my very brief thoughts on.... 'Someone's Knocking At The Door'

i will never know exactly what possesed me to watch this movie.... and i was so happy when it was over.... there was nothing redeeming about this movie.... there was nothing interesting about this movie.... there was nothing worthwhile about this movie.... it wasn't a pleasure to watch.... the script was godawful.... the directing was subpar at best.... the actors were horrific.... the plot was z-grade porno with a bit of blood and gore.... i don't even want to dignify this movie by explaining the plot (if there was one).... basically, it was a lot of gross out stuff and drugs.... the ending was predictible and lame as all get out.... i don't even know how in the hell this movie got funding.... let's hope this put the nail in the coffin for anyone involved from every making a movie again.... i'd rather watch beige paint dry than watch this again.... less than 1 out of 5 stars, if that was possible....!

rather than watch this.... get a vasectomy.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Paranormal Entity'

i've stayed away from the ripoffs of popular films, ever since i saw some of 'Tranmorphers'.... blech.... this appeared to be one of those "mockbusters".... however, i thought that i'd give it a shot.... i mean, how bad could it be....? well, i stand corrected.... this was actually pretty well done and although it felt a lot like 'Paranormal Activity', it was still its own movie.... and a pretty good one at that.... the story is pretty different.... a bit more violent.... and creepy.... the acting was above par for your average straight to DVD release.... the effects were well done, what few there were.... i honestly felt chills a few times.... this is available OnDemand right now.... and i would ask that you consider watching it.... it just proves that not all of these types of films are bad....

here's the plot.... footage is found in the attic of a home where multiple murders occured and only one man survived, who was accused of the crimes.... these videos are put together to make the movie.... as evidence of what happened....
i gave it 3 out of 5 stars.... i think it was a nice bookend to 'Paranormal Activity' and something that if you like that type of faux-real-footage type of movie, this may be for you.... i don't know if i'd need to own this or ever watch it again.... however, i don't regret watching it.... it was good enough, that i would almost believe that this and 'Paranormal Activity' was shot at the same time and just happened to have similar plots.... and that one wasn't trying to copy the other.... but i really doubt that.... anyway.... check it out while you can.... you may be pleasently surprised....!

if you like this, watch: 'Paranormal Activity', 'Paranormal Acticity 2' and 'The Blair Witch Project'

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Miner's Massacre' aka 'Curse of the Forty-Niner'

don't ask me why i even bothered adding this one to my Netflix OnDemand queue.... but i did.... i suppose i was hoping for a 'good/bad' movie.... but what i got was a 'bad/terrible' movie.... nothing about this was worthwhile.... not even Karen Black could save this movie.... it was pure and utter crap, from start to painful finish....
i won't even bore you with the plot.... well, maybe i will.... a miner (who's some kind of satanist) puts a curse on his gold so that if anyone takes any of it, he'll come back from the dead and kill them.... so some young people find it.... he comes back.... attaches a pick ax to his arm and proceeds to kill everybody.... that's it.... 1 out of 5 stars.... and yes, they left it open for a sequel.

if you put this in your queue.... you deserve what you get....

my brief thoughts on.... 'A Nightmare On Elm Street' (2010)

i've long since overcome my dispute with remakes.... instead, i give them their day in court and try and keep an open mind.... with the majority of the ones i've seen lately, they don't seem to be getting any better.... and with the recent news that Robert Zemeckis is looking to re-do 'The Wizard of Oz' i'm really wondering what they're going to be re-tooling next.... anyway.... the original NoES was a film with heart.... it was limited by the FX of the time.... but Wes Craven had a vision and he carried it out as best he could.... and what he created gave birth to one of the most recognizable horror icons in the history of film.... and spawned multiple sequels....

now to this version.... i think Jackie Earle Haley is a talented guy.... he's short and that kind of works against him in the title role of Freddy Krueger, but he makes the best of it.... the first thing that jumped out at me with this movie was the make-up effects for Freddy.... they went for a more realistic burn victim look.... in the original, Freddy didn't look nearly as burned as he did a pizza face.... but it worked.... with the new make-up, it became distracting to look at Freddy.... also, the voice of Freddy was deeper and more menacing.... it gave him a darker edge.... i did like the way Jackie used the knives on the glove by rubbing them together in anticipation before he killed.... it showed that he relished in what he was doing.... in taking revenge on the children of Elm street.... he also kept the character from making jokes.... something that eventually destoryed the NoES franchise.... my favorite scene in this movie was where Freddy had just killed the teen in the jail cell and then we cut to the dreamworld where Freddy has him hanging upside down.... he comes up to his face and says something like, "....the human mind lives on for 7 more minutes after death.... this means we have 6 more minutes to play...." if the whole movie was this sinister, it might have put the fear of Freddy back into us all.... sadly, this is the high point....
i didn't care for the character Nancy nearly as much as in the original.... and most of the characters came off as flat and dull.... not too mention, something i covered earlier, this movie didn't have the same heart as the original NoES.... it was just a movie made for the sake of making a movie.... and for that, i started to lose interest after a while.... i still enjoyed the ride and enjoyed Jackie's portrayal.... i just hoped for something more.... there's talk of a sequel already and i kind of doubt that they could take it to a new place and a better place.... but who knows....? i'm sure i'll submit myself to watching it.... i am always willing to give a movie a try.... i gave this 3 out of 5 stars.... mostly for Jackie Earle Haley.... as for the rest of the cast and crew, sorry but you didn't pull off a miracle....

if you're a fan of the original, you may want to think twice before watching this.... who knows maybe i'm wrong and you'll love it....?

if you like this or want something similar, watch: 'Friday the 13th' (2009), 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' (2003) and 'My Bloody Valentine' (2009)

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Where the Wild Things Are'

this may get me some serious hate mail.... but i have to speak my mind.

