my thoughts on.... 'Chop' (2011)

With a simple title like 'Chop', this movie can easily sneak under the average film goers radar. It's unassuming and not your average big budget blockbuster. It's the dictonary definition of an indie film. Now, this little comedy nasty is directed by the writer of 'Deadgirl', Trent Haaga. Why he didn't write this? I'm not sure. You may have heard of 'Deadgirl' (if you read my review), but this one never got the same recognition, as it's not as controversial. Where as 'Deadgirl' was a very dark and twisted tale of the "undead" and other ugly things, this is more of a light hearted look at revenge. I actually had really high hopes after watching the trailer and I really enjoyed the first 3/4 of the movie. Towards then end though, it kind of started to fall apart just a bit. Not too mention that the ending was either the most satisfying ending ever written or the least satisfying ending ever written. I still am not sure exactly how I feel about the movie as a whole, since the ending was so.... um, odd. If you want to see it, before you finish this review, it's available on Netflix OnDemand as of this past week. Also, you may recognize the lead actor and are asking yourself, "Who the hell is that guy and where do I know him from?" His name is Will Keenan. He's the star of Troma's classic Shakespeare adaptaion, 'Tromeo and Juliet'. He really stands out in this movie and I kind of hope it finally gives him a bit more stardom than he's had before. Honestly, everyone in this movie seems to really be enjoying the whole experience. I think it has a lot to do with the somewhat original storyline. Let's get to that part, before going any further.

The plot is actualy quite simple. (taken from IMDB.com) "Lance Reed is forced by a psychotic stranger to confront his duplicitous past. Seeking retribution for a crime, the man forces Lance to reveal his inner most secrets by systematically removing his limbs." or there's this version: (taken from Netflix.com) "After accepting a ride when his car breaks down, Lance finds himself tortured by a man from his past he can't remember who holds a grudge for events Lance has forgotten. Now Lance must choose between saving the life of his brother or his wife." Both of these plot breakdowns are accurate. The simplest way of looking at this is, Lance has to remember what the heck he did to piss off his captor, before he has all his limbs chopped off.... literally. He's tortured for almost the entire movie, but not in the 'Hostel' way. It's much more psychological and comical. It gets to a point where you're not entirely sure what's going on anymore than Lance does. Not too mention that the cops aren't much of a help either. It's kind of brilliant.

You now have all of the pieces of the puzzle, but what you don't have is the ending. I'm not entirely sure that the writer did either. Like I said earlier, I can't determine how I feel about it. I don't want any spoilers here, just in case you decide to see it. And I don't know that I have a better ending in mind. It just felt too much like a student film. Perhaps that's my issue with it. The fact that it seemed like the typical student film finale. One that is supposed to be ironic or cool, but as the film maker gets more seasoned, they realize that they can do so much more to create a good ending. It doesn't make it bad, it just makes it feel a bit lazy. As the same time, it's so rare to see someone take a leap of faith and go for the gut punch ending. I can honestly say that I did NOT see the ending playing out the way it did. I really had no idea how it could end well. You're also given lots of possible solutions along the way, but they never really reveal much. It's refreshing.

Just like this movie, my review is disjointed and broken. It feels a slight bit unfinished, but I don't think it would have been so charming if it was done any other way. It's just a fun little movie. Plain and simple. Everybody in it seems to be having fun, therefore the viewer has fun and that makes you want to watch it again. That, to me, is the sign of a good film maker. I just hope that their next project is a bit more well polished. I'd love to see what they can do at full stregth. Even with all of the little negative bits, I still gave this movie 4 out of 5 stars. Mostly, for just being a good time and a bit of a 'no-brainer'. Just be open minded for the ending. If you don't over think it too much, you just might be plesantly surprised.

