my thoughts on.... 'Postal'

before i start this review, i have to point out something odd.... both Brendan Fletcher (from Uwe Boll's 'Rampge') and Zack Ward (from Uwe Boll's 'Postal') were also both in 'Freddy vs. Jason' as brothers.... not that it's that strange, but i had to point it out.... because i'm a film nerd.

anyway.... i said i was done with my Uwe Boll fest.... but i guess i lied.... for some reason i had a vague interest in seeing this.... and after reading quite a few good reviews, i decided to give it a shot.... besides, i needed a good laugh.... and this delivered some decent humor and sight gags.... the characters were fun and the acting was okay.... for a farce, it was passable.... i never found myself bored with this story.... and since i'm not familiar with the video game, i wasn't ever comparing it with anything else.... i was just basing my opinion on the movie i was watching only....

Zack Ward plays a guy who lives in a trailer park and is at the end of his rope.... he can't find a job.... everybody is getting on his last nerve.... his wife is a monster of a woman who he finds out is cheating on him.... with everyone in town.... basically his life is a joke and he's just realizing it.... so he goes to visit his Uncle Dave, the leader of a cult.... and is asked to go in on a scam to get money for Uncle Dave to pay off the IRS.... at first he's hesitant, but eventually realizes he has nothing to lose.... so the rest is basically the heist and ensuing violence....
this movie has a good cast of people including Uwe Boll himself and the creator of the Postal video game.... and neither is taking themselves too seriously.... there's lots of sexy women, violence and comedy.... there's also full frontal nudity from Dave Foley from 'Kids in the Hall'.... the comedy pushes a lot of buttons and some of it is in really poor taste and other parts are in extremely poor taste.... needless to say it's not for the weak of comedy.... granted, some of it may have been a bit to soon to joke about, but it just shows that they didn't care about who they offended, as long as it moved the plot forward....

once again Uwe Boll gets a passing grade of 3 out of 5 stars.... the movie was entertaining, but not great.... it's probably nothing i would ever add to my collection or that i would really need to see again.... and i don't know that i would brag to my friends that i'd seen this.... however, it was worth the hour and a half in my opinion.... word to the wise, this movie isn't for everyone and if you're a fan of the game it may not be for you.... i can't say for sure, but most of the complaints i read were in regards to the game vs. the movie.... well, that's about it.... and this really does conclude my Uwe Boll fest.... i promise.

my thoughts on.... 'Stoic'

so my Uwe Boll fest has finally come to a close.... 'Stoic' being the last movie in the collection.... so far the count is 2 crappy movies and 1 great film.... what about 'Stoic' you might be asking....? well, i have to say i didn't hate it.... it's not a better movie than 'Rampage', but it's far above and beyond 'House of the Dead' and 'Seed'.... i honestly sat entranced by the actors performances.... each one of them were well cast and played their roles up to a "T".... the script was well written and supposedly this is based on true events.... which if that's the case, it makes it all that much more disturbing of a movie....

you have 4 prisoners in one cell.... they start out harmlessly enough playing a friendly game of poker for cigarettes.... soon a bet is placed for the winner of the next hand to have to eat an entire tube of toothpaste.... when the player who made the bet loses the hand and won't keep up his end of the bet, things start to spin out of control.... first they force him to eat the toothpaste.... but it just gets progressively worse from there.... as they continue to up the ante to the point where they carry out some of the most horrific acts on the poor man which eventually has some pretty tragic results.... however, i won't say ultimately what happens.... as Netflix OnDemand didn't have the entire movie available to watch.... it just suddenly cuts off right at the climax.... i mean, most of the important stuff has happened and you know the ending, but some closure would have been nice....
Mr. Boll has proven himself to be a 50/50 player in the directing, writing and producing game.... i think the key is for him to stay away from video game movies and stick to other stuff.... because it's where he shines.... i won't say that i'm a fan of his now.... but i have gained a little more respect for him and would watch another one of his movies if the plot intrigued me enough.... i can't believe i'm saying that.... but i will give credit where credit is due and i'm glad i took the time to give him another chance.... and you should too....

this movie gets 3 out of 5 stars.... and may not be something i'll own or need to watch again, but it was worth the time and energy i invested into watching it.... it was above par and Edward Furlong is always good to watch.... that being said.... my Uwe Boll fest has ended and now i can go back to real life.... i hope you've enjoyed this review.... (what an odd way to end this....?!?!)

