Showing posts with label not very good. Show all posts
Showing posts with label not very good. Show all posts

Saturday, August 31, 2013

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! - my thoughts on.... 'Rise of the Zombies'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

Possible *Spoilers!* in this review. You probably won't care anyway, the movie isn't that good to begin with.

SyFy doesn't have the best reputation when it comes to making movies. They're notorious for making sub-par z-grade horror and science fiction movies. If you go into them not expecting much, you probably will get your money's worth. If you go into them expecting Oscar winning masterpieces? You will be sadly let down. The thing is, when they do tongue in cheek flicks that are meant to be stupid, they're successful! When they make attempts at serious horror or sci-fi, they fall flat on their faces. This was a serious attempt. Granted, they had a decent cast of b and c-level actors, but everybody seemed to be phoning in their performances. LeVar Burton was particularly bad. I kept wanting to sing the 'Reading Rainbow' song and change it too 'Bleeding Rainbow'. Danny Trejo was about the only worthwhile performance, but his time was shorter than most of the other actors. Oh well, he was probably getting paid more than they were. That being said, this movie started out okay. When the cast was still in the prison, you had a good start and a good premise. But the characters are so incredibly stupid with their decision making that they quickly loose their foot hold at the prison and are soon on the run. Why would you take a prison and NOT lock it down? I mean, they seem to know that zombies are washing up on shore pretty regularly, yet they're out there playing in the surf. What the heck people? Is it any surprise that you'll suddenly be attacked? And then to not have a plan to lock things down?!?! Pure garbage. From there on out, it's one bad decision after another. Nothing makes sense and everything they do just gets them in more trouble, that they shouldn't have gotten into in the first place! Dumb.

The "plot" goes like this: During a zombie apocalypse ,a group of survivors hide on Alcatraz Island to escape from rising zombie hordes. When their refuge is overrun, and upon hearing that a scientist may have discovered a cure, they leave the island to seek him out. That's the basic outline. Once they're back on the mainland, they split up.... due to a disagreement on what to do next and all hell breaks loose.

The writers of this piece of crap, tried to pay homage to zombie movies that have come before.... but they do is so poorly. Nothing fits in this storyline and everything seems forced and cliched. I really wanted to like the characters and to root for them to win. I really did. Ultimately, I ended up hating all of them and wanted the credits to just start rolling. I'm assuming that the director felt the same way. The reason I say this? It's because he eventually started throwing in more and more outlandish nonsense into the scenes, so as to spice it up. It was more for shock and awe than for any sort of plot development. It made me feel dirty. Really, really dirty.

In the end, I don't recommend that you do what I did and sit through this movie. There are SO many other low budget zombie movies out there that are so much better. This one just falls flat on it's face and has little to nothing going for it. There's no new ground covered here. There's no memorable characters or scenes. There's just no meat on the bone. This movie is what's leftover after someone else has made their own b-grade zombie movie. It's nothing but half rotted scraps and throw away's. Sorry to everyone involved.... it's just the way it is. Yuck.

I don't recommend this, instead watch: 'Shatter Dead', 'Meat Market' or 'Meat Market 2' (for low budget zombie movies with something to offer)

2 out of 5 stars

Friday, March 2, 2012

wow.... this is NOT good.... ep 21 of 'The Sunshine Happy Kpants Hour'.... wow.

The 21st episode of 'The Sunshine Happy Kpants Hour' is uploaded and now available through iTunes, Talkshoe and streaming LIVE right here!

I hate to say this, but after the edit was done and I listened to some of the playback, I realized how bad this turned out. The music is awesome, but the content is messed up. A bit of feedback, skipping and the levels are wonky. I promise for something better next week. Try and ENJOY!

