my brief thoughts on.... 'Trouble Every Day'

Ah, yes.... the French horror cinema. Yet again another movie from across the pond. It stars Beatrice Dalle and Vincent Gallo in a story of erotica and canniblism. Sounded like an interesting mix and I am a fan of Vincent Gallo, so it seemed like a no brainer. Well, what I didn't count on was the fact that this was from the first half of the 2000's. At that time, the French still felt like a movie had to be pretentious to be good and by my count there hasn't been one good horror movie that was pretentious. I'm not saying that they don't exist, I'm just saying that they're like oil and water.... they don't mix. Now this movie isn't in French, not the whole thing anyway. It's a mix of French and American.... I suppose so Vincent Gallo wouldn't need to learn the language. The cover for the DVD, the stills from the movie and some certain scenes in it were just beautiful. Very well done images of a bloody woman doing different things. All things pointed to a good movie going experience. Well, things didn't work out that way. If this movie had been made last year and was like this, then I might have lost faith in the French horror cinema. Luckily it was from long enough ago that I can forgive the error in judgement.

The plot is simple. A man, who becomes cannibalistic when he's aroused heads to France with his girl. He's taken a job over there and is moving to start a life there. Meanwhile, a woman with the same afflection is basically a prisoner in her own home. The doors and windows are all sealed up and she is almost an animal. A couple of guys come by there very often and try to get in. She keeps enticing them to break in, but her intentions aren't pure. The man is doing everything he can to contain his urges, however it eventually overwhelms him. Soon he meets up with the woman in the house and things kind of get messy. This movie was not good. Maybe I missed the point, I hope that was the case. It was just so slow and there was hardly any dialouge and when people did speak, it didn't seem to move the plot along much. A lot of things are implied and a lot of that leads to confusion. The scenes mentioned earlier of blood and the woman are the only parts of this movie that were worthwhile. They're shot in a way that's very flattering even with the subject matter involved. I really wanted to like this movie. It had the recipe for something that could have been great. It's not because it was slow, I like movies that build to a climax no matter how slow. It's not because it was a bit pretentious, movies can be pretentious and still be good. It's not because of the actors, they're good actors.... it was just that they were in a bad movie.

This is something that I never need to see again. A 1 out of 5 star movie will, generally, always be a 1 out of 5 star movie. This just had nothing worth talking about. I wish I could pinpoint the reason it was so terrible. There are a lot of reviewers out there that thought this was a great movie. Maybe I'll never understand why that is and to be honest, I don't know that I care to understand. I don't want my money back, nor do I regret spending the time on it. This movie has been on my radar as something to see for a long time. I just finally felt it was the right time to watch it. Now I can move on with my life and it's one more free space in my Netflix queue. I'm not a fan of cannibals and this just adds another nail in their coffin.

Good French horror films: 'Haute Tension aka High Tension', 'À l'intérieur aka Inside' and 'La Horde aka The Horde'

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Jack Ketchum's Offspring'

The first Jack Ketchum adaptation I saw was 'The Girl Next Door', it was horrifying. It wasn't a 'horror' movie, but the subject matter was extremely hard to watch. The next one I watched was 'The Lost'. I still haven't made it the whole way through. For some reason I just couldn't get into it. Recently I've been reading alot about a movie called 'The Woman'. From what I understand, it's the sequel to 'Offspring'.... therefore I thought I should watch this one first. 'The Woman' has gotten a lot of positive notice's and was directed by Lucky McKee with Angels Bettis starring in it. Perhaps I should start re-thinking my habit of being a "completionist". I could have lived my entire life without sitting through the movie 'Offspring'. 1) I'm not a fan of the zombie sub-genre of cannibalism. 2) I've not seen too many Ghost House Underground productions that I've enjoyed.... in fact, I can't even think of one right now. 3) With my Jack Ketchum track record, why would I put myself out on a limb to undertake another one? But I did it anyway and now I kind of regret it.