'Where the Wild Things Are' was one of my favorite books as a child.... it sparked my interest in writing.... and it was the first script i ever wrote.... as i transposed it for the stage and it was put on at the local library.... i was a child at the time.... so you can see that i loved this story and was curious to see how Spike Jonze would bring it to the screen.... i got excited when i started seeing the stills.... and the reviews were all good.... so i got even more excited.... tonight i saw the movie.

this movie was depressing.... dark.... the soundtrack was done by Karen O and she was the wrong choice, the WRONG choice.... this was not a movie for kids.... not a movie for adults.... it was a big waste of money.... the boy who played Max was unlikeable and i hated the fact that he took such a beloved character and made him into a terrible brat with little to no redeeming qualities.... sure the wild things looked amazing.... but if you don't care about the main character and the way the movie was put together just makes me not care how good they looked.... i just kept hoping the movie would get better.... and the joy that i had with the book as a child would somehow leap off the screen, it never happened.... as a matter of fact, i just kept wanting it to end.... i'm sorry to all of you who felt this was a wonderful movie.... i just think that Spike Jonze missed the mark by a mile.... and turned the book into a sour tasting hateful lemon....
1 out of 5 stars.... and i don't recommend this to anyone.... i feel the loss of a wonderful childhood memory thanks to Mr. Jonze and his whiny, bratty, hateful, ADHD Max.... his dark and depressing storytelling.... and the artsy fartsy un-childlike background music by Miss Karen O.... oh and my kids didn't like it either.

don't watch this movie.... just read the book and leave it at that

my brief thoughts on.... 'I Need That Record!'

how many of you have ever set foot in an independent record store....? i'm guessing most of you buy online, .mp3 or from a "big box store".... am i right....? well, you're missing out.... it's not just a shopping trip.... it's an experience.... something that you can't achieve anywhere else.... but sadly they're dying off.... one by one they close down or get run out of business by bigger and larger places that they just can't compete with.... so if there is still one left in your town, go now before you can't go ever again.... that's what this wonderful love letter of a documentary is about.... and, me personally, having worked at and managed a real record store for 6 years this is something near and dear to my heart.... and the store i worked at, Val's Halla Records in Oak Park, IL, was forced out of their original locaion.... but has moved and is still alive.... thank god for that.... because i loved every minute of my time that i worked there.... and learned more in those 6 years about people, music and life than any other place i've ever worked.... hell, i learned more than in my everyday life.... or school....! i can't explain it to you.... but if you're a music lover or junkie, a record store is your dream location to be.... i know it was for me....
this is a documentary so again there isn't really a plot.... more of a narrative about the current state of the indie store and the how's and why's of what's killing them off.... it's very in depth and pulls no punches.... it also touches on the slow demise of the record industry and the rise of the internet in making both regular and indie music easy to find and buy for everyone.... but part of the joy of the record store was having to search for that one thing that you've been looking for.... if you can just get whatever, whenever where is the fun in that....? it makes collecting boring.... granted, you can more than likely find everything you've ever wanted.... but true collectors want the thrill of the hunt.... the joy of the find and that's it.... this documentary was bittersweet and made me realize that the trend of indie stores is happening here just as much as anywhere else.... and it's not just record stores, but anything owned by someone, not some corporation.... i don't expect that i can save the world or the independent retailers and i doubt this documentary can either.... but it stands as a record (no pun intended) of a soon to be extinct kind of place to go.... a sad reminder of where we've gone as a country.... it's on Netflix OnDemand and i highly recommend it.... 4 out of 5 stars....

to all those who own their own business, no matter what it is, i wish you all the best and commend you for living your dream.... godspeed to you all.

don't watch anything after this.... grab a phonebook and visit your local independent retailers

my very brief thoughts on.... 'The Morgue'

imagine you're a screenwriter.... you've got a great idea for a movie.... so you write a script.... you get the money to get it produced.... you get not one, but TWO directors for it.... you get one name star.... and you make your dream movie.... your dream has now come true.... and that brilliant idea that started it all is now on celluloid for all the world to marvel at too.... amazing.

too bad it sucks.

this movie deserves less than 1 star, but that's not possible on Netflix.... and to be honest, i barely made it through this mess of a movie.... the only reason i even added it to the queue and was so quick to watch it was because of the fact that Heather Donahue (The Blair Witch Project) was getting top billing....! i couldn't wait to see her again.... little did i know what i was really in for.... good lord.... she only had about 20 minutes of screen time.... maybe total.... and i honestly i didn't care about any of the characters in this movie.... not even hers.... not even a little bit.... and what's the point of a horror movie or any movie if you don't give a rats ass about the characters involved....? i was hoping that maybe i'd get lucky, after about 15 minutes of the movie, that something would go drastically wrong at Netflix and i'd never be able to finish it.... oh well, that never happened....
here's the genius plot: a girl works at a morgue with only one other person, the nightwatchman. a family of 3 run out of gas and show up. two guys, who've been in an accident, show up. we keep getting flashbacks about a mortician who killed himself and has come back for his revenge. no one is safe. everything gets confusing and horribly edited. people start dying off one by one as the group tries to find a way to escape. but where's the nightwatchman? he's not the killer, but he's strangely missing and aloof. then the twist at the end happens. OOOO a twist.

do not waste one minute of your time to watch this.... stay away.... the twist is pulled off horribly.... it's kind of confusing at first.... and the script and editing job don't help things much.... honestly, who gives a damn anyway....? just thank god it's over.... i'm not demanding my time back.... i at least got to see Heather for awhile.... and she does so few movies it was nice.... but other than that.... garbage on film.... i have no idea why this was even made....? it should have stayed a script on someone's coffee table.... safe from the world.... anyway.... at least i can warn you.... don't even hope for the bad/good factor.... this is just bad/bad/bad.... 1 out of 5 stars, in case you didn't get that from my earlier comment.

in closing, it's like having your teeth pulled really slowly while under a mild sedation that causes things to be blurry.... but you still feel every pinch, pull and tug.... and your dentist is Stevie Wonder. got it....?

watch ANYTHING else.

my brief thoughts on.... 'National Geographic - Killer Wave: Power of the Tsunami'

ever since the Tsunami of 2004 in Sri Lanka, i've been intrigued by them.... something that disturbs me in a lot of ways as i have a fear of drowning.... yet something i will never have to deal with living in Colorado.... but the whole concept and science behind it is crazy.... the fact that an underground earthquake can set off a chain reaction that causes giant waves that can take out whole cities, villages and towns.... and i think the other thing that increased the interest was the mass amount of footage from the one in 2004.... because any that had occured before that was before the dawn of cell phone cameras, digital video recorders, etc.... there's just so many ways to get coverage on a disaster these days it's amazing.... it's almost like there's nothing that the average viewer can't see.... not just Tsunami's.... but anything....
i came across this National Geographic special by accident and didn't realize that it was produced before the Sri Lanka disaster.... so the footage was limited to some fascinating old school news footage and camera shots.... also a lot of paintings from ones back long before there ever was a way to photographically catch any of this.... it covers the history and science of the Tsunami.... but not in the great detail i was hoping for.... it seemed like it was designed for grade schoolers to learn the basics.... i guess i just expected more from it.... there's nothing really new to learn here.... and that's why i only gave it 2 out of 5 stars.... nothing to write home about.

