my thoughts on.... 'The Masters of Horror' series

i can honestly say that the 'Masters of Horror' series, in theory, sounds good on paper.... however, i've found the execution to be less than stellar.... but i decided to give it another shot and i cleared some time from my movie watching schedule to watch 5 episodes in a row to see if maybe i was just too quick to judge.... or perhaps i just watched the wrong episodes in the series.... either way, i figured i owed the actors and directors i loved a 2nd shot.... i mean this is a popular series.... i must just be missing something, right....?

the premise of the series is to have the premire horror directors of our time direct 1 hour episodes of this show.... basically mini movies that are made for cable television.... so they don't pull any punches.... they have the premire special effects guys and fairly big named actors.... it puts all of the elements together of a good horror film and condenses it into each episode.... some work better than other.... but that's to be expected with any television show.... you can't always have an emmy nominated episode every time.... right....?

below are my individual reviews for each of the episodes i watched....

the first up was 'Family'.... directed by John Landis, director of 'An American Werewolf in London'.... a classic in it's own right.... this is the first time i've seen a Masters of Horror episode that i got wrapped up in the story.... it was actually intriguing.... the characters were well thought out and the story was interesting.... i never would have thought of George Wendt as a serial killer, but he seemed to pull it off quite well.... granted, you have to take a bit of a leap of faith, but that's part of the fun of it all.... and the couple next door play off of him quite well.... as he's quite the creepy guy....

the basic story is that George Wendt is finding members of his "family" to kill and bleach their skeletons so that he has a wife, a child, a grandmother and a grandfather.... in his mind they interact with him and he believes that he's the head of his own little family.... however each member is not related, but rather picked out of a crowd and killed for their potential place in his family unit.... soon neighbors move in next door and and befriend him.... and gradually George becomes enamored with the wife of the neighbor and wants her to be his new wife.... things get interesting from there and i won't give away the ending.... but i would recommend this episode as a 3 out of 5 star installment.... it won't win an emmy, but it's darn fun to watch....

next up was 'Cigarette Burns' directed by John Carpenter the director of 'Halloween'.... and who doesn't find that movie to be a classic in the slasher genre....? this was another example of the Masters of Horror series suprising me.... this movie got my interest from the start.... it stars Norman Reedus and Udo Keir.... they both suit their character types beautifully and they drive the story along at a strong pace.... the movie itself doesn't have a really strong horror element until the end, but it has it's share of blood and guts.... John Carpenter proves again why he's one of our premire horror directors of the last few decades....

the basic story is that Norman Reedus is a theater owner who can get rare films for collectors and owns his own theater.... Udo Keir is a private collector who is in search of a rare film that drives it's audience to kill each other or themselves.... he's made it his lifes work to track the film down and view it.... he's collected as many souveniers as he can from the film.... but with it only ever having one screening ever, it's rare to find anything related to the film.... so he hires Norman to track the film down for him.... and what happens from that point forward needs to be seen to be understood.... needless to say it doesn't disappoint.... i give this another 3 out of 5 stars.... it feels a bit episodic, but it had the potential to be strong enough to carry a full hour and a half of screen time....

being a fan of the movie 'Phantasm' and 'Bubba Ho-Tep', it was a no brainer to watch Don Coscarelli's installment called 'Incident On and Off a Mountain Road'.... there weren't any big names in it other than Angus Scrimm. (the Tall Man from the 'Phantasm' movies).... but that didn't matter.... this little slice of inbred slasher goodness was good besides any big names.... it's suitable creepy and does in one hour what a lot of slashers don't do in a full hour and a half.... this was well worth the time invested in it for what it's worth....

as far as plot goes.... a woman ends up in a mountain area being chased by a killer known as 'Moonface'.... who not only is after her, but is after another woman who's ended up in the same situation.... the only difference is that our heroine is married to a survivalist nut who taught her how to survive in the wilderness and to protect herself from attackers.... the chase is on and eventually it ends up at the killers home where we meet an extremely eccentric Angus Scrimm, who steals the show.... as usual, i won't give away the ending, but it's a solid 3 out of 5 star installment and it should be watched if you're going to take time to enjoy the Masters of Horror series.... next up on the hit parade is a little flick from Mr. Tobe Hooper the director of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'.... it stars a darkly cheesy Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) as a club owner of an odd little club in a postapocilyptic future.... the story itself is not 100% original as far as the dark future is concerned.... but what happens at the club is.... Tobe does a great job creating a solid pace to the movie and something that's very entertaining....

