If you're looking for more content from me? Check out 'The Creepercast'!

I know that you originally came here to read movie reviews. Over the years, I've used this as a way to promote my podcasts. The movie reviews still happened, just less frequently. Soon, I was so busy with podcasting and other endeavors, that there wasn't much here at all. I keep thinking I'll come back to it, but I never find the time. However, one of the podcasts I am affiliated with.... isn't one where I'm on the air, I'm on the writing staff. The show is called The Creepercast and it's an all horror podcast that's a damn good time to listen too! What my role is at The Creepercast is to provide horror movie reviews, top 10 lists and other content. So far, we're pulling old reviews from this site to drop one a week on Saturday's. However, I'm also writing new material that's NOT available on this site! So, if you're looking for more from me and other great content from the guys at The Creepercast, head on over to http://www.creepercast.com/. If you just want some of my stuff, here's the links to everything so far:

http://www.creepercast.com/horror-fiction-the-mortician-a-short-story-of-longing-by-joel-kenyon/

http://www.creepercast.com/indy-review-the-lashman-2014/

http://www.creepercast.com/independent-review-7th-day-2012/

http://www.creepercast.com/indy-review-the-cabining-2014/

http://www.creepercast.com/joel-happy-kpants-has-the-lowdown-on-rob-zombies-31/

http://www.creepercast.com/rammbock-berlin-undead-aka-siege-of-the-dead-2010-review/

http://www.creepercast.com/tag/a-happy-kpants-review/

http://www.creepercast.com/tag/joel-happy-kpants/

http://www.creepercast.com/tag/joel-happy-kpants-hour/

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! (epilogue) - my thoughts on.... 'Zombies vs. Strippers'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

Full Moon Features is certainly not the mark of quality, but that doesn't mean that they're not entertaining. I've seen more of their movies than I care to admit to. Ever since I was in college, my friends and I spent many wasted nights enjoying the movies of Full Moon. It's been about a decade since I've seen anything from them. As a matter of fact, I wasn't even sure they still existed. So, when 'Zombies vs. Strippers' started, I was shocked when the Full Moon logo appeared! It sent a wave of nostalgia through my brain and quickly told me what I could expect over the next 80 minutes.

Now, the title automatically tells you what to expect. It's not a clever way to get people to watch and then the movie features werewolves and midgets.... oh no, it's nothing but strippers and zombies. If you want nudity, this movie has it. If you want zombies chewing on people, this movie has it. If you want high quality art house film making, this movie doesn't have it. This movie is just a big, dumb, reason to sit around and watch zombies chase after topless women. Plain and simple. This one won't leave a mark in the zombie genre and will most likely be forgotten by anyone who sees it. It's not a movie that anyone would aspire to have in their collection. It's just a reason to kill time.

The plot, is simple. (surprised?) A strip club owner is on the verge of losing his club and is trying one last time to make it work. During the last hurrah, a zombie outbreak occurs and the world begins to collapse. Everyone at the strip club is completely oblivious to the end of the world. Instead, they're having a going away party. Then the outside world starts to creep in and everything goes to hell. It's an all out battle of zombies vs. strippers, who will win? Who cares? That's it. Plain and simple.

There's no reason to watch this movie, but there's no reason to not watch it. If you like zombies and sleazy strippers, that's all you need to know to make your decision on whether you watch it or not. The make up is pretty terrible. The acting is sub-par. The sets are a joke. It has all the same earmarks that Full Moon had in the 90's, which is sad and awesome.... all at the same time. There's a Michael Jackson impersonator zombie. There's character stereotypes out the yin yang here. This movie has so many cliches that it goes beyond being bad and back to good again and then back to being bad. I really wanted to like this movie, I really did. It honestly had me hooked within the first 15 minutes. The problem is, there was never really any pay off. The further it went along, the worse things became. It's almost like the writer started out strong, but got a hernia, ended up in the hospital and his 13 year old son took over. This one had so much potential and could've been a bit of a cult classic. Instead, it just ended up being another reason to wonder why in the hell you just wasted an hour and twenty minutes of your life.