if you want to see what a Tsunami truly can do, just look up Sri Lanka 2004 Tsunami on YouTube and you'll have more than enough to satisfy your curiousity

(there is no trailer for this movie to embed.)

my brief thoughts on.... 'We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen'

before i get started, i just want to point out that The Minutemen were not skinheads, despite what the picture above would possibly lead you to believe.... they weren't punk rockers.... they weren't arena rock stars.... they were just The Minutemen.... and this documentary is their story....

i'm sure a handful of you will know who they are already.... but the majority of you will have never even heard of them.... which is a shame.... granted, they are an aquired taste.... you really have to be into the music scene at that time.... however, you should take a chance and check them out.... read their lyrics.... watch this movie.... if you weren't a fan before, you just might be afterwards.... i've known about them for a long time.... but it took me quite a bit of time to appreciate them for what they were.... like a lot of bands over the course of music as a whole who have been influencial, this is one of those bands.... like them or not.... and this documentary is so well done that it really lets the band shine.... the filmaker blends iterviews followed by a song followed by interview and so on.... it keeps the pace of the movie strong.... and while you're learning about the history of the band and all of their followers, you see them in action at the same time.... it's a good idea and a good blend.... that's what really makes this work....
D. Boon, Mike Watt and George Hurley are The Minutemen.... D. Boon and Mike were friends since high school and although George went to the same school and graduated with them, they never knew each other.... but after all was said and done, they got together and formed the band.... and magic happened.... or so the critics would say and the die hard fans.... and i mean some very prolific and well respected musicians share their thoughts and feelings about the band.... this entire movie is one big love letter to the band and everything they produced and the legacy they left behind....

i truly enjoyed this movie.... from start to finish i was fully invested in the bands story.... they were charasmatic, energetic and the music was something unique.... it made me appreciate them that much more.... even if you've never heard of them and may not like their music, it's still such a well done documentary that its worth watching regardless.... i gav it a strong 4 out of 5 stars.... and i think it stands as an excellent musicial document of a period in time and one bands part in it....

i won't recommend any other options, rather i'll just say to watch this.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Awful Normal'

it's a sad number of children who've been molested.... and an even sadder number of those who've never reported it or were ignored by their parents or guardians.... so many people have gotten away with destroying the lives of others, only to keep doing it and doing it without them ever being brought to justice.... this documentary focuses on a families journey to confront the man who molested the two daughters and was never held accountable for it.... it was instead swept under the rug by a casual attitude towards the issue in the 70's.... one of the women came up with the idea and is the one who set up the whole plan and made the decision that this was the way she was finally going to be able to get on with her life and have some resolution.... granted, it would never make it go away.... but it would release the ghosts of her past....

when the two sisters in the family were in their preteens, the best friend of the family took advanage of his situation of being so trusted and molested each of the girls seperately.... the details are brought to light to the family of this man and are revealed to us the audience.... this is merely the set up for the time when the two sisters and their mom confront the man.... and demand answers....
this is not an easy film to watch.... it's heart wrenching to see what these women have gone through, especially the primary filmaker.... she's by far the most damaged.... and to hear them tell the story of what happened from their own lips as well as the lips of their molester is horrific.... i've know victims of molestation and i'm sure there are more out there who've just not admitted it.... and perhaps this may not be a movie i would recommend that everyone watch.... due to the subject matter.... and may cause some viewers to relive something they don't want to.... or perhaps it will bring some closure to them.... or maybe allow them to have the courage to do the same thing the filmaker did.... therefore, you have been warned....

i gave it 3 out of 5 stars.... although i think it's hard to rate something like this.... it's not about watching something to be entertained.... it's about something so much deeper.... so i just gave it something generic.... it's a well put together documentary and thought provoking.... and that's all i have to say about that.

there is nothing like this i've ever seen.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Dead in 3 Days'

think of the Austrian version of 'I Know What You Did Last Summer', but with more artistic merit.... and it's in German.... that's pretty much all i can say about this.... it was 3 out of 5 stars for the filmaking.... however it was way too close to the afformentioned movie for comfort.... i suppose you could add a dash of the original 'Friday the 13th' from 1980.... but not that good.

i wasn't all that impressed.... the cinematography.... that was about the only worthwhile part....

if you watch this, you might also want to watch: 'I Know What You Did Last Summer', Friday the 13th' (1980) and 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Thankskilling'

this movie is AWESOME....! i'll start out by telling you that i gave it 4 out of 5 stars.... this movie is so freaking fun and funny that i can't help but love it.... it's on par with some of the best of the Troma movies.... it's terrible, however it's terrible in a wonderful way.... i mean it's about a killer turkey....!!!! how can you not love this....?!?! the turkey talks and has one liners out the butt.... he swears like a sailor.... and this movie starts out crazy and just keeps going from there.... i mean the start of the movie involves a pilgrim woman with her breasts hanging out being chased by the killer turkey and he says his one liner and then kills her.... it's amazingly strange and enjoyable.... it's obvious that the turkey is a giant puppet.... the filmakers don't even try to hide it.... the scenes are over the top and gross and odd.... things that you would never think of happening, happen in this movie.... like a turkey having sex.... a turkey using a shotgun.... a turkey getting pissed on by a dog.... have i peaked your interest yet....? if not, why the hell not....!?!? go add this to your queue NOW....! it's OnDemand.... you can watch it tonight if you want....!