Songs played:

1) I'm All, So You're All by Automatic Static

2) Holding Out For Spring by Jonnie Murphy

3) Cute Yellow Pills by Little Plastic Stars

4) One More Morning by Heights Alliance

5) She Fell Asleep by Coed Pageant

6) Apples by Kate Martin

Thursday, August 18, 2011

my brief thoughts on.... 'Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead'

Let me start by saying that I'm not a big fan of the Eliza Dusku original 'Wrong Turn'. I've seen it, but it didn't do a whole lot for me. The sequel, 'Wrong Turn 2: Dead End' starring Henry Rollins, was a whole different story. I enjoyed that one a lot and it just made more sense overall. Needless to say, I was hesitant to watch a direct to DVD release of the 3rd movie. It just didn't sing to me, at all. For some reason, curiousity got the best of me and I watched it last night. What I saw, I didn't hate.... but I was very far off from loving it. It only had two of the mutant inbred killers in it and it just felt low quality. The plot was trying to be original and just came off as kind of silly. There are huge continuity errors and implausabilities. It is what it is, cheap and simple.

The plot, this time around is: (from Netflix.com) "A group of friends heads for the woods, only to end up on the menu for a cannibalistic mutant known as Three Finger. Only Fonda (Janet Montgomery) manages to survive, and she's soon joined by a truckload of escaped convicts also fleeing the ravenous freak. Throw in a cache of stolen money to distract the escapees and an unsuspecting search party, and it's a virtual smorgasbord for Three Finger." Does that plot sound interesting to you?There are no stars in this, but the director Declan O'Brien is famous for directing the amazing 'Sharktopus'. (i'm being sarcastic) The plot feels old and redone. The killers are kind of silly. The directing and film quality are subpar. The only real reason to watch this, is to keep some kind of continuity in the world of 'Wrong Turn'. This is a 2 star outing instead of 1 star for two reasons. 1) It feels very old school horror, like an installment in the 'Friday the 13th' series. 2) It has some interesting kills. They're over the top and pretty silly, but you can't help but have fun anyway. I gave it 2 out of 5 stars for being a one off watching experience.

The 4th installment is already underway and soon to be released. Luckily it sounds like an origin story/prequel. That could prove interesting, if done right. I just don't know if I'll ever understand the attraction of the killer deformed hillbilly's.

If you like this, go ahead and watch the other three, 'Wrong Turn', 'Wrong Turn 2: Dead End' and 'Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings'

Thursday, June 9, 2011

my very brief thoughts on.... '8213: Gacy House'

When 'The Blair Witch Project' came out, the whole "found fottage" phenomenom was brand new. Now days, it's everywhere. It's an inexpensive way to make your first movie and a lot of people are taking advantage of that. Some have been pretty effective, then there's '8213: Gacy House'. I'm not saying it's ineffective, but it is not as good as some of the others movies like this that i've seen. I do feel like it's kind of in bad taste to use the tragedy of John Wayne Gacy's crimes as a backdrop for this movie. I can't think of any movies that have used the ghost of a real serial killer as the main villan. I remember the whole John Wayne Gacy story. I was alive when it all went down and even celebrated on the night of his death with friends. Because of all that, I have to say I felt this was a little bit in bad taste. Granted, there is a pretty big niche market for movies that are being made about serial killers. There are a few examples of big budget ones, like 'Zodiac' by David Fincher. Then there are countless others that are made on a low budget and for the lowest common reasons. Like 'Dahmer', 'Gacy', 'Bundy', etc. I've seen some of these and for the most part they're exactly what you'd expect. Direct to DVD stuff that is just made to cash in on a famous name. Some of them feature big named b-grade actors and same make the careers of future actors. Case in point: 'Dahmer' starred a young Jeremy Renner. I felt like he was the only worthwhile aspect of that movie. He brought that character to life and now look at him. He's quickly becoming the toast of Hollywood. Anyway, I'm off track. '8213: Gacy House' is less about the real events of his life, but more about the fictional events of his afterlife.

