my brief thoughts on.... 'Operation: Endgame'

once again.... a couple of quick notes about this poster.... 1) the movie should be called 'Project: Endgame' as that's the way it's referred to in the movie.... not 'Operation: Endgame'.... 2) there are a LOT of guns in this movie poster.... and let me say that only one gun is fired in the movie and it's nothing like any of the ones featured in the poster.... this is hugely misleading or false advertsing.... as i was expecting something like 'The Tournament' and got nothing like that.... all the weapons used are improvised.... anyway.... that being said.... that was a major gripe with this movie.... the poster.

this movie has a huge cast of comedians and a few action stars.... (as you can see from the poster).... Rob Corddry being the coolest of the bunch.... he should make an actual action flick.... i'd pay to see it.... his character is by and large the most likable character in the movie.... this movie is enjoyable to watch, but kind of falls short on overall plot.... i mean, the plot is interesting enough, however i just don't know how much i care about it overall as there are so many characters to follow and a lot of plot to shove into a small amount of time.... i mean the movie has a less than 1 and a half hour running time.... this really needed 2 hours to make it work.... i really wanted to get into some of the other characters.... as there was some good strong bases to build on.... just too damn short.
the plot centers around two groups of government agents who aren't really friendly.... both are overseen by a man by the name of the 'Devil'.... and all of their codenames are based on tarot cards.... nobody uses their own names.... it's the first day for an agent named the 'Fool'.... and during his first day the 'Devil' is killed and soon the two groups realize that the 'Project: Endgame' program had been started.... which meant that the entire complex was going to be vaporized.... so the two groups team up with each other and soon it's dog eat dog.... as they slowly began killing each other.... so you never want to get to attached to any main character, because they may not last long.... and during all of this, they're trying to find a way out....

this movie had so much potential.... but it was all wasted on a short running time.... i don't know if money was an issue or just bad screenwriting.... but it ruined what could have been something pretty kick ass.... i just left the whole experience wanting more.... and it wasn't there.... not too mention the ending was a let down.... enough of it was interesting enough to give it 3 out of 5 stars.... but it was just barely 3 stars.... i can't say i would push you to run out and watch it.... however, i suppose it's a Saturday movie to kill time with.... maybe on cable or if it ever comes OnDemand.... other than that.... watch 'The Tournament' again....

the only other movie that i can relate this too is: 'The Tournament'

my thoughts on.... 'House' (2008)

waste of time. do not watch. 1 out of 5 stars.... it's just that simple.

if you even bother trying to watch this movie.... turn it off and watch anything else.

my thoughts on.... 'Train'

let's keep this brief.... i can sum up this movie in 4 words: "'Hostel' on a train." (only not in a good way....) this movie borrows HEAVILY from the 'Hostel' films, but it has a twist and not even a very good one.... it's bloody and messy for no real reason.... and is about as pointless as 'Under Seige 2: Dark Territory'.... but at least with that movie, it was fun and didn't take itself too seriously.... this one is way too serious. 1 out of 5 stars.... for Thora Birch fans only.... and i can't say that i'm one of them.... i'd ask for my money back, but it was free OnDemand from Netflix.... stay away from this like the plague....

if you even bother with this one, watch something else instead: 'Hostel', 'Hostel 2' or 'Under Seige 2: Dark Territory'

my thoughts on.... 'Alive or Dead'

sometimes a cover to a DVD can be misleading.... actually, anymore these days you CAN'T judge a book by it's cover.... and in this case, they spent more money on the cover artwork than the actual movie itself.... this was one giant waste of time that i wouldn't recommend to my worst enemy.... the story is piss poor at best.... the characters are dumb and pointless.... the villan is awful.... the special effects are sub par.... the ending is horrible.... overall, this movie just plain sucked.... granted, once i started it, i had to finish it.... i can't judge a movie without watching the whole thing and gathering my thoughts based on the picture as a whole, not just from the first 15 minutes.... 1 out of 5 stars.... this is pure dreck and one of the reasons why not everyone should be allowed to be filmakers.... i've seen home movies of a trip to the box factory that were more exiting then this.... you're better off watching paint dry.... at least with that you have something useful when the movies over, instead of your IQ dropping a few points.... don't go anywhere near this movie, ever, for any reason, period.

p.s. why do backwards hillbilly killers always have to be deformed....?