a powerful native american shamen creates this turkey to avenge the wrongs that have happened to his people.... and every 505 years the turkey comes back to exact more revenge.... and 5 kids on Thanksgiving break just happen upon the demonic turkey and the hunt is on.... he slowly tracks them down one by one (i have no idea how.) and kills off the kids.... and after each one or during it, there's always a silly one liner....
i think that the writer just got high and had fun with this.... he had no boundries and just let everything fly.... just look at the poster and you'll understand.... one of my favorite scenes involves one of the kids father, who is a sheriff.... the turkey comes to the house with Groucho glasses and a nose on and the sheriff thinks he's one of the friends of his kid.... they have coffee and talk.... it's a strange scene.... and why the sheriff never notices that this is a giant talking turkey, i'll never know.... and then he kills the sheriff and makes his face into a mask.... and puts on his hat.... when the kids come to the house to try and find a book on how to kill the turkey, they don't notice that the turkey is already in the house and dressed up like the sheriff....?!?! it's hilarious....! i cannot recommend this enough to fans of good/bad movies.... Troma movies.... and just dumb movies in general.... this one is a winner in a big way.... so stop reading this and go spend the one hour and six minutes required to watch the whole movie and then come back and say thank you when you're done.... end of story.

there is nothing else quite like this, except movies in the Troma catalog.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Hit and Run'

i think this movie was mistitled.... it should have been called 'Dumb'.... plain and simple.... i don't know how much more clearly i can put it.... this movie was silly and pointless.... and not in a fun way.... but damned if i wasn't transfixed throughout the whole movie.... i couldn't stop watching it no matter how terrible it became.... and it just kept getting worse and worse.... i kept hoping that things would turn around, however that was wishful thinking.... it starts out with a bang, literally.... it keeps seeming like it's going to end, but it just keeps going and going and going.... and just when you think that you've seen the dumbest part of the movie, it gets even dumber.... it's basically turd in a DVD case.... (well, it's OnDemand.... so a turd OnDemand.)

here's the story, if you can call it one.... a young woman on spring break leaves a bar, swerves to miss something in the road, hits a man with her car and doesn't realize it.... so she goes home and later in the evening finds out that a man is impaled on the front of her jeep.... so she checks on him and he grabs her, she freaks out and hits him with a golf club and thinks she's killed him.... and not sure what to do, she goes and buries the body in a shallow grave.... the only person she tells is her boyfriend.... soon he's involved.... and when they go back to get the blanket she wrapped the body in, because of fear of getting caught.... her boyfriend gets there first and when she arrives, he's dead.... the man is gone.... and then the man attacks her.... he straps her to the front of the jeep and begins to terrorize her.... it just goes downhill from there.... or i guess i should say, further downhill....
this movie has no point.... no good plot.... no suspense.... no horror.... it's just a big ball of poop.... there's nothing redeeming about it.... i kind of wish i never watched it.... but maybe you'd enjoy it....? it was not recommended to me by a friend, however i didn't listen and took the time to watch it anyway.... time i'll never get back.... and how Kevin Corrigan got involved in this i'll never know.... i thought he was better than that.... and the ending....? i think the writer had a heart attack and died and they got a monkey to finish the script.... honestly.... stay away.... for the love of god, stay away.... 2 out of 5 stars only because i couldn't stop watching it no matter how bad it got....

if you would rather watch a better version of this, watch: 'Stuck'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Nightmares in Red, White and Blue'

there are several documentaries out there about the horror genre.... some are specific to a type of horror.... some are specific to a certain franchise.... this one covers the entire history of American horror from the beginning to almost modern day.... by no means is it all encompassing.... but it does a good job of hitting all the high points.... and even touches lightly on the foreign market.... the movie goes to about 2007-ish with the current horror movies.... it's only got a run time of an hour and a half, so you can imagine that it could have been a lot more involved.... and i would have liked to see more in depth segments on each movie or period of time.... most of the movies were no big suprise, but there were a couple i'd missed along the way.... they interview some of the heavyweights of the genre and discuss not only their movies, but get their thoughts on other peoples work....

the plot is fairly obvious.... it's a documentary.... so there really isn't a plot....
if you're a fan of the horror genre.... then there may not be too much new here for you.... however, it's still worth the watch because it's well put together and the people that made it care about the genre.... and if you're not a fan of the genre, this may be a good jumping off point.... it gives you a lot to chew on.... bring a pen and paper with you so you can take notes.... because they throw a lot of good suggestions at you for movies to see.... ones that will take you through the history of horror cinema and it cuts out a lot of crap in the middle that just isn't worth mentioning.... but i would recommend that you take what you find here and do some branching out on your own.... there are a lot of gems that weren't mentioned and that i had to weed through to find.... but that's part of the fun of the movies.... 3 out of 5 stars....

other horror documentaries: 'His Name Was Jason', 'Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy' and 'Going To Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Fanboys'

so you want to see a movie written for fanboys about fanboys....? well, this is that movie.... and for some reason, i'm wondering what took me so long to see it....?!?! this movie is full of inside jokes.... nerd jokes.... movie jokes.... comic jokes.... and quoteable moments.... this movie is every fanboys dream.... right down to the lead girl in the Lea bikini from 'Jedi'.... not too mention it's about the 'Star Wars' movies.... and even touches on the 'Star Wars' vs. 'Star Trek' battle.... it's full of funny cameos.... it's never boring and the script is hilarious.... this movie has just about everything you could ask for.... i don't know that anything i could write would really do it justice.... you just have to see it to enjoy it.... and it's already got a spot on my DVD shelf for the day that i own it.... and, oh yes, i will own it.... this is one of those movies that you can watch over and over and enjoy it every time.... i think this will stand the test of time....

the premise involves the upcoming release of 'The Phantom Menace' and a group of fanboys who are counting down the days to see it.... they even have a plan to make a trip to Skywalker ranch to steal a print and see it 6 months before anyone else.... all of this is just talk until they find out that one of them has cancer and may not live to see it's release.... so they start off on a roadtrip across country to see if they can make their dream come true....
this movie has so much going for it.... and there is one scene in particular involving two famous folks that made me laugh so hard i nearly passed out.... and then pooped myself.... granted the whole movie doesn't have moments like that.... but it's still a very funny and entertaining movie.... something that i gave 4 out of 5 stars and recommend that all fanboys and girls go and watch.... if you haven't seen it already.... i know i look forward to seeing it again.... it's a rollercoaster ride of comedy and drama that is a just a great example of what good filmaking should be.... go watch it tonight....