This is the basic breakdown of the plot from both http://www.imdb.com and http://www.Netflix.com: "A group of paranormal investigators enter the abandoned home of pedophile and serial killer John Gacy, hoping to find evidence of paranormal activity. Upon entering the house they set-up cameras throughout the abandoned house while going room to room with hand-held cameras, performing séances and asking for John Gacy to come forward. As the evening progresses it seems the investigators are not prepared for the horror still within the house. Although Gacy's house of horrors has long since been demolished, with another house erected in its place, the tortured spirits of his 33 victims seem to be alive and well." I can say that this is pretty much the exact storyline. 6 people walk into a supposed haunted house of a former serial killer to find out the truth about the hauntings and no one walks out alive. This is the fottage of that night found later. BOO!

Don't get me wrong, I love a lot of these kinds of movies. 'The Blair Witch Project' even made it into my 'Top 50 Films Of All Time' list. There is something eerie about them. I've always been fascinated by ghosts and realized a long time ago that we might not ever have real proof of paranormal activty caught on camera. Therefore, these types of movies are the closest thing to that for me. I felt kind of dirty watching this because of what it was cashing in on, but at the same time I was looking forward to seeing it as it looked like a decent example of the found fottage genre. It reminded me quite a bit of 'Death of a Ghost Hunter' in the feel of the movie. I'm pretty sure it was in the same budget as well. It's OnDemand right now and may or may not be worth your time, but I don't recommend you renting it.

What I liked about this movie was the cast, they were pretty good. I liked the location, it was pretty effective for a ghost story. I liked the cinematography, it was fairly well done for this kind of movie. What I didn't like, was the fact that the house looked damn good for being abandonded for so long. I also didn't like the fact that this isn't the original house (as it was no longer around) but a rebuilt house. The cast still treated it like it was the original house that the crimes occured in. It overall just just felt kind of off. I'm not 100% sure why that is, perhaps it was the ghost in his 'wife beater' shirt and tighty whitey's attacking one of the victims. Who knows? For taking a new spin on an old genre, I gave it 2 out of 5 stars. I may be being generous or perhaps it's something else. Either way, you're watching this movie at your own risk. I am not planning on seeing it again at any point. Perhaps the next movie from these people will be better, perhaps it will be about spending the night in the apartment across from where Jefery Dahmer lived in Michigan! OOOO, scary. I'll stick with my 'Paranormal' Activity' and the like.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Sleeping With The Enemy' (1991)

I loved the 90's. It was some of the best times for me growing up. Sadly, it wasn't the best time for movies. There were quite a few of those pesky sexy, revenge thrillers being made and this was one of them. It starred an up and coming starlet named Julia Roberts and a cast of other people. It was based on a book and just plain wasn't very good. I started watching it while at work on my lunch break and felt compelled to finish it. Luckily it was OnDemand from Netflix. I took it upon myself to finish it once I got home and I kind of wish I would have watched 'Everybody Loves Raymond' instead.... and I don't even know if I like that show as I've never actually watched it. This movie had a couple of redeeming qualities, but overall it was kind of a big bust. It felt like I was staring at a glass house, there was all of these things inside but I saw them all early on and there weren't any surprises. This movie was so predictible that I kind of wonder if the book was even worth reading. It must have had something going for it since Hollywood felt it needed to be brought to the big screen. Maybe it was just a reason to keep Julia Roberts in the limelight? Who knows....

The really easy to figure out plot goes like this, according to http://www.imdb.com: "Laura and Martin have been married for four years. They seem to be the perfect, happiest and most successful couple. The reality of their house- hold, however, is very different. Martin is an abusive and brutally obsessed husband. Laura is living her life in constant fear and waits for a chance to escape. She finally stages her own death, and flees to a new town and new identity. But when Martin finds out that his wife is not dead he will stop at nothing to find and kill her." Can you guess how it ends? I bet you can if you think really hard.