if you're thinking about watching this, put it away and watch one of these instead: 'The Hills Have Eyes' (2006), 'Wrong Turn 2' and 'High Tension' aka 'Haute Tension'

Alive or Dead by coolvibesinfo

my thoughts on.... 'Hack!'

this movie made me wonder what the hell is going on with me lately....? this movie, yet again, has Kane Hodder in it....! granted he's a small part in the movie.... but he's in it.... and it took me by suprise.... also, if you ever wondered what happened to Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years....? well here she is....! Danica McKellar is basically the star of this movie.... and she hasn't changed much over the years.... but you'll have to see the movie to find that out....

this is another example of a movie that just peaked my interest because of the storyline and the people in it.... i watched it sight unseen.... and there are movies out there that are made to be just watched and enjoyed for what they are.... not for any deeper meaning or life changing affermations.... this movie is a popcorn flick.... a fun movie for a Saturday night when you have nothing going on and you just want to check out for an hour and a half.... and in my mind, that's one of the little joys in life....

the story involves some kind of field trip to a remote island with a group of stereotypical teenagers.... every type is cast.... it's so obvious that it's silly.... however, i think that was the point.... they're all pop culture obsessed and talk about horror movies a lot.... the group heads off to a small island ran by a strange couple who are also amateur filmakers.... soon people start disappearing one by one and ending up dead.... and that's just the beginning....
i really, really enjoyed watching this.... it was like a horror geeks movie made for horror geeks only.... it's not all that smart and it's not all that serious, but it's well worth the watch.... it's a fun little flick with a lot to enjoy with all the little references to movies we've all seen and love and conversations that we've all had with our friends.... this movie got a bum rap for trying to hard and not being well done.... but i disagree.... i think it did exactly what it was supposed to do and i'd watch it again....

3 out of 5 stars.... however, if you're going to watch this.... please don't expect too much.... and you'll be pleasantly suprised.... i promise.... if you're looking for the next 'Citizen Kane', then look elsewhere.... because Oscar worthy it ain't.

if you like this, watch: 'Scream', 'Club Dredd' and 'Scary Movie'

my thoughts on.... 'Cold Storage'

what is love....? it's a big question that has many answers.... and this movie is just one of those answers.... sadly, i came up with this same answer back in 2001 and wrote a short story very similar to this called, 'The Mortician: A Short Story of Longing'.... but that's for another time.... this is still an original movie with a twisted sense of itself and a good backbone in storytelling.... i found this on accident in the Netflix new releases to the OnDemand section and it caught my attention right off the bat.... and after watching it, i don't regret adding it to my queue....

the story revolves around a woman who heads to a small town to be in a play and leaves her boyfriend behind.... not in the best shape, relationship wise.... while on the way to the small town, she's in an accident and breaks her neck and ultimately dies on the road.... a passerby stops and you think he's going to help her and get her to a hospital.... instead, he puts her in his car and tows her car behind his back to his house.... where he proceeds to treat her like a living woman and falls in love with her.... and as she slowly begins to rot, things get interesting.... but it doesn't stop there.... the womans sister and boyfriend start looking for her.... and things just get strange from there....
there's not really much of a big name cast to speak of.... and it sometimes comes off a bit like the movie of the week on ABC.... but if you can get beyond those little things.... it's a gem of a movie.... a character study in human oddities and small town life, the dark side of it.... i really enjoyed all of the actors in this film and they way they portrayed their characters.... no one phoned in their performance and everyone was well cast.... it's a movie well worth your time and energy and never goes for the easy gross out.... it's more about the simple act of being crazy and loving a dead person.... so even those with a weak stomach can enjoy this movie....

3 out of 5 stars.... easy.... the story falls apart a little bit here and there and that's why i didn't give it a higher rating.... but beyond that it's and hour and a half well spent.... i would maybe even give it a second viewing.... granted it's not my story that i wrote.... but that doesn't mean it's crap.... so pop it in your Netflix queue and dig it.... i think you'll enjoy yourself.... but be careful driving on rural roads late at night and watch for low flying birds.

if you enjoy this movie, also watch: 'Kissed', 'Cemetary Man' and read my short story 'The Mortician: A Short Story of Longing' (or its sequel.)

my thoughts on.... 'Bundy'

so Parker Lewis can't lose, eh....? well, this movie proves that to be untrue.... what i mean is that Corin Nemec plays the lead role of Ted Bundy and doesn't do to bad of a job.... he's creepy where he needs to be and charming where he needs to be.... not the best retelling of this story that i've seen.... but it's a decent movie with decent qualities.... this movie is made by the same folks who made 'B.T.K.' (which is also reviewed in this blog....) it's obvious this is a slap dash, direct to video piece of filth that is only made to cash in on the serial killer-philes.... people who are fascinated by serial killers and find their stories interesting.... i'm betting, however, 10 to 1 that there are way better books and online articles about this man than this movie.... i'd put money on it.