other movies to watch: 'The Phantom Menace', 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' and 'Film Geek'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Lake Mungo'

with a title like 'Lake Mungo' it really doesn't tell you much about what to expect with this movie.... it's vague at best.... however, once you've seen the movie you understand the title.... it still seems to be a poor choice for a title to me, however i understand why they picked it.... that being said.... this is a well done movie.... not an entirely new premise, but still one that is pulled off decently.... the actors are well cast and do well with the source material.... this type of movie is almost becoming a genre unto itself.... the documentary style horror movie.... from 'The Blair Witch Project' to 'Paranormal Activity'.... this is another one to add to the list.... it's not based on any actual events, but it's presented in a way that you wouldn't be sure if you didn't know it was fictional....

the story centers around a 16 year old who mysteriously drowns.... and not long after her death, strange things begin happening around her home.... and her family isn't sure what to make of it.... so they begin to investigate to see wht they can find out.... what they find is disturbing.... and slowly over time a puzzle emerges as they find out more and more about their daughter.... and who she was before she died.... it raises more questions and brings about more problems.... and soon things come to a head as they finally get all of their answers....
i found this to be a 3 out of 5 star rating.... i don't think it really deserved more or less.... it's an average movie.... not really scary, but clever.... something that's worth the time to watch.... just not something for repeated viewings.... and i have to admit that the scenes at Lake Mungo are the most shocking and interesting of the entire movie.... and i recommend that if you do watch this OnDemand that you stick around through the credits to see some more questions that you didn't even know you had, answered.... it's not gory.... it's kind of slow....but the payoff is pretty well worth it.... and i'm not a huge fan of ghost stories....

if you like this, watch: 'The Blair Witch Project', 'Quarantine' and 'Paranormal Activity'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Air Guitar Nation'

i saw you playing air guitar.... you know you've done it.... i think we all have at some point.... but who knew there were championships for this....?!?! that it's nearly a sport....?!?! and that the world finals are held in Finland....?!?! i didn't know any of it before hearing about this on the radio when it first came out.... and i've been waiting to see it ever since.... and last night was the night.... it was OnDemand and ready to go.... it's a one of a kind documentary that you won't see any other documntary about.... it's fun.... and you'd think that they're poking fun at these people.... as the whole thing seems kind of silly.... but the joke wears off quick and you realize how seriously people take this "artform".... and by the end, you respect the guys for their 'airness' and wonder if you might be able to compete yourself.... the only real problem i would have with competing is having the balls to get before a large audience and pretend to play a guitar.... i think i'd be on the sidelines.... but hey, that's just me.... one side note on this, the 'sport' is growing.... so you'll probably be hering more and more about this as time goes on....

the movie centers around two competitors, Bjorn Turoque (Born to Rock) and C-Diddy.... it follows their rise among the different levels of competition all the way to the worl championships.... it also sheds a light on a subculture that most of us probably never even knew existed.... every character in the movie is interesting.... you want them to succeed and you get behind their journey.... i couldn't help but find myself cheering them on by the end of the movie.... and getting excited to see what kind of performance would come out of each person.... and they're from all over the world.... now the competition between the two main characters reminds me slightly of the movie 'The King if Kong'....
i don't know why anyone hasn't done a documenty on this before.... it seems to be a no-brainer.... who wouldn't want to see people pretend to play guitar in costmes and fake personas....? i knew i didn't think twice.... it's amazingly well done.... i'm suprised how fascinating the documentary filmakers made this.... i mean it's a sideshow all on its own.... but they took it to a whole different level.... i would even consider watching this one again.... it's just so much fun.... i gave it a high 3 out of 5 stars.... it's fantastic. go. watch. now.

the only other similar documentary is: 'The King of Kong'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Zombies of Mass Destruction'

once again, a simple browse through Netflix and you come across a little slice of gold.... i'd heard of this once a while ago.... but forgot about it.... and when i saw it pop up, i did a little research and heard a lot of good things.... so i added it to the queue and watched it the same night.... wow.... what a keen little flick.... it proves that there are still good zombie movies being made under the radar.... this is kind of along the lines of 'Shaun of the Dead'.... ie: kind of funny, but this one is not over the top hilarious.... it's more satire.... i mean, you can probably gauge that from the title.... and the tagline on the poster.... it is a bit of a commentary of the state of affairs in 2003, when the movie is set.... the characters are unique and fun to watch.... the situations are silly and gory.... i mean the special effects are pretty damn well done.... a LOT of blood and guts.... almost anime-ish.... the zombies are traditional and creepy.... they shamble, not run.... the one big difference is that with the actual premise of the movie, the dead don't come back from the grave.... they're living people who've been turned.... or killed by a zombie and come back.... that's a huge change from a lot of the movies like this you'd normally see.... but once again, another simliarity to 'Shaun of the Dead'....

the small town of Port Gamble is over run by hordes of zombies after terrorists release a biological weapon that creates zombies.... (hence 'Zombies of Mass Destruction').... the movie centers around a group of different people who's lives all intersect over the course of the evening of the outbreak.... you've got gun toting Republicans, two gay men who came to town for one of them to come out, an Iranian family who get the finger pointed at them for the mess, two candidates running for mayor, an overzealous preacher and the rest of the town....
this is a really well done movie.... i recommended it to zombie fans of either the regular kind or the funny kind.... this covers both.... it's well written.... the zombie action is high quality.... the characters are ones you can get behind and you care about what happens to them.... it has it's share of twists and turns and is well worth the time to invest in watching it.... so if you've run out of good zombie movies to watch these days.... this one is one you should watch.... it'll make you feel good and get out that zombie cravings you've been having.... it's OnDemand right now.... so no wait for Netflix to bring it to your mailbox.... i gave it 3 out of 5 stars with the consideration of giving it 4.... watch it and check it out.... i think you'll dig it....

