my very brief thoughts on.... 'Darkness' (2002)

I don't know that I have that much to say about this movie. I had high hopes as it was written and directed by Jaume Balagueró who also made '[REC]' and '[REC]2'. This movie was NO WHERE close to either or those movies. It wasn't even close to the short movie he made called, 'To Let aka Para entrar a vivir'. Perhaps once he went back to make movies in Spanish and stopped working for the American movie houses, he had the freedom to make things the way he wanted. Granted, 'Darkness' isn't without some glimmers of hope. The shaky cam that he uses in 'To Let aka Para entrar a vivir' are present in this early movie. It's not used as effectively, but it still creates an uneasy feeling and dread. I guess this was just an artist sharpening his skills. I only wish I could have avoided spending 1 and a half hours of my life to come to that conclusion. Well, you live and you learn.

The plot is somewhat along the lines of a house is built, 7 kids have to be killed by people they love during an eclipse to release the darkness. One of the kids escapes, a family moves into the home, weird stuff starts happening and then things get crazy and it ends. Don't bother watching this. Watch his later movies instead. I think he's got some really great stuff yet to come. Perhaps he'll bring the Spanish horror cinema to the level of the French. Either way, I'm going to keep watching the progression and have fun for the whole ride.

I gave this 1 out of 5 stars. The 1 star is for the shaky cam, that's it. I guess now I have to finish watching more of his movies to see if maybe some of the other ones will be better than this. *sigh*

If you like this, you might want to take your meds.... you may have missed your morning doses.

my brief thoughts on.... 'Paranormal Entity'

i've stayed away from the ripoffs of popular films, ever since i saw some of 'Tranmorphers'.... blech.... this appeared to be one of those "mockbusters".... however, i thought that i'd give it a shot.... i mean, how bad could it be....? well, i stand corrected.... this was actually pretty well done and although it felt a lot like 'Paranormal Activity', it was still its own movie.... and a pretty good one at that.... the story is pretty different.... a bit more violent.... and creepy.... the acting was above par for your average straight to DVD release.... the effects were well done, what few there were.... i honestly felt chills a few times.... this is available OnDemand right now.... and i would ask that you consider watching it.... it just proves that not all of these types of films are bad....

here's the plot.... footage is found in the attic of a home where multiple murders occured and only one man survived, who was accused of the crimes.... these videos are put together to make the movie.... as evidence of what happened....
i gave it 3 out of 5 stars.... i think it was a nice bookend to 'Paranormal Activity' and something that if you like that type of faux-real-footage type of movie, this may be for you.... i don't know if i'd need to own this or ever watch it again.... however, i don't regret watching it.... it was good enough, that i would almost believe that this and 'Paranormal Activity' was shot at the same time and just happened to have similar plots.... and that one wasn't trying to copy the other.... but i really doubt that.... anyway.... check it out while you can.... you may be pleasently surprised....!

if you like this, watch: 'Paranormal Activity', 'Paranormal Acticity 2' and 'The Blair Witch Project'

my very brief thoughts on.... 'The Morgue'

imagine you're a screenwriter.... you've got a great idea for a movie.... so you write a script.... you get the money to get it produced.... you get not one, but TWO directors for it.... you get one name star.... and you make your dream movie.... your dream has now come true.... and that brilliant idea that started it all is now on celluloid for all the world to marvel at too.... amazing.

too bad it sucks.

this movie deserves less than 1 star, but that's not possible on Netflix.... and to be honest, i barely made it through this mess of a movie.... the only reason i even added it to the queue and was so quick to watch it was because of the fact that Heather Donahue (The Blair Witch Project) was getting top billing....! i couldn't wait to see her again.... little did i know what i was really in for.... good lord.... she only had about 20 minutes of screen time.... maybe total.... and i honestly i didn't care about any of the characters in this movie.... not even hers.... not even a little bit.... and what's the point of a horror movie or any movie if you don't give a rats ass about the characters involved....? i was hoping that maybe i'd get lucky, after about 15 minutes of the movie, that something would go drastically wrong at Netflix and i'd never be able to finish it.... oh well, that never happened....
here's the genius plot: a girl works at a morgue with only one other person, the nightwatchman. a family of 3 run out of gas and show up. two guys, who've been in an accident, show up. we keep getting flashbacks about a mortician who killed himself and has come back for his revenge. no one is safe. everything gets confusing and horribly edited. people start dying off one by one as the group tries to find a way to escape. but where's the nightwatchman? he's not the killer, but he's strangely missing and aloof. then the twist at the end happens. OOOO a twist.