my thoughts on.... 'Seed'

so my Uwe Boll fest continues.... as i feel it's only fair to judge the man on several of his films rather than to just judge him on just one.... and based on 'House of the Dead', i would hate him if that was the case.... my next movie was this little indie serial killer fest called 'Seed'.... i had low expectations.... but not as low as before i saw 'Rampage'.... the only name in this movie is Michael Pare.... who isn't really much of a name anymore.... but he does a good job as the policeman hot on the heels of Max Seed, the most prolific serial killer in history.... or that's what Uwe leads you to believe.... there's blood a plentry and lots of gore.... the only real problem i had from the get go was that they used animal cruelty videos in the beginning and middle to show the inhumanity of man.... and the videos were provided by PETA, so you can imagine how horrible they are.... i can handle all of the gross stuff in the movie, but the real horrors made this hard to watch.... especially those involving dogs.... i felt this wasn't necessary.... but i guess Mr. Boll did.

as i mentioned before, Max Seed is an extremely busy serial killer.... over the years he's murdered too many people to count.... and the stories of his exploits are legendary.... Michael Pare is the cop out to catch him.... and based on a tip they get, they go out to an old farmhouse on a road that has no name and isn't even on the map.... one by one, Seed kills off the policemen until Michael finally subdues him.... he's thrown in jail and sentenced to die.... for some reason they let him continue to wear his mask in jail.... but whatever.... eventually they submit him to the electric chair.... however the chair is subpar and the law states that if you electrocute a man three times for 45 secs a piece and he doesn't die, he goes free.... after 2 attempts, Seed doesn't die.... they pretend he's dead rather than take the chance on a third failed attempt.... and instead they bury him alive.... within hours, he's free from his underground prison and returns to kill everyone was involved with his execution....
i wouldn't call this a classic slasher.... and i wouldn't rate it as high as 'Rampage'.... it just fell short in so many areas.... and the PETA footage brought it down to an extremely low level.... it has it's high points.... some of the scenes are above average.... however the bad outweighs the good.... therefore i don't know that i would recommend it to fans of the genre.... it's depression, disgusting and not to well written.... i don't feel sorry that i watched it.... there are just some things that can't be unwatched.... and this almost ranks up there with something i wish i didn't watch....

all in all.... 2 out of 5 stars.... so far the count for Uwe is 2 bad movies and 1 good one.... i have one more movie on the hit parade called 'Stoic'.... and it's gotten pretty good reviews.... so i have my hopes up for a decent prison flick.... not too mention it has Edward Furlong in it.... so it can't be all bad.... but until then, i need something directed by Rob Zombie to wash the taste of this movie out of my mouth.... no seal of approval for 'Seed'.... none at all.

my thoughts on.... 'Rampage'

i'm not a fan of Uwe Boll.... but i'm not alone.... there are a lot of folks out there that feel the same way or worse.... people violently hate this director.... but this movie had an interesting premise and i read many reviews which had positive things to say.... so i took a chance.... and last night on Netflix OnDemand i watched it.... and let me just say............ i didn't hate it.... as a matter of fact it was quite the opposite.... this movie hit me on many different levels and reminded me a lot of the Gus Van Zant film 'Elephant', only not based on a true story.... but it did contain a lot of hand held camerawork and mostly improvisational dialogue.... which made it a bit more believable and more interesting for some reason.... i really hate to even admit what i just did.... but i'll give credit where credit is due.

the storyline follows Brendan Fletcher, who plays a young man still living with his parents and has no real direction.... his parents ask him to move out.... and he is hesitant to do so as he has gotten very comfortable in his lifestlye.... we find that he works at a auto repair shop.... he has a conspiracy nut best friend.... and he's building a suit made entirely of kevlar so he can go on the largest killing spree in history.... he lives in a small town and no one sees it coming or expects it.... nor do his parents, friends or anyone else....
the plot is simple, but well done.... the dialogue is real.... the violence is intense and excessive.... the main character is played excellently by Brendan Fletcher.... he made him come to life.... i was shocked at the amount of death and destruction in this movie.... i figured it would be violent, but not nearly this much.... he literally goes on a mass killing spree.... not the kind you see normally in a Hollywood film, but something with more of an independant vibe.... i think that's what makes this so enjoyable.... it's not Hollywood.... and that's probably due in part to it being directed by Uwe Boll.... the most hated director in America.... perhaps it has something with the fact that he is trying to prove to his detractors that he can produce, write and direct something worthwhile....

i actually gave this 4 out of 5 stars and would probably add it to my DVD collection.... that's how much i enjoyed it.... it was interesting from the beginning to the end.... and granted the end might be a little far fetched, but not so much that you can't suspend disbelief to enjoy the triumphs of our anti-hero.... i would recommend this to people who are fans of ultra violent films and serial killer type movies.... basically, anything with an insane amount of killing for no real reason at all.... catch it while it's OnDemand, becuase it's one of the few movies you can't rent the real deal.... enjoy....!