If you like this, check out: 'Deadgirl', 'Tromeo and Juliet' and 'Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!'

my thoughts on.... 'Zombie Girl: The Movie'

What was your biggest asperation when you were 12 years old? If you're Emily Hagins, then it's to make your first movie.... a zombie movie. Not a short film, but a full length feature. This documentary follows her from start to finish, as she attempts to complete her project. Along the way, she meets some amazing people, gets a cult following, builds a unique relationship with her parents (especially her mom) and tries to finish what she started. The crazy thing about this movie is the fact that whether you're 12 years old or 58 years old, it makes you wonder if you could make your own movie. This girl proves that anything is possible if you set your mind to it. Her dream took two years of her life and in the end, it was so worth it. This is a feel good movie and in a way is very similar to 'American Movie'. The only difference is age and background. I do wish that Emily's movie 'Pathogen' was included to watch, but maybe if I rented the DVD I'd have that option. I've also since followed up on her and she is still making movies, FYI.

The plot is pretty well laid out in my previous section of this review. The story revolves around 12 year old Emily Hagins and her pursuit of her dream of making a full length zombie movie. She enlists the help of her family, friends and a lot of local celebs. It's a story about blood, guts and determination. In the end, we all learn that it's not about how old you are, but how much desire you have to succeed. Here's another summary from Netflix.com: "Youth and inexperience were no deterrents to 12-year-old Emily Hagins when she set out to make her first full-length feature, the zombie flick Pathogen. This 2008 documentary chronicles her two-year endeavor from start to finish. With cameras focused on Emily and Mom -- who acts as agent, crew, producer and No. 1 fan -- the film illuminates indie moviemaking challenges and the wonder of being a plucky adolescent to whom anything seems possible."The only thing I wish about that they had done with this movie is included some more scenes from Emily's movie, 'Pathogen'. It felt like during the whole movie that we were on the road to seeing the end results, but it never paid off. Regardless of all of that, this is still a great documentary. Emily proves that she is an up and coming talent and shows that not all families are dysfunctional. It also proves that horror won't neccessarily destory the minds of the young. Granted, I think that Emily might be more of an exception that a rule.... but moderation is the key. She is a girl with a vision and it's so strong that it carries her all the way to completion of her project. That's quite a feat considering the fact that most kids her age are more concerned about puberty and self-image.... Emily is worried about whether or not her severed heads look real and if she's using enough blood or not. Those are real worries in my book.

All in all, a very solid 3 out of 5 star production. I would recommend this to documentary film lovers, horror film buffs, zombie movie goers and people who just love a good storyline. This movie has it all. I am curious to see the finished product and her other projects after this. I also kind of wonder where the future will take her? It seems like she has her own career mapped out, but how will the rest of the world see it? This also makes me regret that my zombie film project from college never got off the ground. It was in the final stages of production and only needed the okay on my main location, but sadly.... my college frowned on the use of it's buildings for production. Thus ended my zombie film. I instead, made a short experimental film called, 'Anybody's Taco?'. Anyway, check this movie out.

If you like this, also check out: 'American Movie', 'Hide and Creep' and 'Pathogen'

my thoughts on.... 'The Mad'

I'm a secret Billy Zane fan. I don't announce it outloud or too often, but I've been a fan ever since I saw 'The Phantom'. Granted, it wasn't a great movie, but he did the best he could with what he had. Not too mention, his role in 'Zoolander' was awesome. Anyway, I recently came across this little zombie comedy called 'The Mad'. It sounded vaguely interesting in concept, but then I saw that Mr. Zane was the star of it and I threw it into the top of my queue. Last night, despite feeling like garbage, I had the pleasure of watching this little indie gem from 2007. I don't know how this didn't get a little more press. There are a lot of other movies that came out around this time that were similar and not as good. I guess it's just the way things go. Anyway, it is not a new concept that is used in this movie. Some of it is done in a new way, but the overall idea is a rehash of other concepts. 'The Mad' has a very nice feel to it. While I was watching it, I found myself just smiling at the little situations going on. I think that's what put this movie ahead of other similar movies, Billy Zane's charisma.