if you like this, check out: 'Dead Alive aka Brain Damage', 'Shaun of the Dead' and 'Hide and Creep'

my brief thoughts on.... 'I Think We're Alone Now'

remember the 80's pop star Tiffany....? well, this documentary focuses on two people who do.... REALLY do.... Jeff, a 50-year-old man with Asperger's syndrome, and Kelly, an "intersexual" (Hermaphrodite) who claims to have had an inspirational friendship with the singer when they were teens.... these two go beyond fans into the realm of creepy stalkers.... as a matter of fact, Jeff was forced to stay away from Tiffany while she was in her teens and he was in his 30's.... it was a 3 year restriction, but nowadays he goes to all the shows he can and seems to get as close to her as often as he can.... he's got hundreds of pictures with her.... hugs her, gets cheek kisses.... so i guess all was forgiven finally.... Kelly seems to think that it's her/his destiny to be with Tiffany and that's all there is to it.... he/she believes it so deeply it's disturbing and sad at the same time.... Kelly has never had a relationship and is a lonely individual.... where as Jeff is a bit more outgoing and has friends.... he's still way over the top.... i've seen horror movies that aren't nearly as scary as this documentary.... it makes me glad not to be famous.... or a hot redheaded singer.... either way....
this is a 3 out of 5 star 1 hour documentary.... and i can't recommend it enough as a study of the human condition.... these two people are so bizarre and out there that they have to be seen to be believed.... i am still in shock at them both.... i felt dirty after watching them.... and it was funny at the end that Jeff, realizing that Tiffany was happily married and only going to be a friend, brought up another obsession.... Alyssa Milano.... i nearly lost it when i saw this turn of events.... because it just showed how messed up he was.... and Kelly i just felt sad for.... they were both so socially inept and akward.... it hurt.... this really is something that you have to see to believe and thank goodness it's OnDemand right now.... so don't miss out....! i can't compare it with any other documentary.... and if i didn't know that it was real, i would almost think it was a mockumentary.... it's so over the top and strange.... anyway.... it just makes me wonder what Debbie Gibson has to put up with....

i can't think of anything else like this.... check this out and tell your friends

my brief thoughts on.... 'Black Sheep' (2006)

what is it about New Zealand and great filmaking....? not only the countryside, but the movies themselves.... they're are just so many good ones.... and now i can add this one to the list.... this also tied in with my other movie i reviewed here 'Isolation'.... in my "Farmland Massacre' double feature.... first off, this movie has Peter Jackson written all over it.... and i'm suprised he didn't produce it or something.... i mean, it feels like some of his original works long before the 'Lord of the Rings' movies.... not to mention, WETA Workshop did the special effects.... and they're Peter Jackson's go to guys.... i can't say that i saw any CGI here.... it seems that everything was done the old school way.... which i prefer.... i think the other way is cheating in horror films.... just because it's so noticable.... however, this just feels homemade with a bigger budget.... which is another great thing about New Zealand.... they fund filmakers.... the government.... why can't we support the arts more here....?!?! it's messed up.... anyway.... this is a comedy that got a lot of press and deserves all of the good press it received.... it's a great movie.... alone or in a group....

similar to 'Isolation', this movie directly links to the idea that genetics are to blame for the massacre that follows.... as the head of the sheep farm it's trying to create the perfect sheep.... but the side effects of the research creates something horrific.... killer sheep that attack humans and kill them.... and if they don't kill them, then they turn them into Were-Sheep.... giant half human half sheep monsters.... you have our hero who has a fear of sheep due to a traumatic childhood experience.... a heroine who is an animal rights activist and their fight for their lives from the killer sheep....
it's a totally unique story.... or maybe more of a unique twist on an old theme.... one that by itself is funny in theory.... but is even funnier carried out.... to see such docile creatures turn violent is crazy.... it just has to be seen to be believed.... i not only found myself laughing out loud, but i cringed at the gore at times and even felt the tension as our heros are being chased and running for their lives.... i easily gave this 4 out of 5 stars.... and it deserves every one of them.... it's totally different than 'Isolation', but it's still a fantastic way to spend an evening.... and i recommend watching them together.... they don't make 100% sense together, but where else are you going to find two movies about farmland killing sprees....? i can't think of any other ones off the top of my head....

if you like this, try: 'Isolation', 'Bad Taste' and 'Dead Alive aka Brain Damage'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Isolation'

i remember the first time i saw the man eating cow in 'The Tick' comic book way back in the early 90's.... however, i never thought i'd see a movie that kind of portrayed that character in real life.... but this little Irish movie took that idea a bit and brought it to a whole different level.... granted there are no man eating cows.... but their are cows that kill.... and this ties together with the other review i put up here for 'Black Sheep' (2006).... it was my "Farmland Massacre" double feature.... right off the bat, i have to say that this movie is extremely well done.... it's old school special effects, no CGI.... it's a true creature feature like from the days of old.... the last one i saw that was similar to this was the movie 'Splinter'.... that's one of the reasons i give this movie a lot of props.... it was very gooey and gory and full of nasty bits.... all of it done by someone in a workshop.... not on a computer.... and i can really respect that.... it's just not done that much anymore.... and i also give this movie a lot of credit for originality.... i can honestly say that i've never heard of this premise, never seen anything similar, it's unique.... just for that reason it's worth it to watch it.... not too mention, the directing and cinematography and actors are great.... it's a very brooding and dark, gritty film.... and yes, it's about cows.

the story revolves around a single farmer who has agreed to have a cow of his experimented on by an outside group.... they're trying to create more fertile cows to increase production for milk, food, etc.... so basically the intentions are good.... however, something goes terribly wrong.... the cow that they're testing on is pregnant and the calf bites more than one person in utero and once it's out.... because of this, they have to kill the cow and eventually the mother.... but while examining the calf, they realize it was pregnant too.... soon after this, all hell breaks loose on the farm as people begin dying one after another.... it becomes a massacre....
i just happened across this movie on accident.... it was mentioned in a review for 'Black Sheep' (2006).... and was recommended as a follow up or tie in to the other movie.... and luckily it was OnDemand, so while i had 'Black Sheep' rented i could watch this one too.... i really recommend that you watch this.... as it's something you can see that's totally new.... it's a very fresh feeling movie.... i don't know why more people haven't heard of it.... it's one of those little gems that you have to hear about from word of mouth.... now, i've mentioned several times that there are cows and killing in this, but what does the killing is a cow in a way.... but it's something much more horrific in reality.... and the final act of the movie you really can feel the tension of the whole situation and it's got it's tense and scary moments.... it's a very effective movie.... and i tip my hat to the director and writer for creating such a tight little movie.... i gave it 3 out of 5 stars with a slight edging towards 4.... however, it may take another viewing before it pushes me over the edge.... you may think differently.... regardless.... add it to the queue and check it out.... maybe have some milk and cookies while watching it.