If I could change one thing about this movie, it would be everything. 'Zombies vs. Strippers' should sell itself by it's title alone. Sadly, you can't infuse charm and charisma into a movie that lacks it. If a movie is built around all of the right elements, it doesn't matter how bad it is.... it can still be wildly successful. I've seen movies shot on a value meal budget that amazed me. A good script, an original story, something to set it apart can turn a horrible movie into a classic. With all of that being said, I will give this movie one big shout out of respect: the cast was 100% committed to their characters. No matter what was going on around them and no matter how bad things were, they stuck to their guns and sold it like they were working with Ron Howard and not Clint Howard. I wish that would have been enough. I really, really did. Full Moon used to mean high quality crap with a heart. This had some of that flavor and flare, but not enough to make me want to dive back in to the deep end of their pool. Sorry 'Zombies vs. Strippers', you're not two great tastes that taste great together.

2 out of 5 stars

If you hated this or liked this, check out: 'Zombie Strippers', 'Doghouse' and 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead'

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! - my thoughts on.... 'Cockneys vs Zombies'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

The poster I used for this review reads: "A mad rollicking mash up of 'Shaun of the Dead' and 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'". I couldn't agree more. Perhaps I would've used 'Snatch' instead, but it's a similar sentiment. This movie feels like a hybrid of the two and almost a perfect combination at that. It takes equal parts of both movies and blends them together into a zombie/comedy/heist/action movie. One of the biggest selling points of this little gem is the superb acting of Alan Ford. He channels his character Brick Top from 'Snatch' and reminds us just exactly how bad ass he is. I honestly don't know if this movie would have worked as well, if it wasn't for him. Granted, the other characters are all likable and funny and charming and all of that.... but not like him. This movie also stands out, because it throws more old people into the mix. This is something we don't see much in zombie movies. The elderly. How would they react? How would someone who's life is nearly over, react to the end of the world? This also gives us a whole new angle on a bank heist. *possible spoilers?* What if you went into a bank to rob it, came out to find the cops waiting, went back inside the bank only to come back out to a zombie apocalypse? This answers that question. Hilariously.

Also, *possible spoilers?* How do you kill a zombie with a plate in their head?

I've kind of already detailed out the plot, but here it is again.... in case your missed it: This British movie is about a group of inept criminals who decide to rob a bank so they can save their grandfather's retirement home from being demolished by developers. Meanwhile on another building site some workers dig up an old graveyard and they get bitten by the "undead" which sets off a chain reaction. Then the bank robbers are cornered by the police while in the process of the robbery, but when they exit they find that they are all dead as a result of the horde of zombies. They have to get to the retirement home before the zombies do! (taken from IMDB.com) That's basically the movie in a nutshell. The old folks are hold up in a kitchen, until the youngsters come to their rescue. That's everything but the ending.

I honestly have no complaints with this movie. There was a lot of time and love put into the script, casting and zombie effects. The comedy is sharp and witty. The action if well done and still comical. The casting choices are all spot on. The locations are brilliant. And.... the fact that they're Cockney's just adds a whole different level of awesome. This is one that I would put on the 'must see' list of recent zombie movies. The only reason you might not like it, is if you like your zombie movies dark and violent. This one ain't quite like that. Everything about this movie makes me smile and I'm honestly ready to take the trip all over again. I think this will find it's way into the hearts and minds of a lot of zombie lovers. I also can see it heading to the short list of recent cult classics. This movie hits all the right notes.

If you see very few zombies movies these days, out of the fear of being let down. Have no fear, this one won't let you down. I loved this movie and will be adding it to my collection, sooner rather that later. I keep trying to think of any complaints I might have about 'Cockneys vs Zombies', but I just can't come up with one. Alan Ford, alone, is worth the price of admission! That's really all I have to say about that. Go. Watch. Now!

4 out of 5 stars

If you like this, watch: 'Shaun of the Dead', 'Snatch' and 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! - my thoughts on.... 'Dead Season'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

Everybody and their cousin is making a zombie movie these days. Pound for pound, it's every student film makers ideal first choice for a movie. Special effects are cheap, setting can be anywhere and zombies are hot right now! Because of this, the market is flooded with zombie movies. They're like zombies themselves.... taking over! It also means there's a glut of bad ones, along with the good ones. That makes the zombie lover a bit more picky about what he/she watches. With all that being said, 'Dead Season' scared me a little bit. It looked like it had a budget, but I didn't know if it had the heart or a decent story.