in the near future, the world is a desolate place filled with rampant crime and very little to look forward to.... a young girl meets up with a band of hooligans and ends up on a night on the town with them.... they eventually end up at a club where Robert Englund has a unique sideshow.... the build up is strong until you finally get the payoff in which he introduces the fact that he has the undead as dancers in his show.... they're shocked by a cattle prodder and twitch around the stage to he whoops and hollars of the crowd.... there's a twist to the end that you have to see to understand, but it's a decent storyline that doesn't really let down with the ending.... another 3 out of 5 star review for this movie.... it's not great, but it's worth the effort....
from director Joe Dante 'The Howling' comes an interesting take on the end of the world scenario.... starring Jason Priestly and Elliot Gould we find ourselves in a bizarre new world and a disturbing one on many levels.... it begs the question of how might we end up dying off as the human race.... and after seeing so many end of the world movies, zombie movies, etc.... this has a whole new take on an old theme.... it's very well written and kept me on the edge of my seat.... i do have to complain a bit about the ending.... it was a bit weak and left me feeling a bit cold to the entire entry.... but as a whole the piece was one of the better in the Masters of Horror series so far....

the plot revolves around a disease that's spreading across the male population where it's causing their sex drive and drive to violence to be confused.... so much so that they're killing off the female population in mass numbers.... gradually it comes down to basically the last woman on earth fighting for her life.... but the entire time while they're searching for a cure, before the doctors themselves become infected, we have no idea where it came from or how it started.... was it some kind of biological warfare....? some strand of virus that mutated....? it's just a big mystery....? i don't want to give away the ending, but i have to admit it brought this down to a 3 out of 5 stars because i really felt off about the finale.... it's still a great horror story.... but not one that will hold up well over time....

there is more to come in the Masters of Horror series of reviews, as i am working my way through all of them that are OnDemand on Netflix.... i would encourage you to consider them as bite size horror snacks.... something to pass by a short period of time when you just down have the full amount of time to invest in a movie.... or to get the most bang for your buck in an evening, watching these makes you feel like you've seen 6 movies in the time it would have taken to watch 2 or 3.... i hope you enjoy them.... and don't forget to leave the light on....

my thoughts on.... 'Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy'

a 4 hour documentary....? just on the 'Elm Street' series....? yup, that's exactly what they've done and i'll be the first to admit that they've done it right.... it's never boring, it never feels like 4 hours and it covers all 8 movies in great depth.... including interviews with almost everyone involved in the making of all the movies.... from behind the scenes people, to actors and directors.... it's the most comprehensive and interesting documentary i've ever seen on horror.... it's made by the same folks who made 'His Name Was Jason', the 'Friday the 13th' series documentary.... however that one was only and hour and a half and was almost a trial run for this monster of a movie....

there's no plot to speak of, but there is a series of stop motion animations inbetween each section of the movie.... they're fun to watch and something new to set your eyes on.... each section on each movie covers all aspects of the films production from the conception to the box office after it's release.... it's almost clinical how involved this movie gets.... you can really get inside the head of Wes Craven, Robert Englund and the rest of the cast and crew.... you also see how people have agd over the years and their thoughts on their participation in each movie.... they even go in depth on the overall theme of the 2nd movie and how it seemed to have strong homosexual overtones.... they admit it wasn't planned, but they age it's blatant after seeing it with finished eyes.... this movie has it all....
so the question is are you a casual fan or a die hard fan....? either way it's worth your time.... hell, this even covers 'Freddy's Nightmares', the music videos, the merchandise and all things Freddy.... the only thing it doesn't cover is the current remake of the original film.... but there is so much else that it doesn't even need to get involved in that.... but that's not all.... the 2nd disc in this set offers almost another 4 hours of features.... so if you still haven't had enough, you can sink your teeth into this.... it's an amazing valentine to every fan of the series....

i highly recommend this to anyone who has any interest.... my only suggestion is to watch all of the films first.... so you can appreciate this film that much more.... i can easily give this 4 out of 5 stars.... it will be apart of my DVD collection at some point and it will replace the joke of a bonus disc that came with the original box set.... i savored every moment of this film and i can't wait to watch it again.... so run, don't walk to the DVD store, Netflix or your local rental place and watch this movie.... it'll be worth it.

my thoughts on.... 'Train'

let's keep this brief.... i can sum up this movie in 4 words: "'Hostel' on a train." (only not in a good way....) this movie borrows HEAVILY from the 'Hostel' films, but it has a twist and not even a very good one.... it's bloody and messy for no real reason.... and is about as pointless as 'Under Seige 2: Dark Territory'.... but at least with that movie, it was fun and didn't take itself too seriously.... this one is way too serious. 1 out of 5 stars.... for Thora Birch fans only.... and i can't say that i'm one of them.... i'd ask for my money back, but it was free OnDemand from Netflix.... stay away from this like the plague....