other films like this: 'Alien', 'Black Sheep' (2006)and 'Splinter'

my brief thoughts on.... 'Broken'

i've just finished this movie and i can honestly say i have no idea how i feel about it.... it doesn't make "Saw look like a children's film." but it starts out pretty harshly.... and was hard to watch.... but the entire 2nd act is far from gut wrenching or disturbing.... it's a lot of washing of pots and pans and our heroine trying to escape from her captor.... i can say this about the movie.... i had no idea where it was going.... i mean, it seemed pretty cut and dry, but it never really let on how it would end.... so it did hold my attention.... and when another women joined the group as another captive, things got more interesting.... it just never reached any sort point or reason why we should bother watching it.... it's weird to feel that way about a movie.... but it's kind of the sense i got.... that i was just watching it because it was on and it wasn't really going anywhere specific.... i can honestly say that after finishing it, that the writer was dragging us along for this ride just so we could reach the ending.... it was just shocking enough and disturbing that it left you feeling like the wind got knocked out of you.... and maybe that was the point of the rest of the movie being so evenly paced.... so you get lulled into a sense of safety.... i don't know....

a person just listed in the credits as 'The Man' is hard at work putting women through a series of tortures to see how far they'll go.... and if they're worthy to ultimatly be his slaves.... you see more than one woman unable to take the torture.... but one woman is so determined to find her child that she's willing to do anything to live long enough to find out what The Man has done with her.... and this is no short period of time we're talking about.... nearly two months of being held captive and yet she holds on to hope that she'll escape and find out what happened or her captor will tell her something....
this movie got a lot of bad press for it's treatment of women and i see why.... the first 20 minutes are pretty hard to watch.... but if you've seen 'Saw' or 'Hostel', it's nothing you can't stomach.... but as you can imagine the woman gradually gains the power.... and it's no longer about women in bondage.... but as i said earlier on, do we really care in the end....? i can't say.... it's such a weird little movie.... it reminds me slightly of 'Wolf Creek', but without the non-stop horror.... this movie is more about the put coming to a boil.... anyway.... i gave it 2 out of 5 stars.... not something i would recommened.... and if you want to know the ending, drop me a line and i'll give it up to you.... so you don't have to sit through the rest.... this is mediocre at best.

other similar-ish movies: 'Wolf Creek', 'Saw' and 'Hostel'

just my thoughts.... on peoples judgements.

as some of you may or may not know.... depending on if you follow me on Facebook or not.... and if you don't, you should.... i've been catching a lot of hell on and off the Facebook page for my movie watching habits.... as all of you who are reading this also read my blog, you know my viewing habits.... it's a mix of genres, but i prefer horror.... i've also stated that not everything that i watch gets written about.... i don't write about the TV that i watch.... i don't write about movies that i watch that i've already seen and reviewed.... and it's an even blend between everything.... it's not all just horror, that would be boring.... and it's not all just one genre of any kind.... that's what's so wonderful about TV and cinema.... there's something for everyone and every mood.... and if you don't like what you see, find something else....! if it was all saturated with just one thing, no one would go and see movies or rent them or watch broadcast television.... people would probably read more books.... (which wouldn't be a bad thing.).... anyway, my point.... i've been catching hell lately for my love of the horror genre.... now that all comes about because i'm in the midst of the some mental issues which are being addressed by a psyche and a therapist.... whom BOTH know what i do in my spare time.... and probably know more about me than the majority of people that know me.... and they seem to have no problems with any of it.... so why the heck is everyone else playing armchair psyche....? they're not the ones who have to struggle every single day just to get the strength to go into a job which creates such panic that i have to take large doeses of meds to be able to function.... the amounts that would leave most people drooling.... yes, i have a severe anxiety disorder and depression.... but it's being treated and has been all along.... but when i come home to the safety of my living room....what the heck difference does it make what i watch....?!?! it's my time to get my relief and release from the daily shackles of my anxiety and just relax.... it's just that simple....

everyone needs that in their life.... we all need stress relievers.... and for me, it's watching something and writing about it.... it fills my quest for entertainment and my need to be creative.... is there something wrong with that....? i'm a 36 year old man.... i've lived long enough to make my own decisions and to do whatever i want.... i have a family that i support.... a life that i live.... and if i want to spend a little quiet time with Mr. TV, so be it....! and everyone comes down on horror so hard.... it serves a purpose.... just like comedy allows you the release of laughter and the joy of that.... or action allows you to live out your testosterone filled fantasy life.... or drama lets you have a good cry over other peoples problems so you can forget about your own.... horror allows you to face you fears.... the things that you fear the most in real life take on the persona of some fictional monster and you get the chance to face it and stare it down.... it releases that primal instinct that we all have to be strong and that we can deal with anything.... granted not any one particular genre is for everyone, but i don't go around saying, "You watch too many dramas and it's making you a big drama queen. You over react to everything and life is just one horrific disaster after another.".... that would be silly.... no one would do that.... but those of us who love horror are demonized and looked down upon because of our personal preferences.... and i bet that the majority of us in this category are more well adjusted then those in the other categories.... what's my point to all of this....? i just want it to stop.... you live your life, i'll live mine.... if we share an interest, then great! let's talk about it.... if i like something you do to, then great! let's talk about it.... but if you just here to bash me in the head for something that i love.... take a look in the mirror.... passing judgement on people, last time i checked, was wrong.... we're all here to live our lives how ever we please.... and to be happy.... as long as we're not hurting anyone else in the process then what's the problem....? so for those of you out there thinking you have all the answers.... please, keep them to yourselves.... if you don't like what i write about here, feel free to post a comment as to why you hated the movie or what i said.... free speech is welcome.... but don't brow beat me to death outside of this or in real life.... because for every finger you point at me, there's 3 more pointing right back at you.