I'm glad I took the risk.

This movie might not have re-written the zombie playbook, but it added a decent chapter. The story was a bit common, but the actors were committed and made you care about them. Some of the action was a bit 'clunky', but it was few and far between. One of the nicer things about 'Dead Season' were the little surprises here and there. The couple of twists that you weren't expecting.... the outcomes that were shocking and unique. It made me believe that good zombie movies are still out there and still being made. The ending could've used a tweak, but that's not unusual for most movies these days. I can forgive that.

The plot: When a worldwide viral outbreak leads to a plague of zombies scouring the earth for the living, two survivors flee the chaos of America to a remote island, hoping for a chance to start a new life. What they find is unrelenting horror. Beyond the hordes of the flesh-hungry undead, the other people already on the island force the pair into a fight-or-die battle amongst themselves. Armed only with crude weapons, they must descend to savagery and cutthroat tactics just to make it through each day. Meaning? The bad guys aren't just the zombie.... or at least they're not what they seem to be at first.

As I said at the beginning of this review, I was really concerned about this movie. You shouldn't be now. If you go into this expecting the best zombie movie ever made, you will be let down. But if you go into this expecting to check your brain at the door for an hour and a half, you'll walk away happy. The effects are decent, the story line is entertaining and there are a couple of little touches that add a new dimension to the old tale. The writer and director also take the time to let us get to know the main characters. An all too important factor in horror movies that is missed. If you don't like the people that are the main characters in the movie, then why in the heck would you care if they die or not? One of the trademarks of a worthwhile horror movie, is caring about who dies. Otherwise, it's just masturbation.

This is a nice way to spend an afternoon. I don't know if I would ever add it to my collection and if I ever need to see it again. I'm not quite sure if it's that kind of movie. It does prove it's worth in the genre. I left the whole experience feeling satisfied and happy. The characters made a couple of dopey decisions, but that's the reality of life and being in a situation you can't control. People do dumb stuff all the time, right? Give this one a day in court and you won't be let down.... trust me on this one.

3 out of 5 stars

If you like this, check out: any of the Romero movies

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! - my thoughts on.... 'War of the Dead'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

Let's start this off by saying, I'm not a fan of Nazi zombie movies or "flying through the air" zombie movies. Both of them have their exceptions, but overall.... they just rub me the wrong way. 'Dead Snow' and 'Day of the Dead' (2008) are a couple of ones that I actually enjoyed in each sub-genre. Because of this, I had really low expectations for 'War of the Dead'. It was Nazi zombies who jumped and flew through the air like super heroes or something. Knowing that, I was all prepared to hate this take on the genre. Well, I can admit when I'm wrong and I was wrong about this one. It may not be my new favorite zombie movie ever, but it certainly delivered a much better experience than I could have ever hoped for. The zombies were fearsome, but not scary. The action was well paced and not too much. The script was fairly basic, but enjoyable. There was only one scene that had me completely baffled in the whole thing. Where one of the main characters gets on a horse, only to ride about 20 feet and then get off and into the car that everyone else was in. Which, very slowly, had just crashed through a fence. You have to see it to understand.... or not understand.

This is the basic plot: During WWII, Captain Stone and a platoon of American and Finnish soldiers are on a mission to find a bunker held by the Germans. On the way there they come under fire and at the same time run into some German soldiers that seem to be "undead". How is this possible? Their platoon is almost completely killed off apart from a few of them, including Capt. Stone. They move on and run in to another survivor, a Russian soldier. They all try to survive and end up at the bunker they were meant to take out. Once inside, they find out just how the German soldiers became the "undead". All the while, they're finding out that despite them being on different sides of the war.... they all have a common enemy.

I don't think that this movie was meant to be any kind of giant blockbuster, but it has all the earmarks of a great war movie. It's also beautifully shot and feels like a much more epic movie then I think it actually was meant to be. With some more time and a slightly better script, this could have been pretty epic. It seems that the writer and director took several liberties with the story, in favor of just getting it done. It doesn't hurt the overall experience, but it does make some parts seem forced. There are also several logic jumps, but all of them can be forgiven. It's got lots of gun battles, hand to hand combat and Nazi's! My biggest complaint with the whole thing is that the zombies aren't as interested in chewing on human flesh as they are getting in to a fist fight. They also seem to have super human abilities, thanks to their transformation into the undead army they've become. I can look past all that though.