do not waste one minute of your time to watch this.... stay away.... the twist is pulled off horribly.... it's kind of confusing at first.... and the script and editing job don't help things much.... honestly, who gives a damn anyway....? just thank god it's over.... i'm not demanding my time back.... i at least got to see Heather for awhile.... and she does so few movies it was nice.... but other than that.... garbage on film.... i have no idea why this was even made....? it should have stayed a script on someone's coffee table.... safe from the world.... anyway.... at least i can warn you.... don't even hope for the bad/good factor.... this is just bad/bad/bad.... 1 out of 5 stars, in case you didn't get that from my earlier comment.

in closing, it's like having your teeth pulled really slowly while under a mild sedation that causes things to be blurry.... but you still feel every pinch, pull and tug.... and your dentist is Stevie Wonder. got it....?

watch ANYTHING else.

my thoughts on.... 'The Last Winter'

Ron Perlman and Kevin Corrigan.... how can you go wrong....? well, they did. this movie had me bored for the first 45 mins, intrigued for the next 15 mins and then feeling extremely let down and sad for the last 41 mins or so.... this movie is a waste of time and energy....

some oil drillers and some eco-activists are in Alaska's untapped wilderness possibly about to start drilling.... some weird stuff happens and some people die.... then some bad special effects occur and a big confusing ending.... sounds good, right....?
1 out of 5 stars.... a complete waste of my time.... and don't let it be a waste of yours.... please, listen to Uncle Joel.

if you submit yourself to this.... perhaps you should try: well, anything else.

my thoughts on.... 'The House of the Devil'

nostalgia is a wonderful thing.... and as much as we love to watch the films that we love from the past.... we have to come to grips with the fact that new movies are made all the time and they have every right to an audience and may someday become the next generation of films you're nostalgic for.... but in this case, the director Ti West, has taken us back to a time when horror was at it's high point.... the late 70's early 80's.... this film is not just a mere attempt at capturing the time period, it's a complete throwback to another time.... right down to the 16 mm filmstock, the cheesy soundtrack, the credits, the storyline and the actors themselves look like they're straight out of the past.... and i think by using unknown actors it created that feeling even more.... it was impressive to say the least....

the story involves a young woman who is in desperate need of money.... and see a babysitter wanted poster on her college campus.... she decides to give them a call and see about the job.... needless to say, the man that answers is strange to say the least.... but she follows up on it anyway.... and eventually accepts.... once at the house she finds out it's not a baby she's sitting for, but an elderly woman.... again she isn't sure what to make of the whole situation, but the money is too good to pass up.... so she takes the job.... did i mention the story also involves a lunar eclipse....? that comes into play later.... i don't want to give away the whole plot, because it's just going to ruin the experience.... and that's exactly what this film is, an experience.... one that i highly suggest you take part in....
this story is appropriatly scary.... it has it's 'BOO!' moments.... it has dark themes and a healthy enough dose of blood and guts for most horror fans.... i just can't say enough good things about this movie.... and i wasn't sure i would even enjoy it as the only other film i've seen by Ti West was the below average 'Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever'.... this is leaps and bounds beyond that movie.... and it's kind of fun to feel nostalgic about a film you've never even seen before.... this is a rare film that just has to be seen.... so if you have the time and Netflix.... it's OnDemand and you should watch it tonight.... plain and simple....

4 out of 5 stars.... a strong film and one that deserves an audience.... i'd never heard of this until i just stumbled across it while goofing around on the Netflix site.... those are the best kind of suprises.... i could go on praising this film.... but i'd rather you just see it yourself and hopefully i haven't raised your expectations to high.... come into it with no expectations and you'll fall in love just like i did.... oh and one more thing, hail Satan.