The plot, according to Netflix.com: "On an outing to the country, a doctor and his daughter stop in a town known for its organic beef. But the travelers run up against a mutated virus that turns people into the undead and hamburger patties into ravenous killers." That pretty much sums it up. The only thing that's a bit inaccurate is that it's not just the hamburger patties, but slices of beef in general that's what makes this movie a bit different than the others. I mean, how often have you seen a prime cut of beef slid of a mans leg and attack him? I'm guessing.... never. Now, before you jump to an conclusions, the cows themselves don't attack people (that would have been pretty keen though!) it's more about their tainted meat. Literally.This movie shines as a labor of love of everyone involved. It doesn't seem like anyone in this movie wasn't having fun. They also took the material just seriously enough to make the concept believable and that just makes it that much funnier. It's not a fall down kind of a funny, but the kind that makes you want to rewatch what you've just seen. The effects are good, the actors are good and the direction is good. I'm a bit zombie lover, it's my bread and butter of horror. These days, every Tom, Dick and Harry make their own zombie movies. You can't throw a rock anywhere without hitting a low budget zombie flick. Sadly, the majority of them kind of suck. That's what made it so much more enjoyable when I stumbled across this one. A diamond in the rough.

In conclusion, despite all of the good points about this movie.... I still only found it to be 3 out of 5 stars. It is just a little slice of simple comedy/horror fun. It won't change the face of the genre or tread any new ground. It just is what it is and did what it set out to accomplish.... to entertain. I obviously enjoyed this movie and I absolutely recommend that you watch this. Anyone who enjoys any of the things I've written about this movie, throw it in the Netflix queue now as I returned my copy today. That means it'll be ready to rent by tomorrow or the next day. In the meantime, I'm having some beef tonight.... it's whats for dinner.

If you like this, you may also like: 'Shaun of the Dead', 'Black Sheep', 'Zombieland' and 'Dance of the Dead'

my thoughts on.... 'Who's The Caboose?'

The Netflix OnDemand streaming feature has proven itself to be the next evolution in movie watching. As if Netflix wasn't the greatest invention ever, this just improved upon it that much more. Thanks to OnDemand, I've found a lot of films that I'd have never seen before otherwise. 'Who's The Caboose?' is one of those movies. It's a little indie movie that, I guess, just made its way to DVD recently and Netflix made it an instant streaming movie right away. I found it because of my enjoyment of 'The Sarah Silverman Program'. (Again, thank you Netflix for finding other things for me to check out based on my likes and dislikes.) Now, this isn't the greatest thing since sliced bread or anything, but it's a good way to spend an hour and a half of your evening. It's funny where it needs to be, it's serious where it needs to be and it's clever in all the right places. The cast is a who's who of 90's comedy.... complete with Andy Dick, yes, Andy Dick. Most of the comedians are in the beginning of their careers or at least the earlier stages. Even back then, Sarah Silverman stood out as a comediane on the rise. She shines in every scene and is her usual, odd little self.

The premise of this is based on a documentary crew out to film homeless people in New York suffering from a rare and fatal disease that seems to only effect the homeless. After finding the topic to depressing they duck into a comedy club and find an up and coming comedian instead. Who they find is Sarah Silverman, about to head out to California to try her luck at landing a sitcom pilot. They follow her out along with her boyfriend and what happens next is their lives trying to make it in Hollywood. It's a pretty harsh look at the industry and the different way it treats people. Will she get her wish? Or will she end up back in New York as a struggling comedian? You'll have to watch to find out.... or read more reviews that are willing to give up the ending.

This movie really pulls no punches when it comes to the Hollywood system. I found it to be pretty smartly written and although it's not going to win any awards, it's still a damn good little flick. It's not restricted by it's budget, the film makers use it wisely with its mockumentary style. It was a little distracting in the beginning, but by the end it seemed really natural. It even had a satisfying ending, which a lot of movies can't seem to accomplish these days. It felt like it had a solid first, second and third act. This might not be a movie that I ever see again, but I would be more than happy to recommend it to friends as a worthwhile risk to take. (just make sure you have some interest in Sarah Silverman, if not.... you're going to dislike this one.)

