Tuesday, November 23, 2010

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Someone's Knocking At The Door'

i will never know exactly what possesed me to watch this movie.... and i was so happy when it was over.... there was nothing redeeming about this movie.... there was nothing interesting about this movie.... there was nothing worthwhile about this movie.... it wasn't a pleasure to watch.... the script was godawful.... the directing was subpar at best.... the actors were horrific.... the plot was z-grade porno with a bit of blood and gore.... i don't even want to dignify this movie by explaining the plot (if there was one).... basically, it was a lot of gross out stuff and drugs.... the ending was predictible and lame as all get out.... i don't even know how in the hell this movie got funding.... let's hope this put the nail in the coffin for anyone involved from every making a movie again.... i'd rather watch beige paint dry than watch this again.... less than 1 out of 5 stars, if that was possible....!

rather than watch this.... get a vasectomy.

Monday, November 22, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'Paranormal Entity'

i've stayed away from the ripoffs of popular films, ever since i saw some of 'Tranmorphers'.... blech.... this appeared to be one of those "mockbusters".... however, i thought that i'd give it a shot.... i mean, how bad could it be....? well, i stand corrected.... this was actually pretty well done and although it felt a lot like 'Paranormal Activity', it was still its own movie.... and a pretty good one at that.... the story is pretty different.... a bit more violent.... and creepy.... the acting was above par for your average straight to DVD release.... the effects were well done, what few there were.... i honestly felt chills a few times.... this is available OnDemand right now.... and i would ask that you consider watching it.... it just proves that not all of these types of films are bad....

here's the plot.... footage is found in the attic of a home where multiple murders occured and only one man survived, who was accused of the crimes.... these videos are put together to make the movie.... as evidence of what happened....
i gave it 3 out of 5 stars.... i think it was a nice bookend to 'Paranormal Activity' and something that if you like that type of faux-real-footage type of movie, this may be for you.... i don't know if i'd need to own this or ever watch it again.... however, i don't regret watching it.... it was good enough, that i would almost believe that this and 'Paranormal Activity' was shot at the same time and just happened to have similar plots.... and that one wasn't trying to copy the other.... but i really doubt that.... anyway.... check it out while you can.... you may be pleasently surprised....!

if you like this, watch: 'Paranormal Activity', 'Paranormal Acticity 2' and 'The Blair Witch Project'

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Miner's Massacre' aka 'Curse of the Forty-Niner'

don't ask me why i even bothered adding this one to my Netflix OnDemand queue.... but i did.... i suppose i was hoping for a 'good/bad' movie.... but what i got was a 'bad/terrible' movie.... nothing about this was worthwhile.... not even Karen Black could save this movie.... it was pure and utter crap, from start to painful finish....
i won't even bore you with the plot.... well, maybe i will.... a miner (who's some kind of satanist) puts a curse on his gold so that if anyone takes any of it, he'll come back from the dead and kill them.... so some young people find it.... he comes back.... attaches a pick ax to his arm and proceeds to kill everybody.... that's it.... 1 out of 5 stars.... and yes, they left it open for a sequel.

if you put this in your queue.... you deserve what you get....

Sunday, November 21, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'A Nightmare On Elm Street' (2010)

i've long since overcome my dispute with remakes.... instead, i give them their day in court and try and keep an open mind.... with the majority of the ones i've seen lately, they don't seem to be getting any better.... and with the recent news that Robert Zemeckis is looking to re-do 'The Wizard of Oz' i'm really wondering what they're going to be re-tooling next.... anyway.... the original NoES was a film with heart.... it was limited by the FX of the time.... but Wes Craven had a vision and he carried it out as best he could.... and what he created gave birth to one of the most recognizable horror icons in the history of film.... and spawned multiple sequels....

now to this version.... i think Jackie Earle Haley is a talented guy.... he's short and that kind of works against him in the title role of Freddy Krueger, but he makes the best of it.... the first thing that jumped out at me with this movie was the make-up effects for Freddy.... they went for a more realistic burn victim look.... in the original, Freddy didn't look nearly as burned as he did a pizza face.... but it worked.... with the new make-up, it became distracting to look at Freddy.... also, the voice of Freddy was deeper and more menacing.... it gave him a darker edge.... i did like the way Jackie used the knives on the glove by rubbing them together in anticipation before he killed.... it showed that he relished in what he was doing.... in taking revenge on the children of Elm street.... he also kept the character from making jokes.... something that eventually destoryed the NoES franchise.... my favorite scene in this movie was where Freddy had just killed the teen in the jail cell and then we cut to the dreamworld where Freddy has him hanging upside down.... he comes up to his face and says something like, "....the human mind lives on for 7 more minutes after death.... this means we have 6 more minutes to play...." if the whole movie was this sinister, it might have put the fear of Freddy back into us all.... sadly, this is the high point....
i didn't care for the character Nancy nearly as much as in the original.... and most of the characters came off as flat and dull.... not too mention, something i covered earlier, this movie didn't have the same heart as the original NoES.... it was just a movie made for the sake of making a movie.... and for that, i started to lose interest after a while.... i still enjoyed the ride and enjoyed Jackie's portrayal.... i just hoped for something more.... there's talk of a sequel already and i kind of doubt that they could take it to a new place and a better place.... but who knows....? i'm sure i'll submit myself to watching it.... i am always willing to give a movie a try.... i gave this 3 out of 5 stars.... mostly for Jackie Earle Haley.... as for the rest of the cast and crew, sorry but you didn't pull off a miracle....

if you're a fan of the original, you may want to think twice before watching this.... who knows maybe i'm wrong and you'll love it....?

if you like this or want something similar, watch: 'Friday the 13th' (2009), 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' (2003) and 'My Bloody Valentine' (2009)