end of story.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Repo! The Genetic Opera'

i've never been much of a fan of musicals.... and i may catch flack for this, but i'm not even a fan of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'.... that's the closest thing i can relate to this.... although this movie is not funny.... it still has it's satirical moments, but it's not ha ha funny.... now before you go to watch this movie.... (which is OnDemand).... you should know it is a full on musical.... there is very little talking.... it's 98.5% singing.... well, maybe not a musical.... to be more correct, a rock opera.... because it has big guitars, bass and drums.... and is anything but quiet.... the big difference between this movie and other ones like it is that it's not afraid to pull any punches.... this is full of blood, guts, gore and icky stuff.... i mean, it's about repossesing body parts.... it has to have it's share of horror.... and it's not subtle.... this movie has a lot going for it just as a horror film.... but when you add that additional layer of music, it turns it into something entirely different.... and i can't decide exactly how i feel about it....

this is set in the future where a plague or something has caused a large part of the population to suffer from organ failures.... it wipes out a huge portion of society.... and the people that are left turn to a big corporation who are willing to provide replacement organs to save lives.... and they'll even put them on an installment plan.... but this comes with a potential price.... as they get the ability to reposses the organs if they default on their payments.... that's where the repo men come into play.... meanwhile, the head of the corporation is dying and his three children are all eyeing the throne.... and he has yet to name a replacement.... that's just the meat of it.... there's a lot of other things going on as well.... the side dishes to the main course....
so after all of this.... have i changed my opinion on musical/rock operas....? not really.... i still find them hard to watch.... and i can't really say why.... all i know is that something just doesn't sit right with me when i watch them.... this movie was the better of the ones i've seen.... i mean where else can you see Bill Moseley, Paris Hilton, Alexa Vega (of 'Spy Kids'), Paul Sorvino, Sarah Brightman and some actor who goes by the name Ogre....? the cast was excellent.... the music was interesting.... the story was original.... it was well directed and the cinematography was well done.... i don't really have anything bad to say about it.... i just can't get past my bias.... oh well, maybe someday.... until then.... i don't regret seeing this.... i just don't know if i'll need to see it again anytime soon.... oh and it's a 3 out of 5 star rating from me.

if you like this, check out: 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show', 'Cannibal! The Musical'....are there any others....?

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Raw Meat'

Donald Pleasence is the only thing worthwhile in this movie.... he's actually funny.... and after seeing him in all of the 'Halloween' movies being so serious, this was a nice change of pace.... other than that.... this was dull, boring, slow, uninteresting and all around lame.... i don't know where any of the good reviews came from.... i mean, it was the 70's.... but there were good movies that came out of that time period.... this just wasn't one of them.... and another thing, i like slow paced movies.... some of my top 10 favorite movies are extremely slow.... however, this was slow without a purpose.... ugh.
the last of some trapped people who resorted to cannibalism to survive in the subway system starts stalking subway riders.... there's some deaths.... the police get involved.... stuff happens and it ends.

i couldn't wait for it to end.... i was bored to tears.... 1 out of 5 stars.... not even Donald Pleasence could save this piece of garbage.... it's OnDemand if you're looking for a way to go to sleep tonight.... it's like NyQuil for moviegoers.... crap, crap, crap....

there's some paint drying, i'll watch that instead of this again.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Survival of the Dead'

for the longest time this was just called '....Of the Dead'.... eventually George A. Romero chose a full title.... and thus we had 'Suvival of the Dead'.... now as you all know, George A. Romero is my hero.... he created the modern zombie and my favorite sub-genre of the horror world.... i love zombies more than any other monster out there.... so just knowing that George was taking on yet another zombie epic made me happy.... what's kind of interesting though, is that the first 4 films: 'Night of the Living Dead' (1968), 'Dawn of the Dead' (1978), 'Day of the Dead' (1985), and 'Land of the Dead'.... were all part of a series of films.... a quadrilogy of sorts.... he didn't necessarily start out to make them be a series, but it kind of organically happened and he made an epic series of films.... since then he almost rebooted his own series.... 'Diary of the Dead' was a new take on the original genre.... we're still dealing with the shambling dead, but it's at the beginning of the outbreak.... so it's a do-over.... it's like the first 4 movies never happened.... then with 'Survival of the Dead' he ties it in with 'Diary of the Dead' in such a way that it's almost a sequel.... which could mean more in the series.... despite the fact that critics say that George has said all he can say with the zombie genre.... he seems to still have stories to tell.... and as long as i'm alive and he's alive, i'll keep seeing an zombie movies he puts out.... despite how good or bad they may be.... so far, i've been satisfied with all of his work to date.... and this movie was no exception.... do i honestly think this will reach out to all of the masses and leave an impression, no. i'll be honest.... this is for die hard fans.... i don't know that the casual horror film buff would count this as a modern masterpiece or anything.... the story is original and the characters are kind of a mixture of characters from all his other movies.... and he's started to rely some more on humor in his films to help carry them and make them seem more fresh.... some of it works, some doesn't....

the story revolves around two seperate groups of people.... some rogue army members who are living by their own laws and just trying to stay alive.... it also involves two groups at war on a small island debating on whether it's better to keep the zombies and try to train them to eat something else or to kill them all and live safetly on the island away from the threat of the outbreak.... the first group overtakes the second group and banishes them off of the island into the real world where the outbreak is all to real.... where the two sets of main characters collide is when the army folks hear that the group that's been banished has plans to go back to the island and take it back over and make it safe for families to live on.... thus begins a shaky partnership.... of course all is going well until they get to the island and things get sketchy and what was going to be a peaceful ending to a horrific situation.... ends up far from peaceful....
i can honestly say this isn't George's strongest work to date.... but it was an enjoyable ride and a unique take on a genre that has been over saturated with the same things over and over.... he was able to create something new and different.... but compared to some of the other things that George has done outside of zombie films, this is still his bread a butter.... and i hope that he continues to play with genre.... i think he has some more interesting tales to spin.... now my ratings on this movie are a little biased due to my love of the genre and of George A. Romero.... it's because of this that i gave it 4 out of 5 stars.... do i think that it 100% deserves that high of a rating, i'm not sure.... all i know is that i enjoyed my time spent watching it and know that it will be added to my DVD collection when i get the money together to do so.... as no zombie collection is complete without all of Romero's work.... and this is the only one i'm missing.... go watch it if you have the time.... but go into it just expecting to have fun.... don't expect high art and i think you'll get a kick out of it....

if you like this, check out: 'Diary of the Dead', 'Land of the Dead' and 'Day of the Dead' (1985)