my very brief thoughts on.... 'Demons 2' aka 'Dèmoni 2: L'incubo ritorna'

I am going to keep this short, as this movie doesn't deserve many words.

I enjoyed the first 'Demons'. It was a fun little addition to the zombie sub-genre. That is the only reason I decided to watch this.... that and I enjoy Asia Argento's work. (I didn't realize she was only like 11 years old in this movie.) Anyway, this was terrible. I got so incredibly bored by the end that I didn't care about anyone in it. I didn't care who lived or who died. This gets 1 out of 5 stars. A sequel that never should have been made.

Instead of wasting an hour and a half on this, watch the original 'Demons' instead.

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Four Boxes'

What does 'Four Boxes' mean? Well, it refers to 4 webcams set up and showing 4 different rooms in one house. It's an internet thing, you understand? I can honestly say after seeing this, that I wish I didn't know what it was about. This movie was about as pointless and dumb as they get. The characters were unlikable, the "villans" weren't interesting and in the end.... I felt like I wasted a lot of time for nothing. Think of the original 'April Fools Day', a huge let down. I don't understand why this movie had so much praise listed in the trailer, perhaps I'm missing something? I kind of doubt it though. This movie was nothing but a giant pile of crap with a tiny budget. 1 out of 5 stars at best. If you want to see a terrorist with a leaf blower of death wearing a studded lampshade on his head, then this is the movie for you.

My advice, eat a can of corn, take a crap in the toilet and count the number of corn in it, that would be more entertaining.

That's all I have to say about that.

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Stan Helsing'

I don't know why they bother making these movies anymore. This was a waste of time and energy for everyone involved. The End.

If you want to see a decent spoof movie, watch: 'Scary Movie'

my very brief thoughts on.... 'DIE-ner (Get it?)'

sometimes Netflix OnDemand causes me to watch things that i would never have seen before if it wasn't for them.... usually, it's a good thing.... in this case, it wasn't.... as you can probably already tell by the title 'DIE-ner (Get it?)' that this movie is not going to be a piece of top notch filmmaking.... but i figured, what the hell....? it's billed as a horror comedy.... it has zombies and a serial killer.... it sounds pretty sweet.... but the problem is: it's not funny, the zombies are extremely apathetic, the characters have no charisma, and the story is about as interesting as drinking a glass of luke warm water on a warm day.... and for some reason, i'm still watching it.... i don't know why i can't turn it off, i suppose that deep down i'm hoping it'll get better.... i always want to give an indie movie a shot as i know that someone put a lot of time and effort into making their movie outside of the Hollywood mainstream.... and i still hold that philosophy.... my only request to the filmmakers is that they need to make sure they have a worthwhile product that will leave an impression regardless of budget.... because i've seen other filmmakers be successful with almost no money, but an amazing idea....
alright.... so now what....? i'm in the middle of a movie that i'm not really enjoying but for some reason, i can't turn it off.... i don't know that i can even feel good about rating it, until it's over.... but i'm pretty sure we're looking at a 1 out of 5 star effort and a movie that i won't ever need to see again, unless i run out of Advil PM.... are we on the same page....?

if you like this, perhaps you were watching something else at the time and just got confused.... because i'm pretty sure that you were watching something other than this.... god, i hope so anyway.

my thoughts on.... 'Necrosis'

we all know the story of the Donner party, right....? the ill-fated pioneers who had to resort to cannibalism to survive.... well, this movie ties directly in with the Donner party.... however, in this version, the Donner party are not only cannibals.... they're also murding monsters who have the blood lust to kill anyone who comes into their campsite....! that's not the history i remember.... and i'm not sure why they had to base this story on a historical event, rather than make up some similar story to fit the needs of their little horror flick.... that being said....

the plot is simple and messy.... a bunch of people go up to a cabin in the woods to have a little r&r for a while.... but the locals warn them that it's not safe up there and to turn back.... do they listen....? nope. and off they go.... once up at the cabin they re-tell the story of the Donner party and how it occured on that very mountain they were sitting on.... and soon someone shows up dead, someone goes crazy and everything turns to crap.... meanwhile a snowstorm has trapped them up there about 20 years since the last time a series of murders occured at the same cabin.... which a scrapbook in the basement explained very clearly....

the movie is not without some redeeming qualities, but they're few and far between.... one of the bad things is using Tiffany as one of the stars.... yes, THAT Tiffany.... as in former teen pop idol.... she's terrible.... and most the acting is sub par at best.... the storyline is weak, the script is delivered with nothing more than high school acting chops.... the horror is mostly ghost related.... but it's not worth the price of admission.... and by the ending of the movie, it all just felt so sloppy that i couldn't get behind it.... and i really tried.... the only thing that made me happy about this movie was the cameo by Michael Berryman of 'The Hills Have Eyes' and many other classic horror films....

2 out of 5 stars.... it's available on Netflix OnDemand.... but don't waste you're time unless you're really bored and want to see history re-written.... i'm not sorry i watched it, but i never have to see it again.... ever.

if you like this movie, see some better films like: 'Ravenous', 'The Donner Party' and 'Cannibal! The Musical'