'Who's The Caboose?' is a 'The Little Engine That Could' of indie/pilot season/Sarah Silverman movies. It'll sneak up on you, like a train, and make you feel a little warm and fuzzy inside by the end. I'm not sure that sentence just made sense, but that doesn't matter.... this is a 3 out of 5 star mocumentary with a small possablity of gaining some cult status. I could see that happening for those die hard fans of 90's comedians. David Cross, Kathy Griffin, Andy Dick, Sarah Silverman, H. Jon Benjamin, etc.... They're all here. (Sarah's little sister is even in this one, just like on her sitcom.) If I could change one thing about this movie? I think it's fine the way it is. Simple, silly and smart.

If you like this, check out: 'The Sarah Silverman Program' (TV), 'Freakshow' (animated TV) and anything from the early 90's.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Fanboys'

so you want to see a movie written for fanboys about fanboys....? well, this is that movie.... and for some reason, i'm wondering what took me so long to see it....?!?! this movie is full of inside jokes.... nerd jokes.... movie jokes.... comic jokes.... and quoteable moments.... this movie is every fanboys dream.... right down to the lead girl in the Lea bikini from 'Jedi'.... not too mention it's about the 'Star Wars' movies.... and even touches on the 'Star Wars' vs. 'Star Trek' battle.... it's full of funny cameos.... it's never boring and the script is hilarious.... this movie has just about everything you could ask for.... i don't know that anything i could write would really do it justice.... you just have to see it to enjoy it.... and it's already got a spot on my DVD shelf for the day that i own it.... and, oh yes, i will own it.... this is one of those movies that you can watch over and over and enjoy it every time.... i think this will stand the test of time....

the premise involves the upcoming release of 'The Phantom Menace' and a group of fanboys who are counting down the days to see it.... they even have a plan to make a trip to Skywalker ranch to steal a print and see it 6 months before anyone else.... all of this is just talk until they find out that one of them has cancer and may not live to see it's release.... so they start off on a roadtrip across country to see if they can make their dream come true....
this movie has so much going for it.... and there is one scene in particular involving two famous folks that made me laugh so hard i nearly passed out.... and then pooped myself.... granted the whole movie doesn't have moments like that.... but it's still a very funny and entertaining movie.... something that i gave 4 out of 5 stars and recommend that all fanboys and girls go and watch.... if you haven't seen it already.... i know i look forward to seeing it again.... it's a rollercoaster ride of comedy and drama that is a just a great example of what good filmaking should be.... go watch it tonight....

other movies to watch: 'The Phantom Menace', 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' and 'Film Geek'

my thoughts on.... 'Film Geek'

it's been a slow month of reviews for me.... and sadly, i have a backlog of films to review.... so i may just have to review them in short to catch up.... however, this film caught me off guard and kind of pumped me up to write something.... so here i am.... this is one of those little diamonds in the rough.... something i stumbled across on Netflix OnDemand and decided to delve into.... and i was not sorry i did.... this is a gem of a movie.... one that is near and dear to my heart.... i mean, i used to work at a video store and at a record store and i have always considered myself a bit of a media geek.... all things entertainment.... and especially film.... so to see it represented in a film like this is refreshing and fun.... and i had no idea how they would carry an entire film around this character and his love of movies, but it's so well done that it kind of created a 'DUH' moment at the end.... it made me wonder why i second guessed it in the first place..... think of the first time you saw 'Clerks' and you'll get the idea.... this is kind of along those same lines.... but in color....

the story centers around a video store clerk who runs his own website http://www.scottysfilmpage.com/ and who knows all there is to know about film.... to the point of being annoying about it.... pushing too much of it onto the customers, the employees and anyone else who's in range.... and at first you feel that same sense of annoyance that they do, but gradually you come around to love him in a weird sort of way.... and you take up his plight of being a film geek in a world of merely movie watchers.... he soon meets up with a fellow film lover, who starts to broaden his horizons a bit and Scotty begins to grow a little.... granted, he never leaves his geekdom far behind.... i don't want to give away the whole plot as part of the joy is taking the journey with him.... but let's just say it's worth the price of admission....i gave this 4 out of 5 stars for being a great film for those whole love the medium and for those who just want to be entertained.... i can't say enough good things about this film and i highly recommend it to anyone with an hour and ten minutes on their hands.... it's worth it.... i don't know how easy it is to track down on DVD, but i'll be looking.... so stop reading and go watch.... NOW....!

