to a certain franchise.... this one covers the entire history of American horror from the beginning to almost modern day.... by no means is it all encompassing.... but it does a good job of hitting all the high points.... and even touches lightly on the foreign market.... the movie goes to about 2007-ish with the current horror movies.... it's only got a run time of an hour and a half, so you can imagine that it could have been a lot more involved.... and i would have liked to see more in depth segments on each movie or period of time.... most of the movies were no big suprise, but there were a couple i'd missed along the way.... they interview some of the heavyweights of the genre and discuss not only their movies, but get their thoughts on other peoples work....

the plot is fairly obvious.... it's a documentary.... so there really isn't a plot....
if you're a fan of the horror genre.... then there may not be too much new here for you.... however, it's still worth the watch because it's well put together and the people that made it care about the genre.... and if you're not a fan of the genre, this may be a good jumping off point.... it gives you a lot to chew on.... bring a pen and paper with you so you can take notes.... because they throw a lot of good suggestions at you for movies to see.... ones that will take you through the history of horror cinema and it cuts out a lot of crap in the middle that just isn't worth mentioning.... but i would recommend that you take what you find here and do some branching out on your own.... there are a lot of gems that weren't mentioned and that i had to weed through to find.... but that's part of the fun of the movies.... 3 out of 5 stars....

other horror documentaries: 'His Name Was Jason', 'Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy' and 'Going To Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film'