if you even bother with this one, watch something else instead: 'Hostel', 'Hostel 2' or 'Under Seige 2: Dark Territory'

my thoughts on.... 'Demons'

i've never been a fan of Italian horror films.... i just had to say that right off the bat.... for some reason they just never appealed to me.... i've seen several and tried to get into them, but the only one that i can say that i love and even own is Lucio Fulci's 'Zombi'.... but a friend of mine told me that i should check out the pair of Dario Argento produced films called 'Demons' and 'Demons 2'.... i was hesitant, but he insisted and i read the premise of the first one and it intrigued me.... so over this past weekend, i rented it from Netflix and last night i had the time to sit down and absorb the movie and give it the proper attention it needed....

the storyline begins with a strange man' with a silver mask and disfigured face, handing out free movie passes to a cinema called the Metropol.... the theater had been shut down for years, but this was the grand re-opening.... gradually we're introduced to several groups of people attending the premire and we're told little bits about them.... so as to make us worry about them when the poop hits the fan.... as the film begins, we find out that it's a horror film about Nostradamus and demons taking over the earth.... soon art begins to imitate life, when one women turns into a demon herself and begins infecting everyone else in the theater.... it's a fight for their lives to try and find a way out.... and that's all i'm going to give away.... sounds pretty intriguing, right....?
i have to admit and i'm not too big to say this.... i enjoyed this film from start to finish.... it was a lot closer to a zombie movie.... or '28 Days Later' than to anything else i've seen.... the virus spreads in the same way, for the most part, and the demons move fairly quickly.... which of course heightens the tension.... i think that's the reason that i really dug this movie.... was the original plot and the zombie-like similarities.... the special effects are overly gory.... the demons are extremely gooey and bloody.... the sets are used very effectively.... and it's amazing how much use you can get out of one movie theater for the plot of a horror movie....

hands down one of the first Italian horror movies i've seen in a long time that i enjoyed.... easily 3 out of 5 stars and highly recommended for zombie fans.... i might even go up to 4 stars on this one, once i see the 2nd one and find out where the story goes.... as i was a little let down by the end of this one.... and you'll see that for yourself if you watch it.... i want to take them as a whole piece of work, not just one film.... to sum this up, this movie comes Joel recommended.

if you enjoy this, check out: 'Zombie', '28 Days Later' and 'Dawn of the Dead' (2004)

my blog.... part III

just so you all know.... i've changed the comments settings so that ANYONE can comment.... you don't have to be a registered user.

so go nuts....!

my blog.... part II

as you all know, i'm a movie freak.... it's just that simple.... and i love all things about film and filmaking.... and so it was a natural progression to write about them in a blog, as i love writing too.... granted the reviews may not always be the most well written or thought out pieces of work.... but it's a release for me and a way to convey my thoughts and feelings on the things i say.... and perhaps to get others to watch something they may not have normally.... and to check out my recommendations at the end of the reviews to lead them down other directions too.... either way, i love doing it and i hope that you enjoy reading it.... since i no longer have a solo podcast to voice my thoughts and feelings about film.... this is the only outlet outside of my brief reviews on my podcast The Undercover Unitards.... http://undercoverunitards.podbean.com/ ....check us out.... you may dig it....

so please enjoy my musings and jumbled rantings.... and if you feel so inclined, comment on them.... i love to get feedback and critique.... good or bad.... i feel like it's all a learning experience and i love to know what you all think too....

thanks for your continued support.... and i hope this continues on for a long time.... and don't forget to check out my old blog at: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=414317&blogId=507914524 ....so in closing.... here's a fun picture to just add a little flare to my thoughts.... enjoy.

p.s. if you haven't seen 'Hard Boiled'.... then how can you call yourself an action film lover.... seriously.

my thoughts on.... 'Alive or Dead'

sometimes a cover to a DVD can be misleading.... actually, anymore these days you CAN'T judge a book by it's cover.... and in this case, they spent more money on the cover artwork than the actual movie itself.... this was one giant waste of time that i wouldn't recommend to my worst enemy.... the story is piss poor at best.... the characters are dumb and pointless.... the villan is awful.... the special effects are sub par.... the ending is horrible.... overall, this movie just plain sucked.... granted, once i started it, i had to finish it.... i can't judge a movie without watching the whole thing and gathering my thoughts based on the picture as a whole, not just from the first 15 minutes.... 1 out of 5 stars.... this is pure dreck and one of the reasons why not everyone should be allowed to be filmakers.... i've seen home movies of a trip to the box factory that were more exiting then this.... you're better off watching paint dry.... at least with that you have something useful when the movies over, instead of your IQ dropping a few points.... don't go anywhere near this movie, ever, for any reason, period.

p.s. why do backwards hillbilly killers always have to be deformed....?

if you're thinking about watching this, put it away and watch one of these instead: 'The Hills Have Eyes' (2006), 'Wrong Turn 2' and 'High Tension' aka 'Haute Tension'