If you have a rainy Saturday afternoon and are looking for something new, but familiar.... then this might be the ticket for you. It's a solid war movie, a solid zombie movie and a decent thrill ride. I don't know that I really ever need to see it again. Not that this is a bad thing. Some movies are meant to take you on a one way trip through a new reality and then drop you off on the other side. Some are like a good song, meant to be played over and over so you can re-listen to your favorite parts. All in all, this movie comes recommended for fans of the zombie and/or Nazi zombie genre. It has likable characters and a good enough story line to kill an hour and a half without feeling like you wasted the time. Not too mention, who doesn't want to shoot some Nazi's in the head?

3 out of 5 stars.

If you like this, perhaps you should check out: 'Dead Snow', 'Day of the Dead' (2008) and 'Oasis of the Zombies' (for an example of an original Nazi zombie movie.... but not a very good one.)

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! - my thoughts on.... 'A Little Bit Zombie'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

Well, well, well.... another zombie comedy, eh? What more can another one of these things offer that hasn't already been done before? The answer is.... a lot. Man, this movie was great! Right along the lines of 'Deadheads', this one delivered exactly what I wanted in a zombie comedy. It was a little light on the zombies, but that was barely noticed because of all of the other stuff going on. I really wanted to not like it in the beginning. For some reason, it started off feeling a little too low budget and simple. However, as the story went on and you grew to love the main characters, the whole thing just took off! It's a really simple story line, but it doesn't need a lot of glitz and glamour. What it offers is very funny dialogue, slap stick situations and people that just ooze charisma. It also pays a lot of homage to other films in the genre and does it cleverly and in good taste. This movie never takes itself too seriously and is always firmly rooted in the mythos that makes zombies a reality. It does take the 'Return of the Living Dead' stance on zombie lifestyle and that works to its benefit in this case. Being a fan of that movie, this one sits right along side of it as a nice companion piece. A lot of similarities between the two.

The plot is one that we've all seen before in several romantic comedies. The main difference is, zombies! This is the basic outline: Infected by a virus, a mild mannered HR manager attempts to fulfill his overwhelming desire for brains, all while trying to keep it together so as not to incur the wrath of his bridezilla-to-be. He also has brought along his sister and her over the top husband, as they head up to a cabin in the woods for some time together. Meanwhile, a zombie hunter and his partner are on the prowl for the undead and soon are hot on the trail of the newly transforming HR manager. Did I mention he was infected by a mosquito who bit a zombie, carried the virus, was killed, came back and then infected our hero? Yeah, that happened. It's genius.

The cast in this movie are all people you might recognize from their other works. No real big celebrities here, but they all have great credits behind them. The special effects are on par with the movie and the script crackles with a life all its own. Everything in this movie feels brand new to me, despite it's tie in's with other like minded movies. There's nothing too graphic in the violence.... but the f-bomb is dropped to almost the point of absurdity. The characters are all well drawn out and they all feel like someone you know. I honestly found very little to criticize about 'A Little Bit Zombie'. It fires on all cylinders and flies by like any great movie should.

At the end of the day, this movie will eventually find its way into my DVD/Blu-ray collection. This is one that would be good to pop in anytime. Especially after a viewing of 'Return of the Living Dead' and 'Deadheads'. It makes a perfect little bookend to these movies, even though they're made by different folks at different times. If you like your comedy to be smart, a little foul mouthed, mildly gross and with a bit of sappiness thrown in.... then this is a movie for you. A great little diamond in the rough, that I'm glad I found earlier rather then later. Now, it's your turn!

4 out of 5 stars.

If you like this, check out: 'Deadheads', 'Shaun of the Dead' and 'Return of the Living Dead'

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! - my thoughts on.... 'Rise of the Zombies'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

Possible *Spoilers!* in this review. You probably won't care anyway, the movie isn't that good to begin with.