I'm not going to go as far as to say that I wish I had the time back that I used watching this. It wasn't as terrible as all of that. It's just that it felt like a carbon copy of every other movie of this kind that was made in the 90's. Also, can we get an ending that the audience doesn't see coming from 1000 miles away? The good stuff in this movie are Julia Roberts, the pacing of the movie and the cinematography. The bad stuff is the acting, the script and everything else. Does anyone see a 'Sleeping With The Enemy 2: Weekend At Martin Burney's' being made sometime later this year? I'm guessing that Lindsay Lohan might be available to take over the Julia Roberts role.

Because of the good things, I gave it 2 out of 5 stars. It's kind of interesting to see the rise of a superstar. It did hold my interest until the end and I'm guessing that there are a lot of folks out there that love this movie. It may have been predictable, but it was still better than the Jennifer Lopez versions of these kinds of movies that came out later. Ugh. SPOILER: you don't actually see any sleeping during the movie by Julia Roberts.... with or without the enemy.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Ju-On 2' (2003)

if you watched 'Ju-On' (2000) the movie that started the whole franchise machine of 'Ju-On' and the American counterpart 'The Grudge'.... then you've seen 30 minutes of 'Ju-On 2' already.... yup, they recycle a whole lot of the footage from the first movie.... which doesn't lend itself to a great sequel.... not that the original was all that great to begin with.... it was death after death and a confusing plot inbetween.... the second one kind of follows the same formula, but with only an hour of new movie.... kind of feels like cheating, you know....? i personally found the remakes of part 1 and 2 to be much better than the originals.... i rarely say that, but it's true.... i did hate part 3, but they can't all be winners.... the same thing holds true for 'Ringu' and the American counterpart 'The Ring'.... the remake was so much better than the original.... actually, 'The Ring' holds up as a great horror movie all on its own.... but stay away from 'The Ring 2'.... good god it's a trainwreck of a movie with no redeeming qualities.... ugh....

i can't say that i even remember exactly what the plot was from this movie.... but what i do remember is that the house from the first one is re-visited and the killings start again.... the woman and the little boy start popping up all over town killing those who've entered the home.... that is pretty much it....
in the end, i'm kind of surprised that i gave this 2 out of 5 stars.... i guess i'm a sucker for the stringy haired ghosts from Japan.... they creep me out.... but in this movie, she's not scary.... the story isn't great.... there just isn't much good to mention about this movie.... nothing at all.... which all in all is a damn shame.... it just means that it's one more nail in the coffin for these types of ghost stories.... maybe they're overdone, but i don't care.... i like em'.... just not this one.

if you actually watch this, don't blame me.... i didn't make you

my extremely brief thoughts on.... 'The Men Who Stare At Goats'

Wow. What can I say? This movie had so much potential. It featured an amazing cast, a fairly interesting concept, and it looked like it would set itself up for some funny gags. Instead, we got a movie that was just plain bad. I tried to love this movie. Hell.... I even tried to LIKE this movie! It was all too much to handle. Nothing seemed to work everything seemed like it belonged in another movie, a better movie.

2 out of 5 stars at best. It was a waste of the time and talent of several good actors and I felt like it was also a bit of false advertising. I enjoyed maybe 2 or 3 scenes, but that was it. I don't know what else to say. Don't waste your time on this one. Check Netflix and rent something that the actors did other than this.

Staring at goats? I'd rather write my reviews in the proper English format.

Some other movies to watch from these 4 actors: 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?', 'The Fisher King', 'Shallow Grave', and 'Se7en'

Saturday, August 28, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'The Silent Scream' (1980)

i don't normally write any part of a review before i've seen the movie.... but in this case i'll make an exception.... the only reason being is that i remember this movie from when it came out.... not because i saw it then.... but because of the advertising campaign.... it scared the hell out of me.... they built up the movie as being something that people shouldn't see if they have a heart condition as it's so scary.... it was a very effective add campaign for someone who's only 6 years old.... and it's saying something if it's stuck with me this long.... so finally i'm going to sit down and watch this horrific slasher movie and hope i don't die of fright.... it would seem that my 'classic' slasher trend continues thanks to Netflix OnDemand's sudden surge of OnDemand old school horror movies.... that being said.... here i go to watch and when you read the next paragraph you'll be reading my post viewing thoughts....