Alive or Dead by coolvibesinfo

my thoughts on.... 'Pandorum'

i cannot express the joy i get when i find a diamond in the rough.... when you stumble across a film that takes you by suprise and turns out to be so much more than you could have ever hoped for.... this is one of those rare films.... i had never even heard of this before i ran across it in the new OnDemand movies on Netflix.... the plot sounded interesting, the actors involved were good and it got a pretty high rating.... when it started, i noticed that one of the producers was Paul W.S. Anderon, who's done some excellent films in his day.... i knew it was going to be a bit more than i originally had expected.... as he doesn't make crap.... i wasn't wrong.... the film is so much more than what the small blurb explaining the plot lets on.... this movie is grand in scope, despite it's humble beginnings.... it's like a pot of water that starts out cool and slowly builds to a boil and then boils over the top of the pot and hisses on the stovetop.... i can't say enough good things about it.... there are very few moments that this movie showed weak spots....

two crewmen on a spacecraft wake up from hypersleep and have no idea who they are, where they are or what their mission is.... slowly the storyline creeps along as we find out in small doses exactly what the characters are finding out.... it's like you're another member of the crew with the same issues.... i don't want to give away too much of the plot as it's so much more enjoyable to just see what happens on you're own.... regardless, it's WELL worth the time for you to invest in this as it's an excellent film that should have gotten a lot more notice than it did.... what i mean is that more people need to know about this film. i'm gushing at this point and i don't care.... i loved this movie so much.... it had everything that i wanted in a hard sci-fi film.... excitement, blood, intrigue, cool weapons, a nifty spaceship, a great storyline, well thought out characters and an excellent script.... this movie has so much going for it, it's silly.... at this point i think i've built it up too much.... so please don't go into this expecting the next 'Matrix' movie or 'District 9'.... go in with no expectations and you'll be rewarded greatly.... it's just that simple.... watch this movie.

4 out of 5 stars.... almost 5 out of 5.... i will be adding this one to my DVD collection at some point and look forward to taking the roller coaster ride again.... it's just a shame that i can't experience it with the same set of fresh eyes i had last night.... however, i think it will stand the test of time and will hold up over the years.... so add this to your queue.... grab a bucket of popcorn and a Coke and settle in for a thrill ride.... because that's exactly what'll you'll get as your reward for listening to this humble reviewers advice.... if i'm wrong, i'll give you your money back.... (good thing it's free.).... just enjoy it and thank me later.

if you like this, watch: 'Sunshine', 'Event Horizon' and 'Pitch Black'

my thoughts on.... 'Meat Market' and 'Meat Market 2'

bad movies are bad movies.... low budget movies are low budget movies.... and many times the two are usually tied together.... in this case, the rule is not the rule.... granted this movie is shot on a home video camera and the production values are not great, but you can feel that this director had the passion for the project and it shone through the limitations of his budget.... and that goes a long way.... if you believe in something enough, go for it.... live the dream.... these movies have a lot going for them.... there are some parts that are a bit lame and confusing.... but you take the little bit of bad to overcome the overall good.... but if you do decide to invest the time in these movies, be warned they are VERY low budget.... the acting isn't great and the special effects are pretty poor....

the running story involves the take over of society by zombies.... pretty basic.... and our main characters are just struggling to survive the apocalypse as best the can.... and along the way they gather up some other survivors who are also sharing the same goal.... throughout the story we find out that the zombies were created because of a government experiment that was rushed along involving tiny nanobytes (i think that's what they were called.).... we also find out the three of the suvivors that join our heros are vampires who're out for the same goal of destroying the zombies, because they're taking up all of their food supply and i guess zombie blood just tastes gross.... at the end of the first film, there's a showdown and we're left with a bit of a cliffhanger.... as the second movie opens.... it's a year later and the plague just keeps getting worse.... they soon find a commune type area where a group is trying to rebuild society, in the worst way possible.... almost in a third reich kind of way.... and the rest goes on from there.... i don't want to spoil the ending, but it feels pretty fresh even though the director borrows heavily from other zombie classics....
there are plenty of WTF moments in the movie.... and some obvious attempts to shock for shocks sake and to have nudity just to have nudity.... but if you can see beyond that and the low quality, it's a very engrossing set of movies.... i found myself caring about the characters and rooting for them to succeed.... not to mention, i can say i saw this directors first movies before he became famous.... (if that should ever happend.).... overall, i really enjoyed the time i spent in his world of zombies and vampires....