SyFy doesn't have the best reputation when it comes to making movies. They're notorious for making sub-par z-grade horror and science fiction movies. If you go into them not expecting much, you probably will get your money's worth. If you go into them expecting Oscar winning masterpieces? You will be sadly let down. The thing is, when they do tongue in cheek flicks that are meant to be stupid, they're successful! When they make attempts at serious horror or sci-fi, they fall flat on their faces. This was a serious attempt. Granted, they had a decent cast of b and c-level actors, but everybody seemed to be phoning in their performances. LeVar Burton was particularly bad. I kept wanting to sing the 'Reading Rainbow' song and change it too 'Bleeding Rainbow'. Danny Trejo was about the only worthwhile performance, but his time was shorter than most of the other actors. Oh well, he was probably getting paid more than they were. That being said, this movie started out okay. When the cast was still in the prison, you had a good start and a good premise. But the characters are so incredibly stupid with their decision making that they quickly loose their foot hold at the prison and are soon on the run. Why would you take a prison and NOT lock it down? I mean, they seem to know that zombies are washing up on shore pretty regularly, yet they're out there playing in the surf. What the heck people? Is it any surprise that you'll suddenly be attacked? And then to not have a plan to lock things down?!?! Pure garbage. From there on out, it's one bad decision after another. Nothing makes sense and everything they do just gets them in more trouble, that they shouldn't have gotten into in the first place! Dumb.

The "plot" goes like this: During a zombie apocalypse ,a group of survivors hide on Alcatraz Island to escape from rising zombie hordes. When their refuge is overrun, and upon hearing that a scientist may have discovered a cure, they leave the island to seek him out. That's the basic outline. Once they're back on the mainland, they split up.... due to a disagreement on what to do next and all hell breaks loose.

The writers of this piece of crap, tried to pay homage to zombie movies that have come before.... but they do is so poorly. Nothing fits in this storyline and everything seems forced and cliched. I really wanted to like the characters and to root for them to win. I really did. Ultimately, I ended up hating all of them and wanted the credits to just start rolling. I'm assuming that the director felt the same way. The reason I say this? It's because he eventually started throwing in more and more outlandish nonsense into the scenes, so as to spice it up. It was more for shock and awe than for any sort of plot development. It made me feel dirty. Really, really dirty.

In the end, I don't recommend that you do what I did and sit through this movie. There are SO many other low budget zombie movies out there that are so much better. This one just falls flat on it's face and has little to nothing going for it. There's no new ground covered here. There's no memorable characters or scenes. There's just no meat on the bone. This movie is what's leftover after someone else has made their own b-grade zombie movie. It's nothing but half rotted scraps and throw away's. Sorry to everyone involved.... it's just the way it is. Yuck.

I don't recommend this, instead watch: 'Shatter Dead', 'Meat Market' or 'Meat Market 2' (for low budget zombie movies with something to offer)

2 out of 5 stars

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! - my thoughts on.... 'Deadheads'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

(technically, I have four days of movie watching in a three day weekend.) I started things off with a movie that has sat, staring me in the face, for far too long: 'Deadheads'. This little romantic/comedy/zombie movie has been recommended to me so many times, that I lost count. It's on the top of a lot of people's lists for best zombie movie of the last year. It's the little horror/indie film that could! The reason it's so successful, when all the other indie/zombie movies fail? It has heart. With the minimal shortcomings it has, it more than makes up for them in heart. Not too mention that the leads have SUPER charisma and charm. You want to love them, right from the start. The other thing this movie has going for it is an original and fun script. It's well written and well executed by everyone involved. The acting may be a little spotty at times, but in the end.... it doesn't even matter. This reminds me of 'Shaun of the Dead' in many ways. It pays tribute to all of the famous zombie films that came before it, while still keeping it's own originality and awesomeness. Just like 'Shaun of the Dead' did. Therefore, if you liked that film.... I would bet money you'll like this one. But just because they're similar doesn't mean that they're the same. Not at all. This movie felt so fresh the entire time I was watching it, that I didn't want it to end. I would recommend this more to die hard zombie fans, then the casual viewer. You're more likely to get more out of this, thanks to all of the classic zombie references. Either way, damn it's fun!

The plot goes a little something like this: Two inexplicably coherent zombies, Brent and Mike, awake amidst a zombie attack. They decide to take a road trip to find the Mike's lost love, unaware they are being chased by the agents of a ruthless company with its own agenda. Along the way, they also pick up Cheese. A hulking, mass of zombie power.... but more like a lost puppy than a weapon of mass destruction. They also have several misadventures along the way, as they slowly become friends to the "end".