Ted Bundy was considered a charming serial killer.... a man who could've had any woman he wanted, but instead turned to a life of crime.... (he's not really portrayed in that way in this movie).... he was known for being a smart guy and they make him out to be more of a child in this movie.... they also take some liberties with his method and his madness.... he has a serious hatred for women and kills them in some fairly brutal ways.... i guess i really shouldn't have expected too much from this.... it just fell in line with my theme for the night of serial killer movies and documentaries.....
if you have a spare bit of time on your hands.... it's interesting to watch Corin's take on the character.... and he's charismatic enough to hold your attention for the full hour and a half.... but this is not the recommended version of this story.... and a simple search online would find better fact based versions of this man's story.... he was a sick individual who got what he deserved in the end.... too bad it wasn't any earlier.... a few more lives could have been saved....

again, 2 out of 5 stars.... not a recommend movie.... it's available OnDemand on Netflix along with B.T.K..... but i'd stay away and see what other Hollywood movies you can find that are fictional or the occasional one that is a true story.... these direct to video titles are basically just serial killer porn that serve no real purpose.... just to clutter up the DVD shelves at the video store.... and to sucker in people who just don't know any better.... i knew what i was getting into, but i was curious anyway.... i guess i'm just funny that way....

if you liked this movie, check out these much better films: 'Hannibal', 'Manhunter' and 'Red Dragon'

my thoughts on.... 'Nine Dead'

ever want to see a movie where a bunch of people are trapped in a room and must fight for their lives to get out while trying to solve a puzzle....? oh wait, you've already seen 6 of those....? well, not this one.

the premise sounded interesting to me.... and i found it available to watch instantly on Netflix.... and later available at Redbox.... and i decided to invest the hour and a half to see what it was all about.... and i hate to say it, but i didn't hate it.... it's not going to win any awards..... it's not all that original.... and it's fairly simple in it's overall excecution.... the basic idea is: 9 people are trapped in a room and must figure what they all have in common or one of them will die every 10 minutes.... ie: 90 minute movie.... the killer is kinda of creepy in his s&m mask and hoodie.... and he's not joking about his threats.... so don't watch the movie and get too attached to anyone, because you never really know who's gonna die next....
the characters are all interesting to watch and the actors do the best with the script that they can.... and i enjoyed learning along with the rest of the characters as to what the hell was going on.... the writers do a good job of building suspense and not letting the cat out of the bag too early.... my only regret or problem with the movie is the ending.... its sloppy and unrealistic.... or maybe that's just me.... the killer isn't super hard to figure out and what happens in the last 10 minutes is so over the top it borders on silly.... either way, i'd recommend watching it on a rainy Saturday night.... it's worth that much....

oh and Melissa Joan Hart is in it.... if that does anything for you.

if you enjoy this movie, check out: the 'Saw' series....plain and simple.

my thoughts on.... 'Sorority Row'

i know what you're thinking right now.... 'Sorority Row' = teen crap.... right....? well, let me stomp on that little bit of thinking right off the bat.... this movie may have all the inner workings of another 'I Know What You Did Last Summer'.... but suprisingly, it goes a step or two beyond that.... it takes frats and sorority's and almost uses them as satire..... not in a ha ha funny kind of a way.... but it never takes itself so seriously that you get scared or grossed out.... it's just a fun, clever, little piece of horror filmaking that stands up with the best of it's kind.... meaning teeny bopper based slasher flicks.... i was really suprised at how much i enjoyed this movie.... it kept me guessing, it had good pacing and the script didn't suck.... the killers weapon of choice was original and it was a morality play all at the same time....! (and Bruce Willis's daughter was in it too....)

basically, sorority chicks go to far.... someone dies.... they try and cover it up.... it comes back to haunt them somehow and the world breaks down.... and it's interesting to me to watch these uptight, rich girls take on a horrific situation and see how they handle it.... granted it ain't Shakespeare.... but it's above average for what it is....
all in all.... a movie worth spending your time on.... it's available at Redbox, but only to rent on Netflix.... the cast is well cast.... the story is not too original, but well carried out.... the movie itself is shot very well and looks pretty.... overall a cut above the rest.... and not at all the piece of garbage i was expecting....