3 out of 5 stars for both.... i can't go much higher because there were some aspects that were very unecessary.... and the 2nd movie doesn't hold up the high standards of the first.... at least not the whole way through.... regardless, i recommend this for someone who wants a fresh feeling zombie flick and has the time to watch them.... they're free to watch on Netflix OnDemand.... but you MUST have an open mind if you're going to view these.... it's just that simple.

if you like this, check out: 'Shatter Dead', 'Dance of the Dead' and 'Undead'

my thoughts on.... 'Watchmen'

i remember when comic book movies were just for kids.... and to find one that appealed to adults or was even close to some of the more adult oriented comics was impossible.... gradually over the years this trend has changed.... i think that the studios understand that you can still have a hit even if it's not just PG-13.... and if it's a bit more graphic than you're average comic book film.... i think it's about damn time.... there are some exceptions to the rule.... but many of them suffer from the Hollywood syndrome.... ie: they sellout the original story to meet some kind of demographic.... or they re-write the ending to make it more happy.... so when i heard that the classic comic book 'Watchmen' was being turned into a film, i was skeptical.... when i heard it was being directed by Zack Snyder i started to have a glimmer of hope.... and when i heard it got an 'R' rating, i was stoked.... i finally had a chance to watch this last night.... and not since the 'Dark Knight' have i been so engrossed in a comic book film.... from the opening credits to the closing song, i was lost in a world not my own.... an alternate reality of 1985.... i was fascinated by a group of characters that aren't always likeable, but you can't take your eyes of them.... it seemed to me that this may be another fine example of pitch perfect film making.... but we'll get to that later....

the storyline is rich and deep and anything i could write here would not do it justice.... it's just something you have to experience..... so instead, i'll give you the broad strokes.... one of the superheros, The Comedian from the group called The Watchmen, is murdered and suddenly there is a concern that someone is out gunning for supers.... meanwhile, all superheros have been banned and although they try to lead normal lives, some of them just have a hard time letting go.... and overshadowing the whole storyline is the fact that the US and Russia are on the brink of nuclear war and everyone is on edge and no on feels truly safe.... and that's just skimming the surface.... there's so much more underneath.... i can't emphasize enough that you need to see the movie to get the whole story.... or at least read the comic.... but if you want the whole shebang, do both.... you won't be sorry.
this film has extremely well developed characters.... an interesting storyline and more than enough action and intrigue to satisfy even the most passive filmgoer.... it's one of those movies that transcends it's genre.... if you took the fact that they were superheros out of the storyline and just told the story without that little factor.... you still have an amazing story that has depth.... the superhero angle just makes it that much more interesting.... i may sound like i'm gushing, but it's not very often that films like this come along.... and when they do, they deserve as much of an audience as they can get.... this is a film that i would recommend to just about anyone over the age of 18.... and even more so if they're film lovers or comic book lovers.... chances are though, if they're in either one of those categories, i'm sure they've already seen it or own it....

so what rating do i give it you might ask....? well, that's where things get strange.... despite all of my high praise and love of this film.... i kept feeling like there was something missing or something that i missed.... it just felt slightly off.... so therefore i give it 4 out of 5 stars.... but before you go off and rail on my judgement hear me out.... i have a deep seated feeling that upon a 2nd or 3rd viewing this will change to 5 out of 5 stars.... there was just so much going on that i think it takes repeated viewings to truly enjoy this in it's entirety.... it's just that simple.... i know that it will end up in my movie collection and be a welcome addition.... i've also planned on going back into my comic book archieves and digging out the original comics so i can remember the joy i felt when i first read it.... but now i can see it through fresh eyes and put voices to the characters.... and i feel it'll be that much more enjoyable to read....

end of review, see this now. do not pass go, do not collect $200.... just go out and rent or buy it and sit down and delve into the world of the Watchmen for almost 3 hours.... it's well worth every minute of your life.... thank you to everyone involved with the making of this movie for bringing something to life that deserved a wider audience.... the end.

if you like this movie, you might want to watch: 'Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter', 'The Dark Knight' and read the comic book series

my thoughts on.... 'Hack!'

this movie made me wonder what the hell is going on with me lately....? this movie, yet again, has Kane Hodder in it....! granted he's a small part in the movie.... but he's in it.... and it took me by suprise.... also, if you ever wondered what happened to Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years....? well here she is....! Danica McKellar is basically the star of this movie.... and she hasn't changed much over the years.... but you'll have to see the movie to find that out....

this is another example of a movie that just peaked my interest because of the storyline and the people in it.... i watched it sight unseen.... and there are movies out there that are made to be just watched and enjoyed for what they are.... not for any deeper meaning or life changing affermations.... this movie is a popcorn flick.... a fun movie for a Saturday night when you have nothing going on and you just want to check out for an hour and a half.... and in my mind, that's one of the little joys in life....

the story involves some kind of field trip to a remote island with a group of stereotypical teenagers.... every type is cast.... it's so obvious that it's silly.... however, i think that was the point.... they're all pop culture obsessed and talk about horror movies a lot.... the group heads off to a small island ran by a strange couple who are also amateur filmakers.... soon people start disappearing one by one and ending up dead.... and that's just the beginning....
i really, really enjoyed watching this.... it was like a horror geeks movie made for horror geeks only.... it's not all that smart and it's not all that serious, but it's well worth the watch.... it's a fun little flick with a lot to enjoy with all the little references to movies we've all seen and love and conversations that we've all had with our friends.... this movie got a bum rap for trying to hard and not being well done.... but i disagree.... i think it did exactly what it was supposed to do and i'd watch it again....