This movie starts out in the onset of a zombie outbreak.... meaning that it's only just begun. Not everyone is aware of what's happening and the government is only in the first stages of containing it. The two 'heroes' are also a bit different than your average zombies, as they've been injected with a serum that allows them to think and talk and retain their previous memories. This is not your father's zombies. At first, Mike doesn't even realize he's the undead. He's running from them like anyone else would in his situation. However, once he finds out, he takes a slightly different path then his friend Brent had started out on. What's great about this movie is that, at it's core.... it's a romantic comedy road trip. The zombie element only adds a whole different level of problems and funny situations into the mix. It's a perfect set up for a story that's as old as time. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy searches for girl. Stuff happens.

I can't say enough good things about 'Deadheads'. I loved this movie from the start to the end. My only regret with this is, I wish I would have watched it sooner! I have little, to no complaints about this movie. The little bit of acting issues would maybe be my only gripe. But that's so minor compared to all of the wonderful writing, music and direction here. This is the way a "little" indie movie should be done. Don't think that just because you have a cute idea that it would make a great movie. Make sure you have all of the ingredients first. You wouldn't make a cake, just because you have great frosting. You need a great cake recipe too. 'Deadheads' has the frosting, cake and beer to go along with it. Pure awesomeness.

Hands down: 4 out of 5 stars!

If you like 'Deadheads', check out: 'Shaun of the Dead', 'The Revenant' and 'AHHH! Zombies!'

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Return of the Living Dead 4: Necropolis' and 'Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave To The Grave'

When, New Zealand born, Ellory Elkayem made the cult classic 'Eight Legged Freaks'.... he showed potential. What followed, was three crap-tacular failures. These are two of them. Now, 'Return of the Living Dead' 1 through 3 are all pretty good movies. They aren't going to re-invent the zombie genre, but they're entertaining and pretty fun. Part 1 is by far the best. Part 2 uses some of the same actors, but doesn't quite have the same charm. Part 3, goes in a different direction and for some reason it still works. Perhaps it's because it was directed by Brian Yuzna? Perhaps. But when I heard they were making 2 more back to back sequels, I had my doubts. I had good reason to doubt them, these movies are awful. They are boring to watch and the little bit of action in them, is slow paced and not very exciting. I don't feel that they're even part of the franchise. Ah well....

In 'Necropolis', zombies come back due to an accident with the Trioxin containers. Sound familiar? It's what happened in the past movies. In 'Rave to the Grave', it happens a 5th time! At this point, the storyline is a bit tired and over done. I'm not sure why they couldn't come up with something new or original, kind of like the plot in part 3. It's like Ellory Elkayem just made them to use the name.I don't know how many of you have seen the original movies. In them, they re-use some of the same actors and oddly enough.... it works. They don't play the same characters and that makes it that much stranger.... but again, it works. In parts 4 and 5, they try the same thing. They actually use almost the entire same cast for both movies. It is confusing, pointless and a terrible pseudo-tribute to the originals. Also, the zombies still chant "Brains!" throughout the whole movie, but there is no satire or any type of comedy. That's a bit of what the charm was in the first 3. They injected a little bit of humor every so often, to break things up. It worked really well and carried the movies. Also, the zombies in part 4 are all dressed the same(they're test subjects) and it's distracting. (I'm nitpicking now.)

Anyway, both of these are 2 out of 5 star, at best. I don't need to see them again and I'm still wondering why I watched the 5th after finishing the 4th. They're on Comcast OnDemand right now, if you're brave enough to watch them. I strongly advise against it, even for the die hard zombie fans. Stay away and maybe watch the first 3 again, instead.

What to watch instead: 'Return of the Living Dead', 'Return of the Living Dead part 2' and 'Return of the Living Dead 3'

(the trailer for 'Return of the Living Dead 4: Necropolis')

(the trailer for 'Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave')

running zombies.... WHAT THE HELL....?

I tend to think of strange things sometimes, just listen to my podcasting history and you'll see what I mean. Tonight was no exception. On my way back in from walking the dog, I thought.... What if the zombie outbreak happened right now? And that thought was followed up with.... Would they run or shamble? And then I thought.... When did zombies really start running anyway? See what I mean about weird trains of thought?