if you enjoy this, check out: 'Clerks', 'High Fidelity' and my own life story

my thoughts on.... 'Sick Girl'

filmakers fascinate me.... as i've been on both sides of the lens, i find the whole process intriguing.... i've been director, cinematographer, screenwriter and actor.... finding a creative story and one that has the certain 'it' factor is rare.... this movie was one of those movies that got under my skin and despite it's shortfalls, it was still something unique.... maybe the story wasn't original in all aspects, but it just didn't matter.... i fell in love right away.... now you may find that disturbing once you see the film.... however, there's just something about it.... before i get on the review.... this movie is not available OnDemand on Netflix, but it's available to download and was one of those strange movies i just stumbled across while messing around on the Netflix site.... (a daily thing i do.).... needless to say, the title is not just a way to get your attention.... it really describes the film and it's star.... Leslie Andrews.... who is hypnotizing to watch....

Izzy and her little brother basically live on their own after their older brother goes off to Iraq.... their friend Benny watches over them as much as he can, but he has a life of his own and isn't always there.... neither of them know what Izzy is really up to.... she has a violent streak a mile wide and has very little pity for anyone and i mean anyone.... the movie opens with Izzy doing something nasty to a nun, doing something nasty to a schoolbus full of kids and then does something nasty to two random boys on the road.... that's just in the first 10 minutes.... it just gets worse from there.... as she continues on her silent rampage across her small town totally unknown to anyone except her victims.... that's all i'm going to say.... the rest just needs to be seen.
this is not a gentle film.... it's not heartwarming or at least not for long.... it's wrong on many different levels but there's some kind of poetry to it.... something i can't quite explain.... i'm sure you'll all think i'm nuts once you see it.... i just couldn't get enough of the film.... and i sent it right back this morning, as i wanted to remember it fondly and watch it again after it has time to settle.... i'd like to even own it, if i can ever find it anywhere.... perhaps on Amazon.... it blends a lot of different genres.... and some people may equate it with torture porn, but that's a genre definition that i don't agree with.... i think it's bogus and in this film it doesn't hold any more true than any other "torture porn" movie.... granted there are horrific things done to all ages of people.... but it has a point.... it just shows how truly disturbed our anti-hero Izzy is.... and she's pretty damn messed up....

after it ended i automatically gave it 4 out of 5 stars.... the only real drawbacks are some of the low production values.... but it's a low budget film.... so i can forgive the drawbacks of a lack of money.... the story is so strong and the characters so interesting that i couldn't take my eyes off of it the whole time.... and i wanted the experience to never end.... from the hard hitting beginning all the way to the gut punching ending.... it grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go.... plain and simple, i loved it.... so if anything i've said catches your interest at all.... go out and rent it asap and let me know what you think.... but you have been warned, it's not for the faint of heart.... 'Sick Girl' is film going experience, not a movie to casually just watch.

my thoughts on.... 'Home Sick'

the tagline for this movie reads, "Who do you hate?".... well, i hate the director of this movie.... and because of that, i'm going to keep this brief.... this movie is a mess.... the script is fairly lame.... the killer is some reject from an S&M club.... the acting is piss poor.... the direction is confusing.... it has little, if anything, to offer your average horror movie lover.... just plain stay away....

the only redeeming quality of this sloppy, slap shot movie is Bill Moseley's one and only scene.... he steals the entire movie from the rest of the cast.... he's resembles a less creepy Chop Top from 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2'.... and his star quality overshines every other aspect of the movie.... so if you're going to rent this or watch it on Netflix OnDemand.... fast forward to Bill's scene and then shut if off....
1 out of 5 stars for the crappy movie itself.... and 3 1/2 stars out of 5 for Bill Moseley's inspired performance.... the only saving grace in this turd.

