Sunday, September 8, 2013

3 Day Zombie Movie Fest Weekend! (epilogue) - my thoughts on.... 'Zombies vs. Strippers'

A zombie movie fest? It was bound to happen. I've had several zombie movies in my queue, waiting to be seen. However, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to watch them and I didn't have the time. But, with the 3 day weekend upon me.... I figured there was no time like the present! So I fired up Netflix and away we go!

Full Moon Features is certainly not the mark of quality, but that doesn't mean that they're not entertaining. I've seen more of their movies than I care to admit to. Ever since I was in college, my friends and I spent many wasted nights enjoying the movies of Full Moon. It's been about a decade since I've seen anything from them. As a matter of fact, I wasn't even sure they still existed. So, when 'Zombies vs. Strippers' started, I was shocked when the Full Moon logo appeared! It sent a wave of nostalgia through my brain and quickly told me what I could expect over the next 80 minutes.

Now, the title automatically tells you what to expect. It's not a clever way to get people to watch and then the movie features werewolves and midgets.... oh no, it's nothing but strippers and zombies. If you want nudity, this movie has it. If you want zombies chewing on people, this movie has it. If you want high quality art house film making, this movie doesn't have it. This movie is just a big, dumb, reason to sit around and watch zombies chase after topless women. Plain and simple. This one won't leave a mark in the zombie genre and will most likely be forgotten by anyone who sees it. It's not a movie that anyone would aspire to have in their collection. It's just a reason to kill time.

The plot, is simple. (surprised?) A strip club owner is on the verge of losing his club and is trying one last time to make it work. During the last hurrah, a zombie outbreak occurs and the world begins to collapse. Everyone at the strip club is completely oblivious to the end of the world. Instead, they're having a going away party. Then the outside world starts to creep in and everything goes to hell. It's an all out battle of zombies vs. strippers, who will win? Who cares? That's it. Plain and simple.

There's no reason to watch this movie, but there's no reason to not watch it. If you like zombies and sleazy strippers, that's all you need to know to make your decision on whether you watch it or not. The make up is pretty terrible. The acting is sub-par. The sets are a joke. It has all the same earmarks that Full Moon had in the 90's, which is sad and awesome.... all at the same time. There's a Michael Jackson impersonator zombie. There's character stereotypes out the yin yang here. This movie has so many cliches that it goes beyond being bad and back to good again and then back to being bad. I really wanted to like this movie, I really did. It honestly had me hooked within the first 15 minutes. The problem is, there was never really any pay off. The further it went along, the worse things became. It's almost like the writer started out strong, but got a hernia, ended up in the hospital and his 13 year old son took over. This one had so much potential and could've been a bit of a cult classic. Instead, it just ended up being another reason to wonder why in the hell you just wasted an hour and twenty minutes of your life.

If I could change one thing about this movie, it would be everything. 'Zombies vs. Strippers' should sell itself by it's title alone. Sadly, you can't infuse charm and charisma into a movie that lacks it. If a movie is built around all of the right elements, it doesn't matter how bad it is.... it can still be wildly successful. I've seen movies shot on a value meal budget that amazed me. A good script, an original story, something to set it apart can turn a horrible movie into a classic. With all of that being said, I will give this movie one big shout out of respect: the cast was 100% committed to their characters. No matter what was going on around them and no matter how bad things were, they stuck to their guns and sold it like they were working with Ron Howard and not Clint Howard. I wish that would have been enough. I really, really did. Full Moon used to mean high quality crap with a heart. This had some of that flavor and flare, but not enough to make me want to dive back in to the deep end of their pool. Sorry 'Zombies vs. Strippers', you're not two great tastes that taste great together.

2 out of 5 stars

If you hated this or liked this, check out: 'Zombie Strippers', 'Doghouse' and 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead'

1 comment:

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