I heard something a while back about why zombies don't generally run. The thought behind it is sound, if a zombie who's been decaying was to take off in a sprint his leg would probably break or fall off. I mean, he or she is not exactly in the best shape. Now, if it was a fresh corpse then maybe it would work out okay? That's the why, but in the reality of zombie invasions, it's a lot more fun to have them take off in a full sprint. Now what does all of this have to do with anything? It made me wonder who in the hell made them run in the first place? I think most film goers credit this to Danny Boyle in his film '28 Days Later'. Now, for zombie purists, the creatures in his film aren't zombies.... they're just infected humans, infected with a disease. I, however, would probably credit it to the 1985 Dan O'Bannon film 'Return of the Living Dead'. In that film, the zombies move very quickly and don't really shamble at all. Granted, the zombies also talk and don't follow the old school rules. It's still a classic in my book.What I came to finally realize, after some more thought, is that both of those lines of thinking are wrong. The first time I can think of seeing them was actually in the godfather of modern zombie films, George A. Romero's 1968 film 'Night of the Living Dead'. In that film, in the opening sequence, we see a pretty pissed off zombie taking off after Barbara and then running after her car. I never really put two and two togther until tonight. After all these years, it was right there in front of my face. It obviously didn't stick after that film, it took quite a long time for people to be willing to expect the high speed undead. '28 Days Later' introduced the idea, but 2004's remake of 'Dawn of the Dead' by Zack Snyder, made it mainstream. Now it's become an ongoing arguement with zombie fanatics as far as which is better or more pure, running or shambling? As far as I'm concerned, zombies are zombies. If they run, that's scary as hell. Thinking about something that wants to kill you that has no remorse, no slowing down and will kill anything that gets in its way, is pretty damn frightening. It's like swimming in the ocean and coming across a school of sharks with blood in the water. But the shambling zombies can be just as scary. Thinking about being surrounded by hordes of the undead who all want your flesh, is frightening. Just the overwhelming numbers will always overcome any amount of weapons someone has. So both options pretty much suck, if you were in them.

Watch from the 7 min 25 sec mark forward and you'll see one pretty fast and pissed off zombie. He's going to get Barbara and have a Barb-a-ra-Q, damn it.

In the end, my point of writing this was to set the record straight on the whole running/shambling arguement. I don't think one is right and one is wrong, they both have their place in horror cinema. I'll love them no matter what. For me, zombies are the bread and butter of my horror world. I guess I've made my point.... if there ever was one.

(Follow up: I went back and researched who said that the ankles would break on running zombies and low and behold, it was George A. Romero himself that said that! I guess he forgot that he started the whole trend long before zombies were in vogue. Silly boy.)

my thoughts on.... 'Zombie Girl: The Movie'

What was your biggest asperation when you were 12 years old? If you're Emily Hagins, then it's to make your first movie.... a zombie movie. Not a short film, but a full length feature. This documentary follows her from start to finish, as she attempts to complete her project. Along the way, she meets some amazing people, gets a cult following, builds a unique relationship with her parents (especially her mom) and tries to finish what she started. The crazy thing about this movie is the fact that whether you're 12 years old or 58 years old, it makes you wonder if you could make your own movie. This girl proves that anything is possible if you set your mind to it. Her dream took two years of her life and in the end, it was so worth it. This is a feel good movie and in a way is very similar to 'American Movie'. The only difference is age and background. I do wish that Emily's movie 'Pathogen' was included to watch, but maybe if I rented the DVD I'd have that option. I've also since followed up on her and she is still making movies, FYI.

The plot is pretty well laid out in my previous section of this review. The story revolves around 12 year old Emily Hagins and her pursuit of her dream of making a full length zombie movie. She enlists the help of her family, friends and a lot of local celebs. It's a story about blood, guts and determination. In the end, we all learn that it's not about how old you are, but how much desire you have to succeed. Here's another summary from Netflix.com: "Youth and inexperience were no deterrents to 12-year-old Emily Hagins when she set out to make her first full-length feature, the zombie flick Pathogen. This 2008 documentary chronicles her two-year endeavor from start to finish. With cameras focused on Emily and Mom -- who acts as agent, crew, producer and No. 1 fan -- the film illuminates indie moviemaking challenges and the wonder of being a plucky adolescent to whom anything seems possible."The only thing I wish about that they had done with this movie is included some more scenes from Emily's movie, 'Pathogen'. It felt like during the whole movie that we were on the road to seeing the end results, but it never paid off. Regardless of all of that, this is still a great documentary. Emily proves that she is an up and coming talent and shows that not all families are dysfunctional. It also proves that horror won't neccessarily destory the minds of the young. Granted, I think that Emily might be more of an exception that a rule.... but moderation is the key. She is a girl with a vision and it's so strong that it carries her all the way to completion of her project. That's quite a feat considering the fact that most kids her age are more concerned about puberty and self-image.... Emily is worried about whether or not her severed heads look real and if she's using enough blood or not. Those are real worries in my book.