Merry Christmas.

my thoughts on.... 'Run! Bitch Run!'

you have to love your movies low budget before i would recommend this one to anyone.... that being said.... are you a fan of 70's exploitation movies....? have you ever seen the film 'Thriller: They Call Her One Eye' and enjoyed it....? did you enjoy the throwback films of 'Grindhouse'....? if you answered yes to any or all of these questions then you should probably throw this on into your Netfilx OnDemand queue right now and plan for a night of rampant nudity, blood, violence and guns.... not too mention a scene with a machete that has to be seen to be believed.... trust me, it's new.... the director's and producers went to great lengths to create the entire experience of the exploitation movies of old.... from the soundtrack to the cinematography to the cars used in the movie.... it's the whole package.... granted, it's VERY low budget and has it's share of flaws, but if you can overlook that one little thing, it's worth your time....

Rebecca and Catherine are two catholic girls selling religious items door to door as mission work.... they end up in the small town of Moseley where they end up knocking on the wrong door.... soon they find themselves being held captive by the local drug lord, pimp and all around bad dude.... along with his two partners, they torture the girls and their beliefs.... meanwhile covering their other misdeads.... soon they end up in the woods where Catherine is raped and left for dead.... after finding her way back to civilization, she trades her rosary for a pump action shotgun, some blades and a nurses outfit and she's out to get revenge on the people who ruined her life as well as her friend....
this movie has very little redeeming qualities.... and of course, why would it....? it's all about how much nudity, violence and revenge can you pack in an hour and a half movie....? and boy do they pack it in to the brim.... at first it took a bit to get involved in the storyline, but i always give any movie a chance.... and soon i found myself deeply engrossed in these girls lives.... and i cared about what happened i wanted to see them pay.... and i got that in spades....

i can't say that this is the best film i've seen in a long time.... but it's worth 3 out of 5 stars.... and it's OnDemand on Netflix right now.... this is something to watch with a group of friends or with a beer and some popcorn.... it's a throwback movie to a different time.... and it's fun to take that trip for a little while.... i felt a little dirty afterwords, but hey.... it's part of what you expect when you go into this kind of movie.... so if you can tolerate a little low budget filmaking and a 'Last House on the Left' vibe then this may be the movie for you.... if not.... you may want to find something a little less offensive....

Run! Bitch Run! Trailer from Freak Show Entertainment on Vimeo.

my thoughts on.... 'Meat Market' and 'Meat Market 2'

bad movies are bad movies.... low budget movies are low budget movies.... and many times the two are usually tied together.... in this case, the rule is not the rule.... granted this movie is shot on a home video camera and the production values are not great, but you can feel that this director had the passion for the project and it shone through the limitations of his budget.... and that goes a long way.... if you believe in something enough, go for it.... live the dream.... these movies have a lot going for them.... there are some parts that are a bit lame and confusing.... but you take the little bit of bad to overcome the overall good.... but if you do decide to invest the time in these movies, be warned they are VERY low budget.... the acting isn't great and the special effects are pretty poor....

the running story involves the take over of society by zombies.... pretty basic.... and our main characters are just struggling to survive the apocalypse as best the can.... and along the way they gather up some other survivors who are also sharing the same goal.... throughout the story we find out that the zombies were created because of a government experiment that was rushed along involving tiny nanobytes (i think that's what they were called.).... we also find out the three of the suvivors that join our heros are vampires who're out for the same goal of destroying the zombies, because they're taking up all of their food supply and i guess zombie blood just tastes gross.... at the end of the first film, there's a showdown and we're left with a bit of a cliffhanger.... as the second movie opens.... it's a year later and the plague just keeps getting worse.... they soon find a commune type area where a group is trying to rebuild society, in the worst way possible.... almost in a third reich kind of way.... and the rest goes on from there.... i don't want to spoil the ending, but it feels pretty fresh even though the director borrows heavily from other zombie classics....
there are plenty of WTF moments in the movie.... and some obvious attempts to shock for shocks sake and to have nudity just to have nudity.... but if you can see beyond that and the low quality, it's a very engrossing set of movies.... i found myself caring about the characters and rooting for them to succeed.... not to mention, i can say i saw this directors first movies before he became famous.... (if that should ever happend.).... overall, i really enjoyed the time i spent in his world of zombies and vampires....