3 out of 5 stars.... however, if you're going to watch this.... please don't expect too much.... and you'll be pleasantly suprised.... i promise.... if you're looking for the next 'Citizen Kane', then look elsewhere.... because Oscar worthy it ain't.

if you like this, watch: 'Scream', 'Club Dredd' and 'Scary Movie'

my thoughts on.... 'Infection'

i like my J-Horror just as much as the next guy.... but they're always hit or miss.... when they hit, they REALLY hit.... but when they miss.... they miss.... i came into this movie with no expectations and no real knowledge of the storyline.... it just seemed to intrigue me.... and sometimes those are the best experiences at the movies.... when you just come into it blank.

the storyline is that a man who's bleeding out from the inside is being rushed to the nearest hospital that will take him.... but no one seems to want to take him in.... the only hospital that is even remotely close to where the ambulance is, happens to be a hospital on the brink of shutting down.... they're running out of supplies, the nursing staff is minimal at best and the doctors are all disgruntled.... but they decide to leave him there whether they want them to or not.... soon he bleeds out and they find out that the infection is spreading to all of them.... and that's where things get messy, literally.
overall, as a horror movie, it's got a lot of strong points.... it's very well done visually and the tension is built at a nice even pace.... you never know exactly what's going on and there always seems to be something strange lurking around every corner.... it's extremely well thought out by the director.... the story is somewhat interesting.... the characters are fairly well developed, but as with a lot of J-Horror.... it gets complicated and surreal.... and not always in a good way.... i have to admit that i really wanted to like this movie.... but in the end i was left feeling really flat....

just for the good stuff up until the end, i'll give it 3 out of 5 stars.... would i recommend it....? no. it's available on Netflix OnDemand.... so you could do worse than this movie.... a lot worse.... it just seems like a good idea was wasted on a lame ending.... and it's a damn shame because this could have been one of the greats.... a classic.... oh well, they can't all be winners.... and you have to have the bad to appreciate the good....

if you like this or things like this, see: 'Audition', 'Machine Girl' and 'Tokyo Gore Police'

my thoughts on.... 'Cold Storage'

what is love....? it's a big question that has many answers.... and this movie is just one of those answers.... sadly, i came up with this same answer back in 2001 and wrote a short story very similar to this called, 'The Mortician: A Short Story of Longing'.... but that's for another time.... this is still an original movie with a twisted sense of itself and a good backbone in storytelling.... i found this on accident in the Netflix new releases to the OnDemand section and it caught my attention right off the bat.... and after watching it, i don't regret adding it to my queue....

the story revolves around a woman who heads to a small town to be in a play and leaves her boyfriend behind.... not in the best shape, relationship wise.... while on the way to the small town, she's in an accident and breaks her neck and ultimately dies on the road.... a passerby stops and you think he's going to help her and get her to a hospital.... instead, he puts her in his car and tows her car behind his back to his house.... where he proceeds to treat her like a living woman and falls in love with her.... and as she slowly begins to rot, things get interesting.... but it doesn't stop there.... the womans sister and boyfriend start looking for her.... and things just get strange from there....
there's not really much of a big name cast to speak of.... and it sometimes comes off a bit like the movie of the week on ABC.... but if you can get beyond those little things.... it's a gem of a movie.... a character study in human oddities and small town life, the dark side of it.... i really enjoyed all of the actors in this film and they way they portrayed their characters.... no one phoned in their performance and everyone was well cast.... it's a movie well worth your time and energy and never goes for the easy gross out.... it's more about the simple act of being crazy and loving a dead person.... so even those with a weak stomach can enjoy this movie....