All in all, a very solid 3 out of 5 star production. I would recommend this to documentary film lovers, horror film buffs, zombie movie goers and people who just love a good storyline. This movie has it all. I am curious to see the finished product and her other projects after this. I also kind of wonder where the future will take her? It seems like she has her own career mapped out, but how will the rest of the world see it? This also makes me regret that my zombie film project from college never got off the ground. It was in the final stages of production and only needed the okay on my main location, but sadly.... my college frowned on the use of it's buildings for production. Thus ended my zombie film. I instead, made a short experimental film called, 'Anybody's Taco?'. Anyway, check this movie out.

If you like this, also check out: 'American Movie', 'Hide and Creep' and 'Pathogen'

my thoughts on.... 'The Mad'

I'm a secret Billy Zane fan. I don't announce it outloud or too often, but I've been a fan ever since I saw 'The Phantom'. Granted, it wasn't a great movie, but he did the best he could with what he had. Not too mention, his role in 'Zoolander' was awesome. Anyway, I recently came across this little zombie comedy called 'The Mad'. It sounded vaguely interesting in concept, but then I saw that Mr. Zane was the star of it and I threw it into the top of my queue. Last night, despite feeling like garbage, I had the pleasure of watching this little indie gem from 2007. I don't know how this didn't get a little more press. There are a lot of other movies that came out around this time that were similar and not as good. I guess it's just the way things go. Anyway, it is not a new concept that is used in this movie. Some of it is done in a new way, but the overall idea is a rehash of other concepts. 'The Mad' has a very nice feel to it. While I was watching it, I found myself just smiling at the little situations going on. I think that's what put this movie ahead of other similar movies, Billy Zane's charisma.

The plot, according to Netflix.com: "On an outing to the country, a doctor and his daughter stop in a town known for its organic beef. But the travelers run up against a mutated virus that turns people into the undead and hamburger patties into ravenous killers." That pretty much sums it up. The only thing that's a bit inaccurate is that it's not just the hamburger patties, but slices of beef in general that's what makes this movie a bit different than the others. I mean, how often have you seen a prime cut of beef slid of a mans leg and attack him? I'm guessing.... never. Now, before you jump to an conclusions, the cows themselves don't attack people (that would have been pretty keen though!) it's more about their tainted meat. Literally.This movie shines as a labor of love of everyone involved. It doesn't seem like anyone in this movie wasn't having fun. They also took the material just seriously enough to make the concept believable and that just makes it that much funnier. It's not a fall down kind of a funny, but the kind that makes you want to rewatch what you've just seen. The effects are good, the actors are good and the direction is good. I'm a bit zombie lover, it's my bread and butter of horror. These days, every Tom, Dick and Harry make their own zombie movies. You can't throw a rock anywhere without hitting a low budget zombie flick. Sadly, the majority of them kind of suck. That's what made it so much more enjoyable when I stumbled across this one. A diamond in the rough.

In conclusion, despite all of the good points about this movie.... I still only found it to be 3 out of 5 stars. It is just a little slice of simple comedy/horror fun. It won't change the face of the genre or tread any new ground. It just is what it is and did what it set out to accomplish.... to entertain. I obviously enjoyed this movie and I absolutely recommend that you watch this. Anyone who enjoys any of the things I've written about this movie, throw it in the Netflix queue now as I returned my copy today. That means it'll be ready to rent by tomorrow or the next day. In the meantime, I'm having some beef tonight.... it's whats for dinner.

If you like this, you may also like: 'Shaun of the Dead', 'Black Sheep', 'Zombieland' and 'Dance of the Dead'