3 out of 5 stars for both.... i can't go much higher because there were some aspects that were very unecessary.... and the 2nd movie doesn't hold up the high standards of the first.... at least not the whole way through.... regardless, i recommend this for someone who wants a fresh feeling zombie flick and has the time to watch them.... they're free to watch on Netflix OnDemand.... but you MUST have an open mind if you're going to view these.... it's just that simple.

if you like this, check out: 'Shatter Dead', 'Dance of the Dead' and 'Undead'

my thoughts on.... 'Dead Meat'

Irish zombies. that should be enough to get your attention.... that's what this little gem of a movie is.... an Irish zombie film.... and not a bad little one at that.... for a no budget horror film.... it vaguely reminds me of 'Bad Taste', Peter Jackson's first film.... entertaining and clever, but you can tell it was all friends and family involved and the effects were done in someone's garage.... with oatmeal, water, flour and corn syrup.... however, it doesn't really take too much away from this movie....

the story is simple.... almost a copycat of 'Night of the Living Dead'.... boy and girl in car come across corpse.... corpse bites man, woman runs.... woman finds other man who helps her.... they find more people to join in their little band of survivors.... and blood and guts are chewed.... sounds pretty familiar, right....? but i'll say it again, don't let that take too much away from this movie.... it deserves an audience....
the characters are likeable.... you can tell someone put a lot of heart into the making of the movie.... the locations are beautiful and green.... the zombies are pretty well done.... and you gotta love the couple that they join up with that sound like Brad Pitt in 'Snatch'.... i couldn't understand one damn word they said other than the 'F' bomb.... and that was dropped quite a bit.... i'm not 100% sure i would give this as high of reviews as i am if it wasn't for them.... they added a nice twist....
oh, did i mention that the zombies were created due to a strain of mad cow disease....? and that there are zombie cows....?!?! how could i forget that....?

all in all, worth a beer and a bit of your time.... who knows.... maybe the director will be as big as Peter Jackson became and you can say you knew who he was back when he directed 'Dead Meat'.... i'll give it a solid 3 out of 5 stars.... i'm taking some of my love away due to the ending.... it was a bit too abrupt.... check it out via Netflix OnDemand while you can.... and if Fangoria puts there stamp of approval on it, you don't even have to take just my word.... i've got back up.... man do i love me some zombies....!

if you enjoy this movie, check out: 'Bad Taste', 'Dead Alive' and 'Undead'

my thoughts on.... 'Hide and Creep'

i'm all for low budget horror films.... and Troma is the king of that genre, but Troma this ain't.... but for some reason this one kept popping up as a film i would enjoy.... and it was available on Netflix OnDemand.... so i eventually caved and put it in the queue.... and the other night i went ahead and invested the time to watch it.... let's start by saying that the quote on the poster above is not true at all.... it's nowhere close to 'Shaun of the Dead'.... yes, it's a comedy.... yes, it's a zombie movie.... but no, it's not nearly as good.... now that's not to say that it's not without its charm....

it basically starts out with some confusing but typical zombie movie situations.... except for the naked man falling out of the tree.... yes, i said a naked man falls out of a tree.... so long story short.... zombies have taken over.... people band together to fight them.... blood and guns ensue.... and then credits roll.... that's about it.... however bland that sounds.... it's still a fun little slice of low budget goodness....
the comedy is dry and poorly timed.... the acting is dinner theater at best.... the script is creative, but the budget needed to be larger and the characters developed more to really showcase the raw talent that was behind the curtain.... the characters are likeable.... and there are some laugh out loud moments.... it almost feels like a poor man's 'Clerks' + 'Night of the Living Dead'.... or at least that's what it seemed like they were going for.... all in all, i guess what i'm saying is that if you have an hour and a half, a few beers and nothing better to fill you time.... watch this movie.... probably with friends would be my suggestion....

cult classic....? nah. something that will last the test of time....? nah. does it show promise....? yes. i'd be interested to see what comes next from this filmaker and writer.... they did the best they could with the budget they had.... and that's all you can really ask for in this type of movie.... i mean, it's not 'Waterworld'.... right....? (3 out of 5 stars)

if you enjoy this movie, check out: any movie made by Mark Palonia