3 out of 5 stars.... go rent it if you have a little extra time and feel like watching pretty people get their just desserts.... and if you've ever wanted to know what REALLY goes on at a sorority party....! (yeah, right.).... you won't regret it.... if you want something smarter and scarier.... this may not be the one for you....

if you enjoy this movie, check out: 'Black Christmas' (2006), 'Club Dredd' and the 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' trilogy

my thoughts on.... 'Severed: Forest Of The Dead'

it's late.... you're in the mood for some zombie killin' and stompin'.... you see that Netflix has this movie called 'Severed: Forest Of The Dead' available OnDemand.... and this peaks your interest.... then you read the description:

"When a forestry company's profit-driven decision to genetically engineer trees goes horribly wrong, a mismatched group of loggers and environmental activists become ravenous flesh-eating zombies. And although a few uninfected survivors remain, their chances of getting out of the wilderness alive are as remote as the forest itself. An ensemble cast stars in this undead gore fest that makes a run-in with a wood chipper seem tame."

sounds like it might be interesting, right....? well, that's where you'd probably be wrong.... not that it's not without some charm.... and i'm sure the people that worked on the film, worked real hard.... it's just too bad that it's all a big mess.... just look at it this way.... tree huggers + loggers + zombies + corporations = craptastic results....

i gave it a very generous 2 out of 5 stars.... it was fairly boring.... the story held little to no interest.... the message, if there was one, about conserving the forest was lost on me.... the kills were mediocre.... the acting was sub par.... the special effects were probably the high point.... but that's about it.... it was a big mess of confusion and blood....

unless you're REALLY bored and in need of a zombie fix.... stay away.... watch 'Dead Snow' instead.... it's OnDemand too and has Nazi zombies.... and who doesn't love a good Nazi zombie movie....? damn it....! i tell you no one doesn't enjoy seeing Nazi zombies blow up.... no one.

oh and one more thing about 'Severed: Forest Of The Dead'.... the ending sucked.

if you enjoy this movie, check out: 'Dead Meat', 'Hide and Creep' and 'Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things'

my thoughts on.... 'The Hills Run Red'

have you ever seen 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'....? or 'Friday The 13th'....? 'The Hills Have Eyes'....? then more than likely you've seen 'The Hills Run Red'.... granted the storyline is a bit different, the killer is different and the ending is different.... but other than that, it's basically the same premise and steals heavily from all of these films.... and from many others.... i sat through the entire thing and was never bored and felt like it was worth my time.... however, i would never accuse the creators of being original....

the first act opens with a whole backstory about a film that's so violent that it's never been seen in full since it was released.... it was only out for a brief time and then all of the prints disappeared.... from there, with the hel of the internet, the legend has grown to outlandish proportions and the cult following is immense.... every horror hound on the planet wants to see the movie and one fan is so obsessed that he talks his friends into following up on a lead he has on the directors daughter.... and also decides to document the entire journey to create a film about the film.... this all leads them to the backwoods.... inbreds.... a masked killer and blood spews.... then the twist.... then the end.... then one more twist and then you can go home and stew about the film and it's higher purpose an meaning.... if there was any.....
overall, the killer is fairly original, the plot twists are dark and unique, but nothing is groundbreaking enough to set this apart from many other copycat films or the groundbreaking originals.... the acting is good....the scenery is beautiful.... the story is interesting enough to carry the whole movie and i honestly sat with my eyes glued to the screen the entire time.... i just kept hoping for something more than it delivered.... and ultimately that's what brings the level and rating of this movie down a notch or two....

my final verdict, check it out.... it's available to rent through Netflix and other fine rental places.... it's worth the price of admission and will please the bored horror-phile.... i don't want to give away the twists and turns.... but let's just say i felt dirty at the end.... 3 out of 5 stars.... and if the director and writer come up with something else that's a bit more original or revamp something that is older that needs a re-do, we may have something worth mentioning....