3 out of 5 stars.... easy.... the story falls apart a little bit here and there and that's why i didn't give it a higher rating.... but beyond that it's and hour and a half well spent.... i would maybe even give it a second viewing.... granted it's not my story that i wrote.... but that doesn't mean it's crap.... so pop it in your Netflix queue and dig it.... i think you'll enjoy yourself.... but be careful driving on rural roads late at night and watch for low flying birds.

if you enjoy this movie, also watch: 'Kissed', 'Cemetary Man' and read my short story 'The Mortician: A Short Story of Longing' (or its sequel.)

my thoughts on.... 'The Descent' and 'The Descent: part 2'

when i first read about The Descent back before it came out, i wanted to see it.... then when i started to see the stills from the movie, i wanted to see it even more.... so when it came out on DVD, i bought it without even seeing it.... a risk....? yes. but i knew i was going to love it.... and i was not let down.... it lived up to every expectation that i had.... it combined my fear of small places and being trapped in a place you can't get out of that's pitch black.... Neil Marshall, the director, did an amazing job making you feel like you were the 7th member of the group that went into the cave.... he used every trick in the book to make this movie shine.... from the gut wrenching beginning all the way to the blood spattered ending.... he didn't let the horror fans down with the monsters, gore and blood....

the story involves Sarah who has a tragedy occur while on a thrill seeking adventure.... one year later, Sarah meets up with 5 of her friends for another thrill seeking trek into a cave.... they had intended on going to a well known cave where they would be safe.... instead, the girl who set up the trip, takes them to an unknown cave and doesn't tell them until it's too late to turn back.... they soon realize they're not alone and it's a fight for their lives to find an escape before they turn into fodder for the Crawlers....
this is a prime example of filmaking done right.... the director uses his locations to increase the tention and terror level in the film.... the creatures are frightening in every way possible.... from their movements to the sounds they make to they way that they kill.... it's a great movie for creature feature fans and gore hounds alike.... it also caters to those who want to see a movie with women in power over their fates and likes to see them rise to the occasion to kick some ass.... this movie has it all....

4 out of 5 stars easy.... without a second thought.... i recommend this movie as one of the best horror films of 2005.... but it doesn't stop their.... i soon heard they were making a sequel.... which is a dangerous game when you have such a strong opening story.... the director was no longer on board as the director, but he was still an executive producer.... so that made me feel a bit better.... but lets wait to talk about that until the next review....

if you like this.... the only other movie that's even close to being similar is 'The Cave'.... but stay away from that movie like the plague.

sequels are a dime a dozen these days.... with the direct to DVD market being saturated with unecessary sequels to movies that weren't that good to begin with.... or for an amazing film that then gets a crappy sequel in an attempt to start a franchise.... either way, it's difficult to find a good sequel.... and usually they get a theatrical release if they're worth anything.... so what about The Descent: part 2....? you ask. well, let's talk about it....

it picks up right where the first one left off.... the local police and expert cavers are searching in the wrong cave for the women that disappeared 2 days ago.... Sarah makes it to the local hospital, but has no memory of the past 2 days.... but for some reason, the sheriff decides he's going to take her back into the actual cave that they were in to lead the search party for the women.... they all go down and begin to search and soon they're introduced to the Crawlers as Sarah's memory starts to come flooding back.... it's a fight for everyone's life to make it out alive and without ruining the ending.... let's just say the ending left it wide open for a part 3....
despite the hesitation and apprehension i had about seeing this movie.... and the mixed reviews that i read.... i was pleasantly surprised.... it's a farily strong sequel and when you watch the first one right before watching this one, it makes a great night of horror film watching.... i enjoyed every moment of my revist of the original and the edge of my seat viewing of part 2.... the Crawlers are still just as creepy.... the cave still creates that feeling of claustrophobia.... the characters are a bit more of stereotypes than in the original.... but i can let it slide because of the quality of the film....

4 out of 5 stars for this one as well.... and if you've seen the first one, rent it and watch it again with this one.... or if you haven't, then watch them both together.... this is a good installment in what appears to be a possible franchise.... i just hope that if they do make a third, they don't destroy the joy that i felt with the first 2.... but i won't get my hopes up.... either way.... the first two are well worth your time.... so go out and rent them as soon as you can.... you won't regret it.... and if you do, i'd be suprised.... my only complaint is the very ending of part 2.... it's a bit of a let down.... but at the same time it peaked my interest.... so i guess it's a double edged sword....

if you like this movie.... again, there's not much more i can compare it too.... but i'll restate again to stay away from the far inferior 'The Cave' like your life depended on it.

my thoughts on.... 'Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield'

well, here we go again.... another film from the same folks who brought you 'B.T.K.' and 'Bundy'.... and yet again, it's not really all that good.... i should have known.... and i did.... but i wanted to watch it anyway to see how off they were with the story.... and once again, they remade history.... i mean, some of the facts were right, but so much of it was made up and Kane Hodder as Ed Gein was a very poor choice.... Ed was a fairly lean and small older man, not some beefy younger guy who looks like he'll rip your head off.... i have no idea what they were thinking when they cast him.... but i didn't make the movie so i guess i can't bitch.