so.... almost 30 years later and now i can check it off the list of movies that i might just need to watch.... and let me say.... well.... i can't say it was worth the wait.... the marketing people were smart and sold it well, but they really didn't have the goods to back it up.... i do, however, give it credit for originality and style points.... but that's just because it was a somewhat different take on the traditional slasher genre film.... there were no woods, no masked figures.... i would liken it more to 'Black Christmas' (1974) than anything else.... it had a lot of the typical 80's cliches.... and the deaths were few in the beginning and most at the end.... however, i just don't know exactly what to make of this.... one interesting note.... the main police officer in this movie played one of the main bad guys in the recently watched 'Toolbox Murders'.... odd coincidence....
the plot involves some college kids boarding with a strange family.... some people start dying and via some twists and turns we find out who the killer is.... that's the basic premise....

due to the buildup in my head and the overall execution of the movie, i would give it 2 out of 5 stars.... not great, but not the worst i've seen.... it didn't hold up well with the test of time and was far from scary or anything.... it was just kind of there.... and the story just kind of played itself out like it was an afterthought.... basically, nothing to write home to mom about.... i don't ever need to see it again and now that the mystery is over, i can mark it off my childhood trauma's list.... it frightens me no more....

similar movies: 'Black Christmas' (1974), 'The Toolbox Murders' (1978) and 'Psycho' (1960) - this one being a BIG strech as i LOVED 'Psycho'.... but there are some strange similarities, sort of

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'Dead Tone'

i had NO clue that this movie was going to be hosted by Flava Flav.... not that he really had much more than a 30 second cameo at the beginning.... but it still set a tone for the movie right off the bat that it was going to be sub par.... it ended up being not quite the steaming pile of crap that i was expecting.... but it was by no means good.... as a matter of fact, if you've ever seen any of the movies put out after 'Scream' came out.... then you pretty much get the idea what this movie is going to be like.... yet another 90's horror movie rip off.... however, this was made in 2007.... a few years too late.... or a full decade.... the killer runs around in a hooded parka kind of furry thing.... there's a twist ending.... pretty girls, pretty boys.... a predictable plot.... there's just nothing original here at all.... but yet i watched the WHOLE thing.

some kids make prank phone calls.... one of the people they call comes to their house and kills everyone but the kids.... (the kids parents were having a party, so there were lots of adults to slaughter).... the kids grow up and get moved around into foster homes or are adopted.... one of them insists on continuing to make prank phone calls and calls it '75'.... if you can keep the person on the line for 75 seconds without breaking any of the rules, you win.... at a big party they play the game and end up calling the wrong person again and soon a large amount of killing with an axe occurs.... things happen, a twist happens, another twist and then (thank god) it ends.i'm not sure it deserves 2 out of 5 stars.... but i did it anyway.... perhaps i was just feeling jealous.... who knows....? i wouldn't recommend it.... even if you're damn bored.... or you're a big fan of 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'.... then you might just dig it.... either way.... i wouldn't bother.... let's just say i took one for the team by watching it for you....

if you like this, watch: 'I Know What You Did Last Summer', 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer' and 'I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer'

Monday, August 2, 2010

my brief thoughts on.... 'Mother's Day' (1980)

this is a Troma Team release, so you already know what you're getting.... violence, nudity and a low budget.... and that's exactly what this has to offer ie: the usual 80's horror movie themes.... it's nothing new or special.... it came about as part of the trend of making movies based around holiday themes.... although, truth be told, this movie DOES NOT take place on Mother's Day.... not that it really matters.... i have to admit i was enthralled with this movie.... i'm not sure why.... i guess i'm just a sucker for the cheesy 80's horror....