p.s. stay away from strippers.

if you enjoy this movie, check out: 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' (1974), 'The Hills Have Eyes' (2006) and 'The Hills Have Eyes II' (2007)

my thoughts on.... 'Rest Stop: Don't Look Back'

so you really wanted a sequel to 'Rest Stop', eh....? oh wait, you didn't....? neither did i.... however, damn the people who make the DVD covers for this movie and the original because it makes me want to watch them for some reason....! not to mention i'm a slasher movie guy.... but in this film, you realize that perhaps the killer is more than your standard hack and slash kind of guy.... needless to say, i really didn't care for the first one all that much.... the killer was kind of lame and the people in the Winnebago were the only really creepy part.... overall it was just kind of lame.... but for some godforsaken reason i put myself through another one....

here's the deal.... people in Winnebago kill man in yellow truck. (not to be confused with the man in the yellow hat.).... they rip out his eyes and bury him after mutilating the body.... little did the world know that if you do that, the native american legend of them coming back to haunt the earth will happen.... and he won't rest until you burn his eyes.... sounds pretty cool, right....? nope. guy in the yellow truck kills all the people in the Winnebago and makes them suffer the same fate as him.... so people show up at this rest stop and never leave.... because he comes and takes them back to his big yellow school bus.... i'm not kidding about that.... and in this sequel, the brother of the original guy in the first film comes looking for his younger brother with his girlfriend and another guy.... and the rest writes itself....
the story is predictible.... but not without it's entertainment values.... i did watch the whole thing and was curious the whole time about how it would end.... don't mistake that for any desire to ever watch it again.... because it ain't gonna happen.... the ending is nothing new.... the story is a mess.... the supernatural element and horrible bad guy make this one for the lame movie books.... i dont' recommend it unless you really liked the first one and are just dying to see what happens next.... and i highly doubt you're that guy.

2 out of 5 stars.... plain and simple.... pretty people + violence + low budget sequel = this movie.... there is some nudity, but trust me.... it ain't worth the price of admission.... go rent some of the other movies i've reviewed instead.... and if you want a backwoods, dirty desert killer movie.... rent 'The Hills Have Eyes'.... the remake or the original.... they're both far superior to the 'Rest Stop' duo.... about all that the rest stop is good for is taking a poop on a long trip.... and writing something nasty on the bathroom stall with a sharpie....

oh and it's not just a clever title.... when they say 'Don't Look Back'.... they mean it.... seriously....

if you enjoy this movie, check out: ' Rest Stop', 'The Ruins' and 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning'

my thoughts on.... 'Hide and Creep'

i'm all for low budget horror films.... and Troma is the king of that genre, but Troma this ain't.... but for some reason this one kept popping up as a film i would enjoy.... and it was available on Netflix OnDemand.... so i eventually caved and put it in the queue.... and the other night i went ahead and invested the time to watch it.... let's start by saying that the quote on the poster above is not true at all.... it's nowhere close to 'Shaun of the Dead'.... yes, it's a comedy.... yes, it's a zombie movie.... but no, it's not nearly as good.... now that's not to say that it's not without its charm....

it basically starts out with some confusing but typical zombie movie situations.... except for the naked man falling out of the tree.... yes, i said a naked man falls out of a tree.... so long story short.... zombies have taken over.... people band together to fight them.... blood and guns ensue.... and then credits roll.... that's about it.... however bland that sounds.... it's still a fun little slice of low budget goodness....
the comedy is dry and poorly timed.... the acting is dinner theater at best.... the script is creative, but the budget needed to be larger and the characters developed more to really showcase the raw talent that was behind the curtain.... the characters are likeable.... and there are some laugh out loud moments.... it almost feels like a poor man's 'Clerks' + 'Night of the Living Dead'.... or at least that's what it seemed like they were going for.... all in all, i guess what i'm saying is that if you have an hour and a half, a few beers and nothing better to fill you time.... watch this movie.... probably with friends would be my suggestion....

cult classic....? nah. something that will last the test of time....? nah. does it show promise....? yes. i'd be interested to see what comes next from this filmaker and writer.... they did the best they could with the budget they had.... and that's all you can really ask for in this type of movie.... i mean, it's not 'Waterworld'.... right....? (3 out of 5 stars)

if you enjoy this movie, check out: any movie made by Mark Palonia