the story follows most of the real plot lines.... he was a loner who lived in Plainfield, WI and was a mama's boy even after she died.... he lived in the house he grew up in and kept to himself for the most part.... most people would say he was a nice man, but a bit odd.... Kane's Ed Gein doesn't carry that part off.... he liked to rob newly dug graves containing women who reminded him of his mother.... and do bad things to their bodies.... everything but having sex with them.... that he said he never did.... ("they smelled to bad.").... they don't show much of him with the corpses, which was the majority of his sickness.... he turned their parts into lapshades, chair covers, bowls, pull chains, etc.... in this movie they barely touch on that.... the only thing they show is the full skin suit that he made out of different women's skin and sewed them all together....

all in all, it kept my interest.... but Ed Gein only confessed to killing two people and they only tried and convicted him for one.... they never found that he killed anyone else.... in the movie, they show Ed killing a few more folks than just 2.... granted they show one of the real killings and elude to another.... however, it was just so hard to get past Kane Hodder in the role.... i mean, he did fine.... he proved he has some acting chops.... it just didn't work.... and the ending was just lame.... it's not something i would recommend that you watch.... unless you're a Kane fan or you just have a lot of time to kill....

2 out of 5 stars.... it's available on Netflix OnDemand right now.... so at least it's free.... i think i just know too much about the history of Ed Gein to allow myself to enjoy this movie for what it was, a piece of entertainment.... Ed is shown in the movie to be a serial killer, but the reality is.... he never was. a sicko and a messed up guy, but not a serial killer.... by definition, he would have to kill 3 or more people to qualify for that title.... but he did inspire a slew of characters based on his life and crimes that are the serial killers of little kids nightmares and ones that we all know and love.... so for that i guess he'll always be remembered.

if you dare watch this, make sure and watch these too: 'Deranged' (the much better Ed Gein story), 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' (1974) and 'The Silence of the Lambs'

my thoughts on.... 'The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day'

before i even start this review.... what in the hell happened to Sean Patrick Flanery....?!?! he looks NOTHING like he did in the first film.... i kept thinking they just couldn't get him back for the sequel so they replaced him with someone who looked sort of like him.... but they didn't....! it was actually him....! and i didn't realize it until the credits rolled and i saw his name at the top.... so i ask again.... what in the hell happened to him that made him look so differently....?

so onto the review.....

i remember the first time i saw 'The Boondock Saints' and how cool i thought it was.... it was a good little movie with some cool gunfights, some cool characters and a fairly interesting storyline.... it had the makings of a cult classic.... but then nothing happened after that.... Troy Duffy (Director, Writer, Actor, etc) just kind of disappeared.... then i heard of a documentary called, 'Overnight'.... a fascinating look at someone's almost overnight rise to fame.... and how he handles it.... and he's really kind of a jerk.... he starts to believe his own hype and the more he tries to make 'The Boondock Saints II' the less likely it seems to be that it'll ever happen.... and that's kind of where we're all left.... and Troy Duffy just sits in limbo with no other projects and he drifts off into no where land....

fast forward 10 years later.... and it's finally here.... 'The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day'.... and i got excited to see where the characters have been all this time.... and as i sat down to watch it, i was instantly thrown back into the characters, the settings and the film itself and was reminded why i loved the first one to begin with.... and as the movie went on, there wasn't much new to see.... but i don't think Mr. Duffy was out to break new ground.... i think he just wanted to finish what he started.... and at that, he succeeded.
the saints have moved to Ireland and live on a sheep farm with their father and have been hiding out all these years from the law.... you might say they were on the "lamb" (yuck yuck).... when suddenly they get wind of a copycat killer back in their hometown who's trying to call them out by copying their style of killing, but on a priest.... this causes the boys to go back home ready to right the wrong and kill everyone involved that gets in their way.... of course during the trip, we run into all the old cast of characters.... including some new ones that have a familiar feel.... it's like going back home again and meeting some new friends and seeing some of the old ones.... it was comfortable....

it's not the original, but i really enjoyed it.... i was a little let down by the ending and could have used a strong finale.... however, i'm not Troy Duffy and these aren't my characters.... it'll be a part of my collection and i'm sure i'll have a Boondock Saints marathon and watch them back to back.... i'm not really sure i would want to see a 3 installment.... i think it's gone about as far as it can go.... so what did i think overall....? i'll be generous and give it 4 out of 5 stars (the same rating i gave the 1st movie).... because it's exactly what i wanted it to be.... something like the first movie, but something different.... it was like that new pair of shoes that's replacing the exact same pair of ones you had before.... they feel the same in ways, but they're not nearly as comfortable.... however, you know in time they'll be just as comfortable as the old ones you just need to give it time....

if you liked the first movie at all, i recommened you see the sequel.... end of story.

if you enjoyed this movie, also watch: 'The Boondock Saints', 'Equilibrium' and 'The Big Hit'