3 former college roomates go on a camping trip and get kidnapped by a couple of psycho hillbillies who love their mother.... they torture the women, but eventually the women escape and have their revenge.... and that's about it....not a hard sell for fans of the genre.... but still only a 2 out of 5 star attempt.... the ending was piss poor.... and could have been much better.... however, it was just an example of what the 80's was.... there are a slew of these types of movies out there that are easy to find and are all about the same.... so if you're into that kind of thing.... this may be the movie for you.

other examples: 'My Bloody Valentine' (1981), 'April Fool's Day' (1986) and of course, 'Friday the 13th' (1980)

Friday, June 11, 2010

my thoughts on.... 'Home Sick'

the tagline for this movie reads, "Who do you hate?".... well, i hate the director of this movie.... and because of that, i'm going to keep this brief.... this movie is a mess.... the script is fairly lame.... the killer is some reject from an S&M club.... the acting is piss poor.... the direction is confusing.... it has little, if anything, to offer your average horror movie lover.... just plain stay away....

the only redeeming quality of this sloppy, slap shot movie is Bill Moseley's one and only scene.... he steals the entire movie from the rest of the cast.... he's resembles a less creepy Chop Top from 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2'.... and his star quality overshines every other aspect of the movie.... so if you're going to rent this or watch it on Netflix OnDemand.... fast forward to Bill's scene and then shut if off....
1 out of 5 stars for the crappy movie itself.... and 3 1/2 stars out of 5 for Bill Moseley's inspired performance.... the only saving grace in this turd.

Merry Christmas.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

my thoughts on.... 'Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield'

well, here we go again.... another film from the same folks who brought you 'B.T.K.' and 'Bundy'.... and yet again, it's not really all that good.... i should have known.... and i did.... but i wanted to watch it anyway to see how off they were with the story.... and once again, they remade history.... i mean, some of the facts were right, but so much of it was made up and Kane Hodder as Ed Gein was a very poor choice.... Ed was a fairly lean and small older man, not some beefy younger guy who looks like he'll rip your head off.... i have no idea what they were thinking when they cast him.... but i didn't make the movie so i guess i can't bitch.

the story follows most of the real plot lines.... he was a loner who lived in Plainfield, WI and was a mama's boy even after she died.... he lived in the house he grew up in and kept to himself for the most part.... most people would say he was a nice man, but a bit odd.... Kane's Ed Gein doesn't carry that part off.... he liked to rob newly dug graves containing women who reminded him of his mother.... and do bad things to their bodies.... everything but having sex with them.... that he said he never did.... ("they smelled to bad.").... they don't show much of him with the corpses, which was the majority of his sickness.... he turned their parts into lapshades, chair covers, bowls, pull chains, etc.... in this movie they barely touch on that.... the only thing they show is the full skin suit that he made out of different women's skin and sewed them all together....

all in all, it kept my interest.... but Ed Gein only confessed to killing two people and they only tried and convicted him for one.... they never found that he killed anyone else.... in the movie, they show Ed killing a few more folks than just 2.... granted they show one of the real killings and elude to another.... however, it was just so hard to get past Kane Hodder in the role.... i mean, he did fine.... he proved he has some acting chops.... it just didn't work.... and the ending was just lame.... it's not something i would recommend that you watch.... unless you're a Kane fan or you just have a lot of time to kill....

2 out of 5 stars.... it's available on Netflix OnDemand right now.... so at least it's free.... i think i just know too much about the history of Ed Gein to allow myself to enjoy this movie for what it was, a piece of entertainment.... Ed is shown in the movie to be a serial killer, but the reality is.... he never was. a sicko and a messed up guy, but not a serial killer.... by definition, he would have to kill 3 or more people to qualify for that title.... but he did inspire a slew of characters based on his life and crimes that are the serial killers of little kids nightmares and ones that we all know and love.... so for that i guess he'll always be remembered.