This movie is about a group of cannibal's that live in hiding near a very populated area. Somehow they've gone without being noticed for a long time. There is a police officer that has been tracking them, but with no luck. The cannibal's are in the middle of trying to kidnap a baby to steal its power. They end up at a home of a family and proceed to kill the family and only a visiting friend, her son and the families baby escape. They hide out in the forest behind the house and try and wait out the cannibalistic killers. The cops find out about the murder scene and soon everyone is trying to find the missing members of the family and the friends. The cannibal's proceed to kill a lot of people, the surviving family member's and the friends get kidnapped by the cannibal's and the rest is lame, so I won't bore you.
This movie tries to do something, I just don't know what it is? Is it a horror? Is it a crime drama? Is it a thriller? Is it a gore-fest? I just don't know. This was dull and uninspired filmmaking and I wonder why Jack Ketchum keeps putting his name on these things? I also wonder how in the hell this thing has a sequel coming out? One with a well known director and star and a recurring character from the first movie. It just shows that things get made regardless of quality or the public's taste. Perhaps I'm missing the point of this? Or perhaps I just wasn't in the mood for a cannibal movie? I mean, I was never a fan in the first place.... maybe that's it. I gave it 1 out of 5 stars as soon as it ended. I barely turned it off and I was already rating it. The problem is, once 'The Woman' comes out, I'm afraid that I'm going to want to see it. I really enjoy Lucky McKee's movies and I enjoy Angela Bettis's work, so what's a movie lover to do? I suppose we'll find out when that day comes. Until then, I'm going to stay away from the cannibal's and let the zombie's do the flesh chewing.

If you want a decent cannibalistic film, watch: 'Hunger' (2009), 'Ravenous' and 'Dumplings aka Gaau ji' (2004)

my very brief thoughts on.... 'Deranged'

Ed Gein has been written about, puzzled over, studied, and portrayed on film in many different ways.... not always as himself, but aspects of his life and crimes have been mixed in with other characters.... he's generally considered the first serial killer, however he was more of a grave robber than a killer.... he was only ever convicted of killing 2 people.... but the police think it may have been as many as 15.... therefore, he never qualified as a serial killer.... but regardless, that's the way he's remembered is as a murderer either way.... in 1974, they made probably the most accurate movie about the life of Ed Gein.... it's pretty melodramtic and dated, but if you've read the history of Ed Gein you'll see how closely they match up with the reality.... i've actually seen this movie twice.... not intentionally, it just kind of happened.... and the second time i wasn't sure until the very end that i'd already seen it.... i don't know if i liked it any better or worse the second time around, but i did get a little more out of it....

Ed Gein was a mama's boy.... he loved his mother more than anything else.... and when she died, he had an extremely difficult time coping with her death.... instead of moving on, he went and dug up her corpse and kept it in his home.... this wasn't the end of his graverobbing.... eventually he made it a regular thing.... and his home slowly turned into a museum of the macbre.... full of skulls, bones, severed body parts, lamps made of skin, a full skin body suit, and more.... things just get worse and worse with his obsession until he takes it to the next level and kills.... this proves to be a shocking revelation for the people of his small town.... the fact that a mama's boy like Eddie Gein could commit such horrific crimes....
there have been many better movies based on parts of Ed Gein's life and there may be more made at a later date.... i wouldn't be surprised.... but until that happens, this is the best one to date.... (stay away from the Kane Hodder movie 'Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield'.... it's pure and utter shit.).... i gave this movie a 2 out of 5 star rating.... it's not a good movie overall.... it is what it is....Roberts Blossom does an amazing job of bringing Eddie to life.... he creates a living and breathing man out of a subpar script.... his commitment to the role is intense.... sometimes it's so over the top that you want to laugh, but he's such a presence that you can't stop watching and don't end up laughing.... currently it's not available to rent, but you can watch it OnDemand from Netflix.... that's how i saw it.... before you delve into his depraved world, please do some research on him first.... learn all the details and view the crime scene photos.... it brings the whole story to life and you can see how much time and effort was put into this recreation of his life.... no matter how dark and twisted it was.

if you watch this, then also check out these loosely based Ed Gein movies: 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' (1974), 'The Silence of the Lambs', and 'Psycho' (1960)