if you dare watch this, make sure and watch these too: 'Deranged' (the much better Ed Gein story), 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' (1974) and 'The Silence of the Lambs'

Thursday, April 22, 2010

my thoughts on.... 'B.T.K.'

this is a movie "inspired by the true story".... this is important to realize before you watch this movie.... it's not a true retelling of what actually happened in the B.T.K. case.... i didn't realize this when i went into it.... i just assumed it was going to be a bit more fact based.... sure they got a couple of things right, but overall it's just a reason to have Kane Hodder (Jason from several Friday the 13th films) go around and kill people.... i was less than impressed by it....

their version has B.T.K. as an overzealous compliance officer.... who tends to take his job a bit to seriously.... he's married with two teenage daughters and sneaks out occasionally to kill some women and sometimes men for no real reason.... we're never really given a motive.... he's an upstanding citizen to the outside world and to his church.... but soon all of that comes crashing down in one big mess....
i think Kane Hodder is an interesting fellow.... and as an actor, he's better than i expected he'd be, since mostof the movies i've seen him in he's behind a mask and doesn't say anything.... he does his best with the story and tries to make it interesting, but it all just falls flat.... there is nothing really special about the movie.... nothing really stands out.... its all just kind of there.... you know....? like they made it and just kind of did it for the hell of it....

2 out of 5 stars for this less than stellar movie.... and not something i would recommend to anyone actually interested in the case.... you're better off reading a true crime book instead.... the only reason i would tell anyone to see this is to see Kane Hodder do more than his usual typecasting.... other than that, junk.

if you like this movie, watch something better: 'Se7en', 'The Silence of the Lambs' and 'Zodiac'

Saturday, March 6, 2010

my thoughts on.... 'The Stepfather' (2009)

Terry O'Quinn sold the original 'Stepfather'.... LONG before he was ever on 'Lost'.... and that movie holds a small little place in my heart as one of the better slashers of that year.... then i heard they were re-making it.... so i figured i'd give the new one it's day in court.... right....? i mean, i treat all movies equally.... because sometimes you can find that diamond in the rough where you least expect it.... this really wasn't one of those times.... i mean, the cast and crew did it's best.... and i firmly believe that.... right down to the girlfriend of the son running around half naked most of the time.... but when it came down to it.... they never captured the essence of what made the original so great and spawned sequels.... this felt more like a movie of the week on CBS than a major motion picture....

in your typical slasher movie.... you expect a certain amount of bodies to hit the floor and usually some pretty original ways for it to happen.... this really never lived up to those rules.... the kills were low to none and the originality was just not there.... i do give the director credit for trying to keep the level of tension fairly high.... and he succeeded for the most part.... i found myself hanging on the edge of my seat for some of the scenes.... and i think that the actors had a lot to do with it.... they dragged out some quality b-grade actors.... and they took the script they were given and made the best of it....
the idea behind the story.... if you couldn't guess by the poster.... is about a stepfather who marries into a family and then proceeds to kill them after a while because that's what he does.... the big difference between this and the original.... is that Terry O'Quinn did it out of the fact that when things didn't turn out to be the perfect family he wanted, everyone died.... in this version, they just die.... it almost left the main character without a good motive.... supposedly this is loosely based on actual events.... and they even tie 'America's Most Wanted' into the mix.... i don't know how true it all is.... it makes for an interesting premise either way....

okay, the movies over.... i'm feeling like i'm a pretty darn good father.... and i'm rating this 2 out of 5 stars because it just didn't hold a candle to the original.... the ending was lame at best.... the 3rd act was disjointed and confusing.... all of the cliche's of every other horror movie you've ever seen all were kind of played out, but on a lower grade.... it's not something i would recommend for anyone but die hard fans of movies and is desperate for something to fill and hour and a half.... otherwise, stay away.... i watched it so you didn't have to.

you're welcome....

if you enjoy this movie, check out: 'The Stepfather' (1987), 'Disturbia' and 'Mother's Day'